Previously…

“I’m so sorry, “Lisa apologized again. “I wish I could say I miss him, but he’s been absent for so long. Even when he was home, it was either the job or his girlfriends. I stopped loving him a long time ago.” The tears in her eyes belied her plaint, but she shook her head.

“Yeah….colder…” Anya said softly to no one. She had planned to get up since the guest bedroom was already laid out but she was drained by the day’s events. In spite of her best efforts to stay awake, she leaned back against the couch and was asleep in moments; her sleep accompanied by a coo mixed with a sympathetic sob….

Naboo…. Just a universe next to Florham Park….

Mianami sat on a long couch in the outer room to her suite; leaning forward with her hands on her knees. She sighed. Even before her responsibility as chief aide and mentor to the Queen; more than anyone she knew, she was well aware of the pull of service on the life she and others had assumed to bless the Queen. Her sister had died in the arms of Queen Amidala; one of three young women who made the supreme sacrifice. And Mianami had set aside her own dreams; leaving a life filled with hope in the form of a young woman she had loved in favor of her people’s needs.

“Hope….” She whispered in prayer as she laid her head down. Despite her resolve, she wept softly, but yet in hope.

“Nadezhda,” Anya murmured as she stirred. Sunlight was peeking softly past the drawn curtains in the living room. She sat up slowly; realizing both that she had fallen asleep on the couch and that Lisa must have covered her with a comforter sometime in the night. She noticed the aroma of coffee and the sound of stirring coming from the kitchen.

“Cream and sugar?” Lisa asked as she held up two mugs.

“Dark, no sugar please?” Anya waved and Lisa nodded. A moment later Lisa arrived with two mugs of coffee and a large plate with two bagels.

“Need to get out to shop,” Lisa said absentmindedly. Anya nodded in agreement, but there was time enough for that later. She went to speak, but hesitated in thought. As she pondered her question, she was met with one from Lisa.

“”You were … talking…in your sleep. You kept repeating your… Your Sergei’s name and a word… Na..Nades…?”

“Oh…. Nadezhda ….it was a favorite of his. Sort of Russian mixed with Belarus? It means to hope. Serge was a big one for hope.” Lisa titled her head in question and Anya replied.

“It…it took me a long time to even say the word after he died. Mika, god bless her heart, never stopped hoping. I don’t even know what it means now other than that we have hope that things will always work out. I just can’t even begin to imagine…to dream what that means, if that makes any sense?”

“I think it does…for me for the most part. When Sandy’s dad stopped caring, I started getting back to my own spiritual roots…church… and it helped. But this whole thing with Sandy…” Lisa paused and looked down the hall. Seeing the bedroom door closed, she felt safe enough if still in a whisper to continue.

“It’s really thrown me for a loop, like my grand mom would say. Not Sandy, but I feel so helpless at times to protect her… It was hard enough when her father abandoned us, but with the whole gender thing…”

“The gender thing, Mom? The thing? Sandy stood in the hallway; her face a mixture of grief and anger. Mika was just walking down the hall when Sandy turned and ran past her. She closed the door sharply as if to shut away what she felt she heard. Lisa hurried past Mika and called through the door.

“No…Sandy….not…not…”

“Go away!” Sandy sobbed. It got quiet and Lisa heard the sigh of sagging bedsprings as Sandy cried into her pillow. Lisa tried the door, but Sandy had locked it. On most occasions, Lisa would give her space; but today was more urgent than any other day. She went to turn; only to find Anya standing with a half-smile and a butter knife she had retrieved from a drawer in the kitchen.

“Mika taught me this.” She stepped past Lisa and inserted the blade between the doorframe and the trim. A moment later Anya was sitting next to the bed. Lisa stood over Sandy and was rubbing her back; the vibrations of her daughter’s sobbing were jarring. Mika knelt on the other side of the bed; her face eye level with Sandy’s.

“Mommy and I and your Mom love you, Sandy, okay?” She reached over and gently nudged Sandy’s head to turn. With her other hand, she gently placed a tissue to Sandy’s cheek as she dabbed away tears; barely keeping up with the cascade of shame.

“We’re all girls here, so it’s okay to cry. Just hafta let us cry with you, okay?” Mika said as her own face mirrored her friend’s albeit with hopeful tears. And of course, the solace did exactly what it was meant to do. Sandy turned her face upward to look at her mother. Lisa nodded and the misunderstanding faded away quickly as Sandy’s realization of safety was punctuated by one word; this time spoke by her best friend.

“Nadezhda.” Mika said softly.

Across town at Tiffany’s house…

“Mom? Can I stay home today? I don’t feel so good.” Tiffany was being a bit self centered, but then she also was up all night with a very bad case of guilt-induced nausea. She had looked into the mirror; both figuratively and literally, and she was very upset with the person looking back at her.

“We have an errand to run, honey. Can you manage that?” Eileen pointed at the kitchen door to the garage. While Tiffany had recovered, she still felt entirely responsible for her horrible treatment of her best friend. She might have had little strength, but she had less strength to argue on her own behalf; a foolish task at best, and she really did want to do the right thing.

“I’ll ...let me put on something and I’ll be ready whenever you want.” She was ready for going out, but she wasn’t prepared for what lie ahead; an errand mixed equally with mercy and contrition and likely one of the best series of moments she would enjoy in her on-the-verge high school life. Eileen sighed in relief. It was going to prove to be a very long but ultimately rewarding day.

At the Reynolds’ home...

“Sandy? Baby? Mommy has something she needs to...”

“Whenever...whenever you say “Mommy has to...” it means...” Sandy stifled a sob; too much crying already, and the day hadn’t really begun. She half frowned.

