Masks Chapter 41

Chapter 41

*Before…

I look at her. “We can come with.”

She looks nervous. “You guys don’t have to.”

I look at her and slip over and give her a hug. “Hey it’ll be okay it’ll give everyone two targets instead of like one.”

Mary Jane says. “Three, safety in numbers from the whole parental scrutiny thing, cause that happens when they start talking.”

She bites her lip and she nods. “Okay.”

I smile my own little shaky smile. “Besides I kinda gotta go, I want to kind of have people like actually meet me before Halloween.”

“What’s going on with Halloween?”

“Uhm…I’m coming out.”

Okay Becky’s jaw drop was worth it.

I tied my shoes and hid the secret cargo in my backpack then locked the door behind me. I could see the entrance to the park in the distance as I started my hike. Memories of a lifetime filled my thoughts.

Jem… Chapter 120

Jem…Chapter 120 by Bailey Summers Copyright © 2013 Bailey Summers All Rights Reserved.

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 24

*Before…

It’s an hour and a half past visiting hours by the time we’re done watching the movies and we’re all yawning and stretching and stuff and we head downstairs to leave or rather they are and I walk them downstairs mostly to get the aches from the bed and sitting for so long out and stuff.

We hug and promise to talk online and stuff later and I watch them get into their cars and stuff.

Danny has his license apparently and he’s driving this old, really old cutlass cruiser station wagon…that’s Oldsmobile I think it’s such a beater but it kind of suits him.

Sigh…What a really, really good night.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 22

*Before…

Mom takes Dad’s hand and she kisses him and she leads him out of my room and I look at Kaitlyn and she sort of blushes under the scrutiny and bites her lower lip a little and we sort of do that intense stare at each other thing before the tears are building up in my eyes and I start to cry and…

“Thank you, thank you for just like dropping your life and coming…” (Sniffle.)

She gives me that head tilty really light up the day kind of pretty smile and she reaches up and she thumbstrokes some of the tears that are starting away from my face.

I’m happy crying still some and just emotionally crying too and I’m shaking a little because I’ve never had anyone do that to me before and my brain’s in like good shock?

“You’re my friend Sarah of course I’d come.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 20

*Before…

They all kind of are gone after that and I’m kind of just sitting there wiping the odd tear leaking out of kind of like relief. There’s some more answers and there’s people that kind of sort of know me and stuff but more importantly they want to know me.
Sarah me…Well I think I mean that they mean me; the whole thing was on Shawn’s page and all.
And Adam…wow…Shawn stood at least for something.
I really can’t like see me being brave though, crazing and wanting to get hurt maybe but brave?
Though it’s kind of nice to know that Shawn wasn’t like an ass to people.
And I am tired…and tomorrow is likely going to be a busy day and things.
I wipe at my eyes again and power down and close my laptop and try and get comfortable and get some sleep before Mom or the staff show up for stuff tomorrow.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 18

*Before…

And now…now I have what happens after a girl is done crying.

I’m hurt.

I’m hurt and I’m angry.

I get out of the shower and I dry off and glare at myself a few moments in the mirror before going and getting my things, dry underwear and change and dry there…eyes hard…jaw clenched through that.

Then I get my tablet and start playing tunes…Pink…angry stuff girl power kind of stuff and I start looking at myself in the mirror and take out my make-up and with a breath and leaning on the sink gripping it in a sort of eff-you to all of them I start doing my face.

“Fuck you…fuck you all (Angry sniffle.) I’m going to be who I am…and you’ll have to just deal with it.”

I’m going to do this, and keep doing this until I’m good at it, better than good at it.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

*Before…

“Yes and if you can do without your mom and I for a while tomorrow we’re going to drive down and pick her up so we can actually meet her parents instead of talking to them on the phone and online.”
I can’t help it but I end up hugging him and he hugs me back.
And there it is the sniffles. (Sniffle.) “You guys are awesome, you sure it’s okay?”
He gives me a bit of a tighter squeeze that sort of sets off what the Doc just said about all of the stuff that they must have gone through with me and everything. It really, really means a whole hell of a lot that he and that she cares so much.
That he’s hugging me like hugging me is special.
……me…special.
Y’know it’s one of those visceral feelings more than anything else but it feels like feeling like I’m special was something that was pretty far removed from my life before this.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

