Sometime in the future:

Dear Reader: I was delighted to find that this writer account was still open after all these years. I wanted to write this story to tell you something about my family. I haven’t much experience with writing, so please bear with me, okay? I hope this blesses you. Sincerely, Angelina Abruzzi

---

 I walked into the living room. Daddy was sitting on the end of the couch. He looked tired.

"We've got about an hour before we have to leave for the airport, Dad, wanna get a quick bite to eat?" I was flying home after spending the week helping Dad get everything sorted out.

"Good Will is coming to pick up the furniture," Dad said quietly. He looked around the living room, which held so many wonderful memories for me growing up...The Christmas tree always in the same corner. Rusty's dog bed next to the fireplace.

"I'm going to miss this place, honey, but I don't feel like I want to be here now that your mom is gone...Did I make a mistake...you know...selling it so soon?" Tears filled his eyes as he grabbed my hand, as if comforting me would comfort him.

"It's okay Daddy...and you'll be living just a few towns over...Back near everybody...the boys will be able to see you…it's what you wanted to do, Dad and we miss you anyway.

"It wouldn't be the same...this big house with just me...." He put his hand to his face to hide his tears. I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder.

"I miss her too, Daddy...something awful." I blinked back my own tears as quickly as I could, but they came like rain from heaven. I rubbed my face with my sleeve and pulled out the present I had set on the table behind the couch. It was wrapped in a nice embossed foil with a pretty green ribbon.

"What's this?" Daddy took the package and held it in front of him. "Very pretty, sweetheart. Green was your mother's favorite color."

"Go ahead, open it..." I put my hand on his arm and kissed him on the cheek."

"What's that for?" He asked as he began to open the present.

"It's time, Daddy." I said, rubbing his arm.

He carefully removed the ribbon and the paper. Folding back the tissue in the box, he saw what I think may have been the best present I have ever given my father. A soft mint green silk scarf, folded carefully, along with a jade brooch and matching earrings. Daddy's eye widened in recognition

"I saw you yesterday packing your mom's stuff. I thought you were going to keep this." He said. He looked down at the scarf and jewelry. He tried hard not to cry but put his hand to his face once again and wept.

"Daddy...you need to keep this...to remind yourself of Mommy." I choked back my own tears and continued. I know Mommy wanted you to be happy, and it's time...you know it is." I kissed him again and leaned on his shoulder once more.

"It's such a big step, sweetheart...I don't know if I'm ready." He bit his tongue and looked away.

“Daddy,” I said quietly, “You’ve been ready for this all your life.” I grabbed his hand in mine and pulled him close.

“Mommy knew and loved you.” I began to sob. “Shhee….she loved you so much, Daddy. It’s okay to love yourself…who you are…every bit of you…shhheee…dddid.” I buried my face in his sleeve and cried harder than I had ever cried…or cried since. We held each other and wept…for the last time as father and daughter.

“Only promise me this….please?” I said as I wiped my face again with my sleeve. “No matter where you go…No matter what you do….I don’t care…No matter who you become.” I looked up one last time into my father’s face.

“You’ll always be my Daddy, okay? Always!”

“Always, Angie.” He said softly.

"Drea, got a sec?" Irene stood in the doorway of the office with a big smile on her face.

"Irene...for you, anything!" Drea smiled and waited for Irene to continue.

"Our package is here...would you mind taking care of it?" She laughed softly and smiled again.

"No problem...I'm so glad...I'll go get Connie, okay?" Drea said as she stood up. She walked down the hall to the main office where Connie was busy sorting out some paperwork.

"Hey, Connie, honey...do you have a few minutes?" Drea said as she leaned against the doorway. Connie looked up from her work with a broad grin. She had come to see Drea as a mother figure, and was eager to please, as much to be helpful as anything, but also from a history of rejection by her family. She was always seeking affirmation and approval.

"Sure, anything you need, I'm your man...sorry...girl" The old expression was innocent enough but stung even if it came from her own mouth. Years of misunderstanding and neglect had a lasting effect on the young woman who presented herself as attractive and intelligent, but saw herself as ugly and stupid. Even after several months in therapy and support from the ladies at the home, she still struggled with complements and encouragement

"Sweetie, I hate to dump this on you, but I have an important phone call I have to take in about fifteen minutes. The mother of one of our girls is here, and I need someone to spend some time with her...show her around until her daughter can get here. Would you mind?" Drea smiled and pointed to the large family room at the end of the hall.

"I'd be happy to help. I'm so glad someone is getting a visit...they don't come often, but it's always great when family can support us." She looked eager and happy, but the look in her eyes could not mask her own disappointment. She had no family other than her mother, but even that was painful. She and her mother only talked on rare occasions and they hadn't seen each other in two years.

"That's great...I'll be back after my call, okay?" Drea smiled once again and left the office. As she walked down the hall, she began to sing softly to herself,

"Oh I believe in you...I believe in you..."