“It’s about Daddy, isn’t it?” Lisa shuddered; how could Sandy know? But it was almost expected. Sanford Amos Reynolds Sr. Was never really a part of his daughter’s life; even so far as to insist on referring to the child for whom he cared as his son. And his unabated drinking almost forebode what Lisa’s precious child had already sensed. It was just too much for Lisa and she fell back onto the couch in heaving sobs. A mother should protect her daughter from the lack of love of an ungrateful father, shouldn’t she?

“Sandy?” Anya stepped close and held out her arms; the aunt the girl never had was alive in her best friend’s mother. Sandy put her head down; speaking in a near-silent whisper.

“Daddy? “ Anya choked back a so; still offering the embrace that her mother would duplicate in a few moments.

“I’m so sorry,” the voice cried from behind. If anyone knew what Sandy felt, it was Mika. Except her father had always loved Anya and Mika. There would be no happy reconciliation for father and daughter as Sandy’s void would only be filled in other; perhaps better if completely unexpected ways. But it still was her ‘Daddy’. She fell into Anya’s arms as Lisa gained the strength she needed and joined the two. Anya guided Sandy into Lisa’s arms and the both to the couch.

“I’ll make some tea, Mom?” Mika asked. Anya wiped away her own tears and nodded. Never in any moment before that time had Anya felt so close to anyone other than her late husband Sergei and Mika. But in that moment, Anya felt like a second Mom to Sandy Reynolds and that made it easier in a most painful if precious way to accept that she had fallen in love with Lisa Reynolds.

A while later in the library at Whippany Park High School…

Eileen and Tiffany walked up to a young man who was placing a pile of art history texts on a display table.

“Excuse me? Do you have any books on gender identity and teens?” Eileen tapped the boy’s shoulder. He turned and smiled at her and Tiffany; evoking a start from the girl and a feigned look of surprise from her Mom.

“Hi Aunt Ei.”

“Hi Eric.” Eileen mirrored her nephew’s broad grin while Tiffany’s efforts to hide behind Eileen failed even as her face grew very hot and red.

At Panera Bread, a short while later

“I don’t... I want to...”

“Tiff? It’s okay. Really.” Eric sat across from Tiffany and Eileen.

“You like who you are, and that’s great. I didn’t hate myself when i was Erica but now I feel like I know who I am. He gestured to himself. Blue denim jacket over a teal California Republic tee shirt with non-descript jeans and black converse tennies. His hair was longish but combed back; reveling a cross piercing on his left ear.

“I’m still me...just not how you remember me...remember us” He smile warmly, which evoked a nervous if entirely sincere smile from his cousin.

“Are you...” She blushed, and Eric continued to smile.

“No... I know it doesn’t fit with what everybody expects. I’m never going to...well, you’ve seen my mom and my sis. Caliie and me....We don’t... we’re not very big.”

“Do you use one of those wraps the article talk about?” Eileen asked as she finished her green tea.

“Yes, but it’s ...well...I am still fine with who I am.”

“What about?” Tiffany shuddered at the thought as Eric anticipated the question.

“If I ever get together with some nice girl, we may decide to have kids, and maybe that means ...”

“Taking turns? A surrogate donor?” Eileen asked. Tiffany blushed again.

“Tiff? It’s okay... relax. Uncle Al called this morning and said you were up all night with him and Aunt Ei. This isn’t an ambush. We just figurred you needed to know. And Today’s special is potato cheddar, so lunch is on me.”

“You want to have kids?” Tiffany resisted to add ‘ewww;’ mostly because Eric’s explanation was actually sinking in.

“Yes. I want to be a parent. But Tiff? You do know I only turn 17 in August, right? ?" Eric laughed and continued

"And I can’t complain about whatever comes along. Or who comes along.”

“But it’s early, Eric. Never a need to be who anyone wants you to be and just the right time to explore who you are. No need for labels or names other than Eric?” Eileen interjected.

“Are you happy?” Tiffany asked with a bit of dread; her fear that Eric wasn’t happy rather than her expectation of how ‘wrong’ it was. Things had changed for the girl; something Eric noticed just in their brief conversation.

“I know you don’t understand, but I do know you want to; even if it isn’t necessary for me, it is for you.

“I...want to be...” She began to cry.

“I know you love me, and just knowing you want to understand means you really want to love me...not Erica, but Eric, right?" Tiffany nodded; her face beginning to cool as the red glow on her cheeks began to ebb.

“I need to get going – I got a psych class at three at Essex Community. I’m doing well enough that they may accept me after junior year full-time.”

“Your Mom and Dad are raising two great kids, Eric. And we’re proud of you as well.” Eileen nudged Tiffany.

“Uh...yeah...me too.”

“Go to your friend and listen to what she has to say. The only thing you need to say besides sorry is to tell your friend you want to listen to her, okay?” Tiffany nodded and smiled through the tears that continued to fall. She was ashamed and embarrassed, but Eric instilled something in her that began to make the hurt ‘all better,’ as they used to say. She had broken the friendship she shared with Sandy and even with Mika, but something inside was growing that she could trust to help mend the rift. Tiffany had hope.

Naboo - not in Essex County...

“Do you think she knows?” Taradme looked at her sister and half frowned. Areleni stepped closer and whispered.

“As your Queen? Or much more? We can only hope, Taradme...just hope.”

It’s all up to you
There’s nothing no one else can do
Take charge of your life
And make sure you shine

Take it from me: not a lot in life comes easy
But I’m here to tell you something sure
You’ve gotta take charge, follow your head and your heart
You’ll be off to a real great start
Your strength and your belief will lead the way

To be concluded...

Luke and Leia
Composed by John Williams
from the motion picture
Return of the Jedi
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B807l72qZYI

Walking Strong
Words and music by ther performer.
Samantha Schultz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmKbxwOlhoc