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The Lucky One (Part 4)

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The Lucky One, Part 4

(Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, and all beings in between, this is the conclusion of the exciting origin of the Fantastic Fluke, “the luckiest person alive.” Without further ado, let's join today's adventure, already in progress....)

It was a dark and stormy night....

(Umm, Fluke? Dot here. Just what are you doing?)

(I got bored waiting for you, so I thought I would get started without you)

(Fluke, leave the writing to professionals, okay?)

(Fine. Should we catch every body up)



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This story is 84 words long.

dr peter gomes

I never got to know this guy very well when I was at college, but he was a well-loved figure on campus, even for those of us who weren't religious. Now he's gone we're all poorer for his passing. Would that everyone in various churches was as tolerant and giving.

Here's a lovely interview from a few years back. One of Stephen Colbert's finer moments, and that's saying something.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/18493...

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What Religion is Your Bra?

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A friend sent this to me and I thought some of you might get a giggle out of it.

What Religion is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,
"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

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The Lucky One (Part 3)

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Authors note: because it has been a while since I posted the last episode, and before I hand things over to Our Lady of Perpetual Ego, I feel I should point out something about this adventure. This is NOT an objective account. It is seen through our heroine's eyes, and she has a certain.... bias, that must be taken into account when reading, and it is wise to take what she says with a large truck full of salt. If you have read the first two episodes, you are probably saying something like “Duh!” but I thought I should pass on the warning Enjoy!



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This story is 104 words long.

The Lucky One

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The Lucky One


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The Lucky One (part 2)

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The Lucky One

(Part 2, or “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping”)

Hay, kids! What time is it? It’s Fantastic Fluke time! (note to the owners of the Howdy whoever show, please don’t sue me. I am just funning, and I have already had a cease and desist order from Disney from borrowing the theme from the Mickey Mouse Club by accident in my first entry)

Yessirry, its your pal, the Flukester, back with more of my amazing origin!



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This story is 83 words long.

Changes Book 2 - Chapter~11

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One of the sailors stayed on deck fingering his rifle suggestively while the others, including the young officer started swarming over the ship like bargain hunters rummaging through the reduced knickers at the Harrods sale–pleasant, it was not!

 


Changes–Book Two

A Penmarris Story
Chapter 11


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This story is 46 words long.

Every Few months…

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Some funny stuff.

A reader wrote to my Hotmail to say he liked Star Crossed. He went on to say that he had only gotten into it because he clicked the wrong link!

… Sure! Fine by me.

I like to scribble a little, in those exceedingly rare instances that I have any time at all, and I’m convinced that like most people who’ve been afflicted with this same psychological shortcoming, I don’t care if he tripped over or fell down the link — Just as long as once the actual reading is begun, he feels like reading to the end.

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How Boys Get Made

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I was chatting with my older daughter (who also has a quirky sense of humor)... And, the following came up in the conversation:

Your ovaries took a wrong left turn back in the second trimester. They're on their way back, but they got lost in this odd little testosterone-filled sack...

Then, she went on and explained how it happened:

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A Real Beaver Shot

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I have a hobby that some others here also seem to like. I'm a shutterbug. I love to take pictures. I'll go miles out of my way to find something to take a picture of, and I'll stand around doing nothing while waiting for the light to be 'just right'. And sometimes, I just stumble across something worth shooting.

Yesterday, I stumbled across something worth recording. I have to admit I didn't ask permission to take these pictures of her swimming, but I figured she wouldn't mind because after all, she was swimming in a pond right beside the road... and she wasn't wearing any clothes!

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Bowel Prep-Funny!

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Anybody who has had SRS probably had some form of bowel prep, back in the day it was "Go Lightly" a deception on the part of the marketing department! Tasted like whale snot too.

Here is a piece on bowel prep by Scottish comic Billy Connolly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMsPNI6EZE

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Quillian -Book 1- Teenager from Hell -Page 38- Do You Know How to Whistle?

Quillian has some fun and Ydde tries to call for the Brute Squad!



