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We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

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Part Five – Those Three Words

Previously…

“Cap says the feds are bringing her in….”

“I know….I know….”

At the precinct the next day…

Things were about as jumbled and mixed up for Darla as at any time in her life. She had been chasing down her dreams for years, but cautiously and without much hope. And now?

“They went to her place. It was tossed and there was no trace of her, Dar…” Alex shook his head; mostly in sympathy but also in fear for the woman in jeopardy. He put his hand on Darla’s shoulder.

“What…what if?”

“Let’s not go there just yet, Dar. Maybe she made like the wind, you know? She had to think something was up. The idiots over at NHS should have been in front of this after they figured out who her father was. But maybe they’ve got her on ice? You know they wouldn’t share anything with us even if it killed ‘em.”

“I know, but not… I’m so afraid.” Alex patted Darla on the back. If his partner was anything, it sure wasn’t afraid. She was maybe as brave as anyone he knew. But fear for the woman? And now with her mother as sick as she was? How the hell was she supposed to handle that as well?

“I called my pastor, and she’s got the prayer chain going for your mom.” Darla turned and frowned. She wanted to believe in miracles. Perhaps her allotment for miracles was used up when they reconciled? But even if that was the case, there was nothing she could do about it now. Either her mother was going to recover or not, and that was just too much to think about. She shook her head and put her hand to her face in shame. As if being human was somehow shameful.

“Hey, Farnetti? Break a nail?” Alex turned to see Marty Sipowitz standing at the end of the row of lockers with a very mean grin on his face. He took a step toward the guy when a hand reached out and stopped him.

“I got this, Al…. take care of our girl,” Lisa Kovic said before turning around.

“Am I supposed to be scared, Kovic. And you of all people,” Sipowitz laughed. Lisa smiled and shook her head.

“I’m a peaceable kind of gal, Sipowitz.” She might have been peaceable, although her Army Ranger training would have easily handled the fool. But she had technology on her side as well.

“You might want to rethink how stupid you’re being. Between me and a couple others, we’ve got you on our phones harassing Farnetti here. Now you could just keep it up and wait for IAD to tap you on the shoulder or you could just shut the fuck up and join the human race, you know?” She looked back over at Alex and Darla and smiled.

“You are now on notice, dickhead! You and Russell just stop the shit and we’ll all sing kumbaya at the next Christmas party."

“You wouldn’t!” Sipowitz said, looking only a bit smug. Russell had walked in at the beginning of the exchange and he put his hands up as if to say, ‘just kidding.’ Lisa held her phone up and grinned.

“All I have to do is hit ‘send’ and you and IAD will be stuck together like Velcro for a very long time.”

“You….wouldn’t….” He repeated; this time weakly. He turned to his partner in crime and Russell held his hands up once again.

“You’re on your own, Sip. Hey, Farnetti? No hard feelings?”

Darla wasn’t mad at either of them at that point, but the hurt of being betrayed by one of her own would leave things very difficult for some time to come. She smiled weakly and shook her head no.

“Just say the word, Sipowitz.” He eyed her phone.

“Don’t even try it. I already sent a copy to Papa Jerico and Stinson and Capaldi. We’ve got her back.” Sipowitz looked back and forth between her and Alex. Lisa was satisfied that he was sufficiently remorseful, but Alex stared at him and shook his head. Either way, the rest of the precinct for the most part indeed had Darla’s back.

Sipowitz nodded meekly and walked around the corner to his own locker. The loud slam of the locker door was followed by some mumbling and Russell’s voice.

“Fun’s fun, Sip, but Farnetti is one of us.”

“One of us? Maybe you, but not me."

Lisa was about to shout out an expletive when Russell practically shouted,

“You know, Sip? Kovic is right. You really are a dickhead…..” The locker room grew quiet until Capaldi’s voice came from the doorway.

“But you’re our dickhead, Sip….” His comment was accompanied by mock applause and Sipowitz walking back around. As he passed them he shrugged in defeat before walking out of the locker toom.

Lisa turned to Alex and nodded again.

“Like I said, take care of our girl, Al, ‘kay?” She reached across the bench and shook his hand; partners in protection in a way.

“You got it, Kovic!” Darla raised her head and smiled at the two. It was going to be hell for some time to come, but she realized in that moment that everything would be alright.

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

Neptune Diner, Astoria, Queens, NY, late afternoon….

Darla sat in the booth looking around nervously.

“I’m sorry we got yanked into a double, but DeGregorio’s over at the hospital holding her wife’s hand waiting for Helen Junior to make her first appearance.” Alex laughed.

“What a world to come into….” Darla’s voice trailed off.

“Hey, Dar. I know it’s hard, but you’re proof that the world is a good place, right? And your Aunt Jo? And your Mom finally…” He stopped in mid-sentence; fearing that the good of the reconciliation was still lost on the pain of Louise Farnetti’s impending demise.

“No, Alex…you’re right. I hate that she’s…..” Darla bit her lip as tears spilled off her chin into her coffee cup.

“But we would never…. I got my Mom back, Al, and I’m not going to stop fighting for her. Or….”

“No news is good news, right, partner?” Alex looked out the window; searching for words of comfort. Darla hardly knew Baseema, but it was clear as crystal that she had it bad.

“No news is just fucking no news, Al….” Darla snapped at him. He shook his head in apology but she reached across the table and patted his wrist.

“I’m sorry. She’s probably someplace safe….. I hope she’s okay, and that’s what matters the most.”

“No, Darla, that’s not what matters the most,” Alec said; his turn to disagree.

“You don’t have to explain or make excuses or anything, Dar. I understand.”

“Am I crazy, Al? Really. Tell me the truth. I’m fucking…..I’m crazy.”

“Crazy about a woman you hardly know?” He paused. No secrets between partners, right?

“I’ve got….I’ve got a crush on someone I hardly know, Darla. I…..I haven’t told anyone about her, and I can’t even say her name, but I know exactly how you feel.” He didn’t know exactly how Darla felt, but then again none of us can know that of another, but we can come close. Alex trusted Darla with everything, but he didn’t trust himself enough to tell her about the woman he had come to love just by one or two casual meetings and a handful of conversations about her with his partner.

“I know, Alex.” Darla was almost deadpan but for the tears in her eyes. Darla Farnetti cared about Alex just like a sister from another mother might. And she treasured his care and love as much as she treasured the care and love of the only other person who understood. It seemed almost fated that the two…. That the two might come together.

“You don’t know, Darla. I haven’t even told my own mother about her. I trust you, Darla, but I’m….” He turned away.

“Jeez, Al…I’m an officer in the New York Police Department. I see things and pay attention, just like you do; even when others miss the details entirely.” She paused and laughed softly.

“What’s so funny?”

“Not funny, Alex. Adorably cute. You are absolutely incapable of hiding your feelings. A closet Italian?”

“No way!”

“Way, bro. Every time I mention her name, I see the look in your eyes.”

Darla wondered, understandably, how a red-blooded, dyed in the wool he-man might be attracted to the woman in question. But she was almost selling her partner short. Alex Petrovic was straightforward and had integrity oozing out of his ears. Maybe it was because of who…. Maybe it was because Darla needed her own eyes open to the possibility of acceptance beyond herself. She sighed and smiled.

“She’s as good as it gets, Al…. I know it and you know it and I know that you know it, so stop hiding, okay”

“I’m not hiding…. I’m being ….prudent.”

“You’re not hiding….it’s pretty obvious, since you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it.” His life depended on it, alright. We may get to choose the person we date or even marry, but none of us gets to choose who we fall for. Alec hardly knew the woman in question and yet had it as bad for her as Darla had it for Beseema.

“No secrets, Al. Not just because we’re partners, but because you owe it to yourself to tell her exactly how you feel. I’m sure she can handle it.” It was Darla’s turn to look out the window, and she gazed in the general direction of where the woman might be at that moment. No secrets; now and from then on in. She turned back and smiled.

“You got her number?” Alex shook his head no, and Darla patted his wrist once again; this time in encouragement. She grabbed the small note pad and pen from her breast pocket and scribbled quickly.

“Her work number…. Her department, Al. And her home number. Give her a call, okay?”

“I don’t know what to say, Darla. Seriously. I have no fucking clue.”

“Okay. How about ‘Hello?’”

“You know what I mean,” he shook his head.

“I know, Al…I’m sorry. Let me tell her to at least expect a call? The rest is up to you, but for starters, just say, ‘hi?’” He shook his head nervously.

“You faced down guys with guns and stuff over there, Al. She understands. And she’ll understand now. Just tell her to give me a call if she has any questions,” Darla teased. Al’s face grew red and she patted his wrist for a third time.

“I’m sorry…. For real this time. She’s about as wonderful anyone I know, and if anyone deserves happiness it’s her,” she paused as tears came to her eyes once again.

“And I can’t think of anyone who can make her happy as much as you can, partner. I love her and I want the best for her, and right now? The best? Maybe the best for all time? It’s you, Officer Petrovic.”

“I…. don’t know what to say,” Al begged even as he blushed once again.

“Just say, “Excuse me? Would you like to go out for coffee or pizza? My treat?’”

“You don’t mind?” Al shook his head; so modest and even fearful as he completely missed Darla’s words for the past several minutes. Unworthy? Ashamed, even?

“You have every right in the world to be happy, Al, and she has every right to be happy, too. Call her, okay?” Al looked at Darla and then down at the piece of paper on the table.

“Jo Bianchi, RN, 718-932-1000, Emergency Medicine” and just below,

Jo Bianchi, 718-269-4107”

“You sure?” As in are you sure I’m good enough? Am I okay? Do you trust me?

“You’re my partner, and you both are my best friends. Go ahead, Al. Call her.” He sighed and she smiled again, patting his wrist for a fourth and final time.

“She’ll be fine, Al. And since I’m calling her when I get home? It’s more than okay, okay?” Darla looked down at her phone, anticipating her call to her aunt. As she went to pick it up, the familiar tones of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons startled her. She looked at the display. 718 area code, so it was either local or a cell. She tapped ‘receive’ softly.

“Hello?”

“Hello? May I… May I speak with Officer Farnetti?” Darla had only heard the voice a handful of times, but she recognized it immediately. Her heart skipped the metaphorical beat as she answered.

“This…this is Darla….Officer Farnetti…. Who is calling?” She knew already, but the woman spoke.

“This….We…. This is Baseema … Baseema Abdel-Salaam…..”

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

Next - Follow Me

Chasing Cars
All lyrics written by Gary Lightbody, all music composed by Gary Lightbody, Nathan Connolly, Tom Simpson, Paul Wilson and Jonny Quinn; from the band Snow Patrol
As performed by Sarah Bettens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW1z8uVTVyc