Author:
Audience Rating:
Publication:
Genre:
Character Age:
Other Keywords:
Permission:
Featuring the Comic Stylings of that Zany Duo,
Kristine Roland and Drea DiMaggio
Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Chatroom Girls. Kristine and Drea enter.
Kristine:
You sit here, Drea.
Drea:
All right.
Kristine:
(to Waitress) Morning!
Waitress (JenniBrock):
Morning!
Kristine:
Well, what've you got?
Waitress:
Well, there's Stark and Bike; Somewhere Else, Ride On Spam and Gaby; Jason’s Story and Colleen and Spam; Robin, Girl’s Don’t Cry and Sarah Carrera and Spam; Spam, Aaron Joel Smith, Boston Bubble, Simon(e), and Venus Cursed and Spam; Venus Touch, Don’t Blame Me and Spam, Changing for Gym, Green Fog, Angry Mermaid, The Center, I am the Night, and Switcheroo and Spam; Spam Rusted Blade Spam Spam Jenny Lee and Spam; Spam Galactic Marshall, Trailer Park Baby Spam Spam What Light, Fortuitous Adventure, Allergies Suck, Spam, Max and Alex, For My Princess and Spam.
Chatroom Girls:
(starting to chant) Spam Spam Spam Spam...
Waitress:
...Spam Spam Spam Echoes, 300 Rains and Spam; Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Drea’s Cryfest Chapter 27 spam spam spam...
Chatroom Girls:
(singing) Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress:
...or Getting Sorted, Danny, Aunt Adele’s Easter Pageant, The Eyes Have It, Spectre, At Last a Life, You Meant It for Evil, Diamond in the Rough and Spam.
Drea:
Have you got anything without Spam?
Waitress:
Well, there's Spam Getting Sorted and Spam, that's not got much Spam in it.
Drea:
I don't want ANY Spam!
Kristine:
Why can't she have Images, Rock Star Makeover, Spam and The Nun?
Drea:
THAT'S got Spam in it!
Kristine:
Hasn't got as much Spam in it as Spam Book of Magik, Omega Unicorn and Spam, has it?
Chatroom Girls:
Spam Spam Spam Spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Drea:
Could you do An Historic Annulment, Angel Marques, Spam and Red Shoes without the Spam then?
Waitress:
Urgghh!
Drea:
What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like Spam!
Chatroom Girls:
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:
Shut up!
Chatroom Girls:
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress:
Shut up! (Chatroom Girls stop) Bloody Hell! You can't have Prom Statement, What a Day! Agent of Order, Spam,and Emma’s Story without the Spam.
Drea:
(shrieks) I don't like Spam!
Kristine:
Sshh, Drea, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your Spam. I love it. I'm having Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Assassin, Angels High, Changing for Gym, Psylocke, Funny Business Spam Spam Spam and Spam!
Chatroom Girls:
(singing) Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam!
Waitress:
Shut up!! Drea’s Cryfest is off.
Kristine:
Well could I have her Spam instead?
Waitress:
You mean Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam... (but it is too late and the Chatroom Girls drown her words)
Chatroom Girls:
(singing elaborately) Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spaaam! Lovely Spam! Wonderful spam. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Lovely Spam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spam! (Lovely Spam!) Lovely Spaaam! Spam, Spam, Spam, Spaaaaam!
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
Click the Thumbs Up! button below to leave the author a kudos:
And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
Comments
Pork Luncheon Meat
It's kosher and halal too,
Joanne
Don't think so
RAMI
RAMI
Wow, interesting story
Wow, interesting story. But did you know you can now get Acme Penis Extenders at over half off retail cost?
Something that we're sure the discerning readers here will be interested in.
Do they work? And how! We're the biggest dicks on the internet.
.
.
{{ link to actual penis extender company redacted by their request -- Erin }}
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
Gee!
...and here I am post operative and all that. What a misadventure?
Spam is actually an acronym.
It stands for spiced ham, and is made as a luncheon meat that comes in a sealed can. I'm with Drea, I don't like spam either. This was very humorous. Thank you for sharing.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
Not qute
There are no spices in SPAMTM, just salt and maybe a bit of sugar. The name was dreamed up at a dinner party given by one of the company executives. The original idea was just to call it ham, since it was cured pork meat, this met the definition of ham in common usage. But it wasn't made from the ham of the pig, the upper back leg. It was made from the upper front leg and bits and pieces of trimmings of other parts, including real ham.
So someone did a portmanteau of "shoulder pork and ham" and came up with SPAM. There was a prize at the party for whoever dreamed up the best name but since the prize involved more drinking for everyone, no one quite remembered who exactly came up with the name.