Connie walked down the hall and entered the family room through the large archway. She noticed a small woman, likely ages with Drea standing at the large window with her back to the room. Connie stood in the middle of the room and said,

"Hello, I'm Connie...Drea had to take a call, she'll be with us shortly." She waited for a reply. The woman turned to her and Connie's eyes widened in joyful recognition.

'Hi, honey...." The woman stood facing Connie, her eyes filled with tears.

"Mommy? MOMMY!" Connie said simply over and over as she hugged the woman...her mother. They embraced for minutes, both crying.

"Oh...honey...aaa....CConnnie. I'mm...sooo...sorreeee." Her mother nearly collapsed in her arms, saying over and over "I'm so sorry." Connie led her over to a couch and they sat down. Both women continued crying and Connie stroked her mother's hair. She buried her face in her mother's shoulder as they continued to weep.

"It's okay, Mom...it's okay." Connie continued to stroke her mother's hair. After a few minutes they broke their embrace, but only far enough to look into each other's eyes.

"David....I'm so sorry....Connie....I was so wrong...I never knew...I'm so sad...please forgive me?"

"It's over Mom...it's past...I love you so much, Mom. I forgive you...can you forgive me? I was so angry...I said some things I shouldn't have...You didn't deserve that...you didn't and I am so sorry!" Connie buried her face in her mother's breast and wept, more out of relief and joy than sadness, but she was still sad.

"You have nothing to be sorry for...I am your mother and I treated you like a stranger...we both said things we shouldn't have...I forgive you" They embraced and continued to cry for several minutes, almost to the point of exhaustion, but surgery will do that to you. Years of bitterness and hate were cut away by the scalpel of forgiveness.

Drea hung up the phone and found Irene at her doorway once again.

“How’d she take it?” Irene asked, as she took a bite of an apple.

“Not a dry eye in the house. I’m glad you were able to talk to Connie’s mom. Cathilynn had been trying to get a hold of her and she wasn’t answering her calls.”

“Oh, I don’t want to take any credit…it’s not too hard to find someone at home if you call them at midnight,” Irene laughed.

“Some good news. Cathilynn was over to Sam’s to sign some custody papers. Carolyn comes here tomorrow afternoon…Good work, yourself.” Irene smiled. It wasn’t often that girls arrived at the home under good circumstances.

“It’s easy when the foster parents contact us,” Drea said, sipping a mug of coffee.

“They don’t have the resources, and this really works out well for everybody. It frees up some room for another child at home and they’re going to stay involved all through and past Carolyn’s transition. She started her RLT last fall, and her stay here will also work toward her internship for her undergrad degree; she’ll be working with me and Janet at the hospice as well as any other help the home might need. Great to have more help…I didn’t expect to have the program up and running, and it’s been a real challenge.”

“Laurie doesn’t have much time, does she?” Irene dropped the apple core into the trash and choked back some tears. “She’s such a precious girl…it’s too bad her family doesn’t want to see her through these last days….It’s just not fair.” Irene lost the battle and began to cry. Drea got up from her desk and hugged Irene.

“That’s why the home is so important, honey, and why we’re all glad to be of help. I’m going to drop in and see how she’s doing, and I’m not looking forward to it at all. I think I need a hug as well.” Drea said as she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

Laurie lay in bed. Her body was shutting down faster than any measure they tried, and it wasn’t going to be long…hours at best. Nikki sat beside her, holding her hand. Nikki was only a few steps behind Laurie, as some might say, but you couldn’t have known it from looking at her. She stroked Laurie’s hair as she cooed a lullaby to the dying girl. Laurie clutched a teddy bear…an antique Steif, with brown fur and cream colored muzzle. The teddy bear sported a bow tie, red, and a cream colored vest as well.

Laurie peered through nearly sightless eyes and whispered softly,

“Sissy…sissy..are you there?” Sissy was her pet name for Nikki.

“I’m here honey…I’m holding your hand.”

“Sing it again…would you?” Nikki looked at Laurie and the tears came like a river, flowing down her face in a torrent of grief and sadness, but her voice was clear and happy.

“Why do you weep? What are these tears upon your face? Soon you will see all of your fears will pass away; safe in my arms…you're only sleeping.” Nikki’s song turned to sobs as she sang, and she put her head down and rested it next to Laurie’s face and kissed her gently on the cheek.

“Sissy..Are you there…” Laurie whispered once again. “Kiss me again, Sissy and then I think I’ll take a rest…I’m so tired…okay?’

“Sure, honey” Nikki said as Drea and Janet moved next to the bed. Drea put her hand on Nikki’s shoulder. She leaned over and kissed Nikki on the top of the head as the soft sounds of Nikki’s sweet song were interrupted by the loud monotone of the monitor. It was over. Janet checked Laurie’s pulse and looked at Drea and shook her head. She mouthed “4:17 pm” silently and reached over and closed Laurie’s eyes for the last time.

