From Part One

Benyamin bowed slightly to the girl, who had yet to raise her head. He sighed and limped slowly out of the house and down the hill. Only then did the girl raise her head; only in time to see his figure disappear behind a bend in the path, but still in time to see the sun almost glint off of his nearly unkempt dark head of hair. It reflected into almost a halo before he disappeared from view. She sighed deeply and hugged herself tight; believing understandably that hers were the only arms that would ever hold her….

An Afternoon of Heartache

“What ….what di..did Benyamin …” The first words had no sooner escaped Adara’s lips when Simon cut her off,

“If it’s any concern to you,” he said; pausing with a look that was more than dismissive.

“He is coming to work for me.”

“He…Everyone says…he’s a good worker.”

“And for the money I will pay him, he will be a great worker.” Simon laughed. Adara put her head down.

“Now what?” His tone grew impatient in an instant; he had grown tired of accommodating her moods, if you could call them that.

“Wo..would you pay him more if…” She looked down at her own body; the connection between his lameness and her lack was completely lost on Simon.

“If he wasn’t lame, he would not be as desperate. What does that matter to you? It is none of your business,” he spat, completely missing the irony of his choice of words.

“Content yourself with being allowed to live under this roof, dear sister.” The favor he granted his sibling was certainly no favor at all. She looked around at all the work yet undone for the immensity of his demands. She grabbed a basket and walked to the door; her face turned away to hide her tears.

“I am going to the field. Devorah says that her father is allowing us to glean today.”

“Do not talk with anyone; if they learn you are my….they will make me pay for what you glean.” More than a caution, he was angry that she even brought it up; preferring instead to not consider what she had to say and do for him, much less for herself.

“You need to stay away from those girls…if they find out…” Adara’s ‘condition would likely be seen as a stoning offense had they not been under the ‘liberality’ of Roman rule. Nevertheless, if his sister was unmasked, so to speak, his business in town would be ruined and they would be forced to flee to parts unknown. But even worse was that he was completely and utterly shamed that he even permitted his former brother to continue the subterfuge. He glared at her with a disapproving smirk. She turned and caught his expression.

“Sss…Simon,” she began to cry, but pulled herself back and shook her head.

“I…feel….it is …y…you act like the Rabbi never ….” She paused and looked away before saying finally,

“I wish I was never born.” She glanced back at him before running out the door and out the door.”

And while Simon did resist the urge to shout at her in agreement, he did harbor those same feelings about her in his heart.

“Mother?” Benyamin called out as he entered his home.

“I’m right here, sweet child; you don’t have to shout!” Mara stepped close and greeted her son with a kiss on the cheek.

“Simon …I am going to work for him.” He half-smiled. They could use the help, since his bartering with the families in the community only went so far, and she was looked upon as ‘young’ and had a reasonably healthy son for support. She patted his cheek.

“You look so excited, o light of my life.” Benyamin completely missed his mother’s humor and spoke.

“Oh, yes mother….so happy!” She patted his cheek a little harder.

“You can’t lie to me, Benny…I’m your mother. It is…impossible.” She chuckled.

“What is so wrong in the midst of such welcome good news?” She stared at him with the same sympathetic love that cleaned a scraped knee or held him when children would tease him when he was little.

“Simon….Simon said that Adara… That she is not ready for marriage.” He sighed deeply. The young man would resist all the bullying in the world. He looked at his lameness as a challenge to seek the grace of his creator.

“Benny?” Just the mention of his name seemed to strengthen him; at least to where he could display his disappointment in safety.

“Does he know?” A conspiracy of two aimed at a well-intended if impossible outcome,

“No, and I wasn’t going to tell him. She deserves better, Mother. She didn’t ask…” His voice trailed off as he looked down at his feet.

“No more than you or I or your father, may his memory be a blessing. What was it that Rabbi had said?”

“That the man was born blind so…” He looked again at his feet.

“The works of his creator…your creator…Adara’s creator, bless that sweet innocent child…”

“Would be shown.” Benny lowered his head, almost ashamed of complaining. Mara squeezed both his hands.

“Then what we must do is pray that she and you are somehow blessed with the grace to live no matter what happens.” She half smiled, evoking a discouraged frown from her son.