*Before…

I actually journal that last bit as a kinda sorts update and then I sent out some PM’s to the people on my friends list.
“Uhm Hey everyone this is Sarah, I’m kind of in a bind and stuff. I’ve got a psychiatrist and she sorta seems alright but it’s still scaring me and everything really bad. See she wants to see this, all of this stuff here on my LJ because it’s the only stuff of me that I have that is any record of me…I mean I don’t really have Shawn-time as me to go by as stuff that happened before in my life.”
“I think, I think I have to do this which means I’ll be friending her to my LJ page here and that there will be a Shrink and an Adult here listening in and stuff.”
“Goddamn it, that scares the shit out of me.”
“If you all need to block or unfriend me to like feel safe and all I get it, it’s really my deal and my bullshit that this is all about and stuff…no judgment from here if you need to bail.”
“But I think, I think that I need to do this.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 11

*Before…

“Yeah it’s pretty much all gone and I’ve found myself here in this journal and with all of you…and even with my memory gone…guess what? I’m still trans. So I guess I’m still Sarah. And I’m like out to my folks.”

“I sort of had a major PTSD freak out inside the Scanner-coffin thing and I…Sarah came out during my panic attack. Thankfully my folks seem to be cool about it. The whole thing though is really scary and really messed up. I think so for all of us.”

“Well that’s about it for now, I really can’t think of much else to say or cover right now.”

I read it twice and then I hit post and I sit back and switch over to my You Tube to watch some videos and as I’m doing so I’m getting pings to my g-mail with replies to my post.

I’m really nervous as I click it over and start to read them.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 9

*Before…

He passes Mom’s hers and she does the exact almost same thing as I did and he picks up some bags from the floor that he brought in from Sears and Walmart and sets them on the bed.

“Your Mom and I agree that until you get home and can go through your things that I’d best make a pit stop for a few things for you so here you go. Now your Mom picked the sizes and hell she picked out most of this and sent me pics of what to get on the phone so if it doesn’t fit blame her. And the rest is stuff that I picked out.”

Oh…oh wow I look in the bags and it’s clothes and things and I can see packages of underwear and stuff and I look and look and look then I look at him and I look at her and I bite my lip.

“I…I don’t know if I’ve ever dressed like this before...”

*And Now…

Images-58

Chapter 58

*Before…

“C’mon Jenna Let’s go and actually have some fun with our daughter before my buzz wears off and my meds wipe me out. I didn’t haul my butt out of the couch and into this get up for nothing okay.”
I give her a hard squeeze and take a deep breath and nod and wipe at my eyes. (Sniff.) “Yeah, I really want to do this.”
I go with her and Hunter and Angie’s joining us with Giselle after she got her into her little one piece and we start with the wading pools with the other little kids and she scream-squeals and she’s waddle running into the water and splashing and slapping the water with that bouncy thing she does with that. “Yeeee-he-he-he!”
I’m smiling and laughing because she’s such an amazing little spaz and she is having that Omigod freak-out where she’s just blown away by the coolness of being in a pool and is hitting brain overload.
And there is no way that that can’t make you smile and have that blow all the bad stuff away.
I look at Iggy and I hug her around the shoulder.
“Thanks, thanks for her and making me a mom.”

*And Now…

My Super Secret Life…Scarlet-18.

Chapter 18

*Before…

And he’s very, very married.

Man…getting used to this and being me and these super hero types is going to take a whole lot more getting used to.

I kind of get him out of my head and I’m trying to take note of the ride since I’ve never been in an aero-ambulance before and the EMT looks at me and it’s the guy that I met with the whole big thing that happened down town when I first helped out all the other AA’s.

“Hey you.” He says in quietly and nicely kinda of caring guy and gentle like…I know because I’ve used the same tones myself.

“Hey…….” Oh...oh man I can’t remember his name.

*And Now…

A Halloween fun event becomes attractive because of the girl asking Melvin... Melanie's comment to a reporter is seen by the School Board as a challenge to their authority... Instead of apologizing, Mel simply says they're wrong in accepting the reporter's interpretation of events.