“That was such a blessing, honey.” Janet said to Nikki as she wept. She lifted her head off of Laurie’s arm. It was a sweet moment of misunderstanding as Nikki said,

“Oh, yes…” She wiped her face with her sleeve and said,

“I can’t imagine anything more special than to be with her at the end…Thank you for letting me help.” Janet had meant that Nikki’s song had been a special moment, likely one of the happiest times in Laurie’s all-too-brief life, but really…it was so important and precious for Nikki as well, being a part of the moment; feeling useful and special herself after years of waste and neglect in her own life.

“Yes, honey, it was very special and I’m so glad you were here to be with her. You were her best friend ever, and I know that when she reaches heaven she’ll remember that you helped her.” Drea wiped her own tears and kissed Nikki on the cheek before leaving the room. As she stepped into the hall, she saw Sandra leaning against the wall, covering her face with her hand.

“It never gets easier, does it, sweetheart,” Drea said as she pulled Sandra in for a hug. “And you’ve seen so many come and go…” Drea kissed Sandra’s cheek as the woman wept in her arms.

“I saw what you did…” Drea said as she choked back her own tears.

“What do you mean?” Sandra really didn’t have any idea what Drea was talking about.

“The teddy bear.” Drea smiled and looked back into the room where Laurie lay.

“She mentioned it the first day she came…when she was little…the teddy bear her Uncle Danny gave her…the only one who listened to her…the only one who ever cared for the girl. You got the bear for her. I bet he cost a fortune.” Drea smiled.

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about….” Sandra pulled back abruptly and straightened up, but she couldn’t change the look on her face, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

“Don’t worry,” Drea said, “It will be our secret, hon.” She touched Sandra’s arm and winked with a smile.

____________________________________________

Drea sat at the table in the dining room, drinking her fourth cup of coffee for the day. The clock over the buffet read 8:35, and it had been likely one of the longest days of her life, save for the day her sweetheart passed. She closed her eyes and remembered the peace she felt and how this day was no different. Her faith had seen her through some rough patches, and would continue to bring her solace and comfort for days like this one as well.

“I’m beat,” a voice came from behind her in the archway to the hall. She turned and saw Janet standing there, leaning against the archway and looking very tired.

“I’m awfully glad this arch is here, otherwise I think I’d fall over.” She laughed and sat down across from Drea at the table.

“Do you have a few minutes to talk?” Janet asked, as she grabbed a Poland Spring out of the bowl on the table. Opening the bottle, she took a short sip and smiled weakly.

Drea looked at her and worried that she wanted to talk about Laurie. She had been up since four thirty that morning. Hyper-vigilance was one old friend that continued to visit her from time to time, a final but fading relic of her childhood. Janet looked at her and smiled, almost in an enigmatic way; a modern day Mona Lisa with a secret perhaps.

“I know you.” She said.

Drea thought to herself, “Oh no, not a New Age enlightenment moment. Her brief thought was quickly interrupted.

“You really don’t know, do you?” She smiled and laughed. “Well, it has been over forty years; I’d be surprised if you did.” She smiled again and continued.

“Makes me think that all that money I paid to have this work done has finally paid off.” Drea looked at her and wondered where the conversation was going.

“You know my name, right?”

“Yes, of course, Janet McGuire. What of it.”

“Doesn’t it sound familiar? I know you’ve heard it before…at least the last name.”

“McGuire…sure, plenty of times. It was my first wife’s last name. Are you related to her?” Drea was caught between being intrigued and fearful of the answer.

“And your last name is?” This was almost to the point of being annoying.

“DiMaggio. Janet, I’m pretty good at Trivial Pursuit and Jeopardy, but I’ve never been really good at guessing games.”

“You told us your story the first night you came to volunteer…You’d been married, widowed. You’ve got a daughter Angie who lives with her husband and two boys in Darby not too far from here.”

“Janet…get to the point. I love you like a sister, sweetie, but I’ve been up since I don’t know when, okay?”

“You told us your first marriage broke up before you met Annie, right? And that your first wife’s name was Antoinette? Toni? Toni McGuire?”

Drea was surprised that Janet had remembered so many details of her story after hearing it only the one time. She was about to say, “And?” when Janet said,

“Toni is my sister.” Janet smiled the Mona Lisa smile once again, prompting a puzzled look followed by a very confused look.

“She lives in town. I told her all about you and she wants to see you.” Another enigmatic smile, which finally evoked,

“Andy…It’s me.”

Drea was floored. Toni was her first love…childhood sweethearts…Saddest part of her life…saddest behavior followed by an even sadder divorce. She never kept in touch after a brief reconciliation of sorts after Toni remarried and before she met Annie. But the real kicker came next.

“And Toni…I know what you’re thinking….She misses you…she asks about you all the time, and she wants to see you.” Janet smiled once again and started to laugh.

“Drea, honey…I know it’s been a long time, but I know you remember…Toni didn’t have a sister. Sweetie…It’s me….Kenny.”

Second Chances by Trisha Yearwood