The therapist

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

*Before…

“Yes and if you can do without your mom and I for a while tomorrow we’re going to drive down and pick her up so we can actually meet her parents instead of talking to them on the phone and online.”
I can’t help it but I end up hugging him and he hugs me back.
And there it is the sniffles. (Sniffle.) “You guys are awesome, you sure it’s okay?”
He gives me a bit of a tighter squeeze that sort of sets off what the Doc just said about all of the stuff that they must have gone through with me and everything. It really, really means a whole hell of a lot that he and that she cares so much.
That he’s hugging me like hugging me is special.
……me…special.
Y’know it’s one of those visceral feelings more than anything else but it feels like feeling like I’m special was something that was pretty far removed from my life before this.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

*Before…

I actually journal that last bit as a kinda sorts update and then I sent out some PM’s to the people on my friends list.
“Uhm Hey everyone this is Sarah, I’m kind of in a bind and stuff. I’ve got a psychiatrist and she sorta seems alright but it’s still scaring me and everything really bad. See she wants to see this, all of this stuff here on my LJ because it’s the only stuff of me that I have that is any record of me…I mean I don’t really have Shawn-time as me to go by as stuff that happened before in my life.”
“I think, I think I have to do this which means I’ll be friending her to my LJ page here and that there will be a Shrink and an Adult here listening in and stuff.”
“Goddamn it, that scares the shit out of me.”
“If you all need to block or unfriend me to like feel safe and all I get it, it’s really my deal and my bullshit that this is all about and stuff…no judgment from here if you need to bail.”
“But I think, I think that I need to do this.”

*And Now…

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