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A love story number 2

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Since some of you liked the other 500 word story I wrote for a local radio competition I suppose I may as well post the second one (the competition allowed 2 entries per person). This isn't a tear jerker but may raise a wry smile.

Love in the slow lane

John self-consciously fingered the red carnation in the buttonhole of his sports jacket. He wasn’t used to it, not sports jackets nor buttonholes nor the flowers that go in them. He searched the tables in the Motorway café. Then he saw her sitting alone reading The Spectator, and walked nervously over.

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The Ret-Con Connection

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The Ret-Con Connection

by Andrea Lena DiMaggio
For Lillith
 

All of us under its spell, we know that it's actually MAGIC
(like ohhh..that's so lovely..not enchanting or anything..you know...)




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This story is 32 words long.

A little light relief

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OK, there's been a lot of serious blogs recently (including Erin pleading for the umpteenth time for us to try and remember to be civil with each other instead of ripping off each other's heads!), so I thought I'd quickly grab a few amusing songs from my YouTube favourites...

Righteo, here we go. Let's kick off with a publicity stunt / fake flashmob by the Swingle Singers.

A couple of medical professionals describing their new wonder drug: Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin.

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My Legs, Again

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My Legs, Again

By Stanman63
My Legs, Again!

Synopsis:I went to the clinic in order to get my prescriptions refilled, but when they saw my legs, they sent me to the hospital. They thought that my legs needed surgery. Well, the doctor said I just needed my meds an a bit of help to shrink them down to size. I was only there, overnight. Go figure!
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Quillian -Book 1- Teenager from Hell -Page 14- Breakfast Serial

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A fellow could lose his appetite after seeing someone ripped apart by a chest burster...

20100520-quillian-thumb.png



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Is this Angharad's secret identity?

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Angharad and I share a couple of characteristics. We're both Guardianistas and we both ride bikes but I've long suspected that her 'real' identity is ... Lucy Mangam, Guardian columnist. The writing styles are so similar. Take Lucy's contribution this morning as an example and tell me you don't find similarities with the (allegedly) fictional Cameron family in 'Bike' :

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/may/03/marriage-...

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The Lingerie Shop

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Once again, for your amusement, the comedic stylings of Roland and Dimaggio. This classic skit is taken from their long-running PBS-BBC joint production, Lost in Transition. Please enjoy and don't forget this week is pledge week. Roland and Dimaggio will be taking your phone calls as they sit for an interview with that internationally known star of stage, screen and television, Miss Susan Heywood.
Call in at 1-800-555-BRAS...1-800-555-2727
 



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This story is 73 words long.

The Kings Outstretched Scepter

THE KING'S OUTSTRETCHED SCEPTER
by Rami
 
This is a story of how a King’s Outstretched Scepter saved his Queen, her people and granted an 11-year old their long held dream.

image

As I rubbed sleep out of my eyes, everything seemed strange. I felt different. I then recalled the events of yesterday, especially of last night. I remembered the tingling I felt during the reading of the Megilah. It started just as King Ahasuerus stretched out his scepter to Queen Esther.

My thoughts and recollections were becoming somewhat cloudy. Was what I was thinking and feeling real? Is that it! My, oh my, do I hope so. It would be fantastic!!! My dreams realized!!!



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This story is 114 words long.

Hi! My name is Jerry.

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 ­  Hi! My name is Jerry

By Rachel Anne Keller

 

          You know like short for Jerome but not?



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This story is 17 words long.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 763.

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Wuthering Dormice
(aka Bike)
Part 763
by Angharad
  
-Dormouse-001.jpg


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This story is 7 words long.

Fancy A Bite?

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She was really pretty and I could feel a bit of a twitch in my pants.

Fancy A Bite?

By Susan Brown



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This story is 22 words long.

My Therapy, Getting Fitted

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Last year, about September, I was sent to the Emergency Rom {A&E} because I had mowed the lawn while wearing shorts, not my usual sweat pants. I set up a staph infection that demanded attention. The doctor drained my leg and removed dead tissue, then after a week, set me home.