“It’s not fair…” he protested even as the tears welled up in his eyes. If anyone had a right to complain it had to be Mara; a mother of a cursed child and a widow all too young. But her spirit and her heart belied her name; she was anything but bitter, and her faith gave her son hope even as she spoke to him.

“There will be justice in this world, but fair? No, my sweet boy. Life just is what it is. But we shall also pray for a miracle.”

“I would give every chance of being whole if it meant instead that Adara would know what it would be to be complete.”

“And don’t you think that He who created you knows that? No matter what happens, Benyamin, never give up hope.” She patted him on the cheek one last time.

“Come; sit and eat before you dinner gets any colder,” she laughed softly before turning back to serve the evening meal.

The following day...

Benny walked up to Simon’s shop and stepped halfway into the open doorway. Adara had just finished cleaning and was getting ready to leave. She hadn’t noticed Benny’s arrival, and with her head down slightly from the familiarity of the shop, she walked straight into him.

“P…please forgive m…me,” she said, putting her head down once again from embarrassment. Wanting to be kind, he cupped her chin softly with his hand and lifted her face. She looked into his eyes; eyes that once again offered her nothing but calm acceptance. She went to apologize once again, her head pulling away from his welcome touch. He stepped forward and pulled her close despite her attempts to flee. She struggled in his grasp and he released her.

“N…no….” She turned and stepped close to the wall by the doorway. Leaning against it, she began to sob. Between his need to be a comfort and his desire to love her despite her own ‘infirmity,’ he was unable to resist the helpless and hopeless girl. He stepped close once again and embraced her softly from behind.

And years of feeling less that whole; a lifetime of self hatred and shame began to fall away as she welcomed his embrace. She buried her face in his chest and gave way to the strength of his arms as she recalled the unconditional acceptance of the teacher who had named her so long ago. Her sobs shook Benyamin but he held her close; his body the refuge she desperately needed. But an angry voice came from the doorway.

“I give you a job and this is the thanks to give in return.” Simon stood with his arms at his side; his fists balled in rage. He strode quickly to the two and pulled them apart; casting his friend out through the doorway onto the path. Benny stood up and went to speak.

“It isn’t what you think…”

“Don’t you dare presume to tell me what I think. You’re a cripple…less than a man! Your whole family is cursed.”

“But Simon…” Benny tried, but Simon would not let him explain.

“Leave…I have no use for you!” His glare and the pounding of his right fist on his left hand gave Benny little hope that things would ever be good again. He wiped the tears from his dusty face and limped away quickly down the hill. Simon turned to face Adara. Whatever had happened, a transformation of sorts took place, if only for a split second. She stood taller than she ever had and spoke perhaps clearly for the first time in her life.

“YOU…you had no right to treat him that way. He is your best friend and he deserved better.” Simon stood for a few seconds; shocked at her reply. But without thought at all, he allowed his own demanding, unreasonable anger to take over. She went to speak again but he stepped close enough to where he could see the pleading in her eyes and struck her in the face with the back of his hand.

“You….our father named you…rightly. You have been sickly all your life, Mahlon,” he practically snarled the name as a curse.

“I can’t stand the sight of you!”

She rose timidly to her feet; her face assuming the all-too familiar expression of shame; now altered slightly to once again welcome the hopeless despair that had been abandoned all too briefly. She staggered to the door; still reeling from the strike to her face now coupled with a torrent of tears that practically blinded her. She looked back at him; never remotely deserving the arrogant dismissal, she nevertheless took ownership of all the blame for his behavior, saying at last,

“I hate myself….I wish….I…waah……were deh….dead.”

“So do I,” he yelled as she walked through the door and was gone.

It had grown dark almost too early in a way. Simon had been crying; some remorse, perhaps, but mostly self-pity over his own loss. As he lit the lamp on the table a tall figure stood at the door; bathed from behind by moonlight. Efraim ben Abram stood holding a frail twisted figure; his tears fell upon the girl's face

“Simon….your sister….they said she was walking aimlessly…not looking…Roman horsemen…didn’t see..” He choked back a sob. Simon stood up but seemed to be frozen; just staring at his friend.

“Simon? SIMON! Don’t you understand? Adara is dead!”

Finally: A Morning of Miracles