FLASHBACK

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WHEN I HAVE CLOSED MY EYES
SUDDENLY IT HAPPENS

I AM 7 AGAIN
I AM IN HIS OFFICE
I AM ON THE COUCH
FACE DOWN
THERE IS A COOL BREEZE AT MY WAIST
BECAUSE I AM BARE
NAKED
EXPOSED FOR HIS PLEASURE
HE PUSHES DOWN MY HEAD
FLAT INTO THE COUCH
CAN’T SEE ANYTHING ELSE
MY MIND STARTS TO DRIFTS
CAN’T HEAR HIM TALK
HE ONLY GRUNTS
AS HE ENTERS ME
RIPS SOMETHING INSIDE
BUT HIS FULLNESS HITS MY PROSTRATE
MY GOD,
I CAN’T BE FEELING PLEASURE
HE RELEASES INSIDE OF ME
LETS ME UP
I AM BLEEDING
HIS FLUID LEAKING OUT OF ME
I GET DRESSED
I AM ASHAMED
CAN’T LOOK AT HIM
LOOK AT THE FLOOR
I GO HOME
DOES HE WANT ME BECAUSE I AM A BOY?
OR DOES HE SEE THE GIRL INSIDE ME?
I SEE A GIRL ACROSS THE STREET
IN A PRETTY DRESS, LAUGHING
AND I WISH TO BE HER
THEN I REMEMBER TURNING 12
PUBERTY IS A BITCH
MY MALENESS A CURSE
I DESIRE GIRLS
AND ENVY THEM
THE MORE FEMININE THE BETTER
WONDER IF THERE IS ANY WAY OUT
WILL I EVER BE FREE
I WAKE UP SCREAMING