The Home Care Nurses then came by to tend the leg. They'd change the wrappings and make sure that the leg was healing. Soon after, I was put on a wound vac pump to collect the drainage from the one draining wound.

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A Study of the Transsexual Creature.

I don't know if this counts as fiction so I decided to put it here. This is a somewhat humorous explanation of what a transsexual is. The original is posted on http://mylittleplaceinspace.com All comments about the text are very welcome.

The Life of the Transsexual Creature

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 531.

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Wuthering Dormice (aka Bike). 531.
by Angharad



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This story is 6 words long.

My Weird Winamp, and New Year's Resolutions

A wise lady said something to me about a year and a half ago: "Don't rush it." It's taken me that long just to come to grips that I'm not "just" a crossdresser, that there's so much more to my personality; so much that I've buried and reburied, only to have it come clawing its way back to the surface like something out of an episode of Buffy.

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Celebrate Life - A Poem.

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Celebrate Life.

bike-rider-girl-w-helmet.jpg



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This story is 2 words long.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 6

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Yuk, that sounds really messy.’ I said, ‘ so all women go through that, every month!



Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 6

By Susan Brown


Angel



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This story is 23 words long.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 5

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It was dark, well it would be as it was nighttime and the lights were out...


Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 5

By Susan Brown


Angel



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This story is 24 words long.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 4

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Looking at the note left me with a feeling of dread. Here I was on holiday on this lovely cruise ship, trying to get away from my problems and enjoy myself for once and some weirdo has sent me more flowers than at a rock stars funeral.


Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 4

By Susan Brown


Angel



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This story is 55 words long.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 2

The judge looked at his papers again and then looked at the man who ruined my life.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 2

By Susan Brown


Angel



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This story is 25 words long.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On! 1

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My stepfather or shall I say bigamous stepfather and murderer of my mother looked smug as he stood in the dock.

Working Girl ~ Life Goes On!

By Susan Brown


Angel

You may want to read the thrilling non stop original Working Girl first, cos if you don't, you'll have no idea what the story is about, and now on with the show...



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This story is 61 words long.

Tragedy of the Spirit part 14 ..... School is in .

TRAGEDY OF THE SPIRIT PART 14 SCHOOL IS IN......

I am sure that everyone must remember there high school days, especially the first one. I know I will and let me tell you it was a nice one. Although I had so many emotions running through my head. Fear, being one of them. I also had alot of anxiety and stress upon which I was not expecting.

*****



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This story is 66 words long.

Charlotte's Tale part 14.

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Charlotte’s Tale,
by Angharad.
part 14.

Nothing much happened for the next few days and I did my practices and occasionally saw Simon, but not Jane. I wasn’t deliberately avoiding her, but neither was I seeking her out, so our paths didn’t cross.



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This story is 45 words long.

Gaby's Manx Tale

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Just to prove I can write a complete story. This was written for the proto-Gabycon in July 2007, and read to the assembled crowds by the author(who has since lived in hiding). It has previously been posted on Maddy Bell's site.

Gaby’s Manx Tale.
By Angharad.

“You do this to me everytime,” protested Drew.

“You could always do your own packing!” snapped Maddy and went off down the corridor.



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This story is 70 words long.

She is still alive!!!!

Sigh. Yes I am still alive and kicking for any and all who really gives a rats arse or have even heard of me which I don't think either of the above is likely. I am the proprietess of Beverly's Balcony, which has been around for a number of years in all it's disfunctioning and picturesque glory. I have even been registered user and silent participant of other sites including this excellent one.

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike part 15

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
part 15.



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This story is 9 words long.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike part 12

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad,
part 12.

Somehow we made it to our table, Stella and me that is, Simon had stopped to talk to some bloke near the entrance. "You won't mention those two to Simon, will you?" I asked, almost pleaded with Stella.

"No, I'll just go and ask them to join us," she joked. "Look I might only be a nurse, but I do have some functioning brain cells."



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This story is 74 words long.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike part 11

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
Part 11.



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This story is 9 words long.

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