Another company faced with the same sort of problem, what do you call a product that is exactly like ham from the front legs instead of the rear. Well, one of their executives was from Buffalo and pointed out that in Quebec, in French, any cured pork that wasn't ham was bacon. And so they called it Canadian bacon. :)
The info above came from a little book called "Why Did They Name It?" by Hannah Campbell that I read back in the 70s.
And what does this all have to do with pirates? You may well ask....
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
That is a surprise to me
because a few years ago this question was on Jeopardy and the answer was spiced ham, and yes there are no spices in it, but that is what they said on the program and that is where I got my information from.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
It depends who you ask...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spam_%28food%29#Name_origin
It was apparently originally called "Hormel Spiced Ham", but was apparently renamed when it began to lose market share. Depending on who you ask, it stands for one of the following:
Shoulder of Pork and Ham (most likely, since it was recounted by a Hormel employee)
Spiced Meat and Ham
Specially Prepared American Meat
Not to mention several false etymologies:
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
and then...
I personally tend to completely ignore wikipedia as more often than not it will carry the information popular to kids but not necessarily the ACTUAL definition nor ACTUAL data (mostly hearsay).
There has been mention of spam being introduced during the 1st world war as field rations. The salt was to taste and help to preserve the meat as actual meat products on the field of battle was very hard to come by. It was not actually referred to as spam until after the 1st world war when, for some odd reason, the product became mildly popular for a short time.
(where did MY information come from? The History channel did a story in it a few years ago.)
oh and it was not an american product so the acronym can't be correct as it was developed by the UK RAF
BUT, in any case, no matter the history of the 'product', very few actually LIKE it.
>> Foxxe Wilder >>
Spam!
"Spam,spam, spam .....awwwk ! you got me singing it now!
Thanks for the giggle.
Dorothycolleen
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh
Breaks out her yellow rubber duckie to beat Drea around the head and shoulders.
Khiska
RAMI
Is Khiska a Kosher equivelent of SPAM.
RAMI
RAMI
you can get anything you want (excepting Erin)
... as long as it's got spam in it?
I have
ALISON
' got the men in the long white coats on the way to pick up 'Drea and Kristy to take
them to the ' looney bin'.What a shame,they are such nice girls but quite crazy.
But they do make us laugh.
ALISON
lmao
lmao,hey I'll take some grilled spam smootherd in JohnBoy an Billy grillin sauce with a side order of fried spam sticks xD :P. Seriously great little story this made me laugh.
Gave up
RAMI
I had to give up on this. Since Spam is not Kosher, I got lost after the first stanza ;-).
RAMI
RAMI
HUnn??????
I don't understand this stroy at ALL I undersatnd spam a unsolicated mail but what does this have to do with this story????????????
I have to give it two thumbs DOWN!!!!!!
Confusing easly lost & Who the hell are the chat room girls? This story isn't worth the powder to blow the heck & back
MAJOR rewrite is needed & Repost after the MAJOR rewrite.
Love Samantha Renee Heart
Love Samantha Renee Heart
All these questions shall be answered and more!!!!
The connection is very loose with the blog regarding spam earlier by Erin.
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/27795/people-who-give-lun...
The Chatroom Girls are featured on occasion in my Roland and DiMaggio Comedy Series. The skit is based on a very funny skit by Monty Python.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hcRIPOPNEY&feature=fvst
I am crestfallen and broken-hearted! As far as the powder to blow it up, will this do?
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
No need to be broken hearted.
RAMI
One criticism of one story, in comparison to thousands of positive comments for 100's of stories (what is the exact count by the way?) is not too bad.
It's interesting that everyone took Spam to mean that lunch meat, I can not eat, and not the stuff we all dread in our e-mail.
I guess even those here, survive on their stomachs and not their brains.
RAMI
RAMI
I would say rather, that
I would say rather, that most people are well aware of the original skit, and therefore thinking of the original meaning of SPAM from the skit. Especially when Jenni played the waitress so well. :)
Drea --- Gotta love the Monty Python spoofs... Feel free to pull me into any of them you like!
Hugs,
Kristy
Opposite of Most
RAMI
I am in that group that is the opposite of Most, I guess the minority, in that I have never seen that skit prior to 2 minutes ago.
The original is crazy. But Andrea did it one better.
Rami
RAMI
Roland and DiMaggio Comedy Series
Can they do an encore performance? Like a classic rock band getting back together one last time? Or one more time? Purty please, with spam on top? :)
— Emma