Jacilynn was trying very hard to keep her emotions down today. The minutes slipped by far to fast for her. Although their regular school had let them out for the holidays yesterday today Jaci and Dottie were attending the Barbie Princess Charm School meeting.

Dottie was thrilled to be wearing her 'magic' dress for the whole day. Even though it really was just a copy of the famous Barbie movie uniform. Not the one at the end but the standard one at the beginning. Jaci wore a simular outfit. The plaid skirt with the small sash of the same material as the skirt but the pattern was at a contrasting angle.

The white silk blouse with its tiny pearl buttons and puffy short sleeves hidden under a purple vest that hugged her every curve. Jacilynn and Dottie were dressed identically to their class of 33 other girls all in matching uniforms. Most wore their hair like Jacilynn did with a small scrunchie holding a small section of hair in a tail on one side. Others such as Dottie whose hair was shorter had an assortment of hairstyles reminiscent of the movie. Dottie looked more like Portia if she was a blond.

Jaci had even asked Dottie to hold her book above her head and walk a bit as a bit of a tease. As an icebreaker it got everyone in class to giggle as Dottie could not keep a straight face.

For most of the day the two girls had spent it learning how to walk like a lady, dance like a lady, and talk like a lady. Now they were trying to have tea like a lady. Most of the classes were easy for Jaci and she did not know why. Dottie seemed to struggle with some of the classes such as walking. Jaci could balance 3 books easy while Dottie only had the one on her head for a minute or two before it fell. Some of the other girls couldn't even do that so she was not alone.

Jaci tried to keep her emotions in check but as the day wore on she would snap at people for no reason. She got admonished more than once by the snobby teacher for her behavior. Dottie for the most part looked at her with concerned eyes. She did ask once but Jaci brushed her off, perhaps a bit rudely.

As the day wore on there was time to mingle and Jaci found a place of silence to herself to reflect. She knew what was coming. It had happened last year and the year before that. She knew in her heart it was not really her fault but what was going to happen would make her lose the small family that really seemed to actually see her. It had happened before twice now. It hurt as it made Christmas a stiffed or painful affair for Jaci.

As she though back she had not really ever had a real Christmas that she could ever recall being as fun and joyful as others made it out to be. What was the fun of being given a stupid boys suit with the too small neck choking her? What was the fun in scratchy itchy socks and pants that you were forced to wear all day long while other girls your age or younger got to wear such pretty dresses that looked so fun and comfortable to wear?

Before long the break was over and she had to join the other girls in the large classroom now devoid of any desks and music being pumped in. It was a classical music that the teachers wanted them to learn to waltz to. They showed each of the girls how to step, how to move, how to swing. It was actually a very good workout. However if she heard another"Glide just like Jacilynn does" She would scream.

She was not the girl everyone seemed to believe she was. She should not be used as an example. It was wrong all wrong. She twirled to her left.

"Young man that is not for you! Only girls wear dresses and you are a boy!" she heard her mother say to her with that yelling whisper. She twirled to the right and skipped like a swan. A tear running down her cheek.

She could still see the cute dresses sitting on their little padded hangers at the store. All she had done was stop to touch the enticing fabric between her fingers. Her mother had grabbed her arm painfully and dragged her over to the mean man with the stupid suits.

"How many f**king times do we have to go through this shit*Blank* Your my god***m son and you will be a man when you grow up! Enough of this girly nonsense. Come here!her father pointed to his knee with that huge hand of his. She shouldn't have run but she did. She ran to hide under her bed in her room. Crying as she was right now. She could still feel the rough hands on her bare arm as he yanked her out from under the bed with enough force to snap her small wrist against the bed's box spring.

"Jacilynn! That's enough you can stop dancing now.. are you okay sweetie?" The concerned voice of the teacher that had inadvertently grabbed the same wrist that was broken 3 years before. She let out a smile cry of pain and the woman dropped her wrist like it was molten lead.

"It's nothing. I just got a little to involved in the lovely dance." Jaci tried to lie her way out of it as she felt the tears on her cheek.

"Are you sure? If there is something you want to talk about I'm willing to listen." Listen. Her parents had said they would listen but they never did no matter how many times she had tried to explain what she could only feel. They told her she was wrong or confused.

"Yes. I'm fine really see." And she put on a smile just for the teacher. The teacher hesitated for a moment before she smiled her own smile and patted her shoulder before walking away. It had taken an enormous effort to not flinch at the patting.

Dottie looked at Jaci with eyes far older than she from across the room. Jaci finger waved to her sister hoping she could pull it off. Dottie waved back but her face was still stone.

The trip home Jaci fretted in the front car seat looking out the window the whole time not seeing anything. She couldn't look to the family she had grown to love knowing the small ugly part of her was growing. She would loose them just as surely as she had lost the love of all the others before them. If she looked she would burst into tears at the pain of the loss that was sure to come.

Once back at home with Tante Drea the two girls had sat through a tough dinner. It was pizza and both girls usually enjoyed it. Drea could sense there was trouble of some sort with both girls but not what. They talked but it was emotionless explanations of what had happened that day.

When they had finished two pieces each the girls help Tante dispose of the paper plates and napkins. Jaci had wiped down the kitchen table while Dottie checked the counter. The leftovers were put into the fridge for the next day.

Dottie retreated to her room to practice more of the dancing she had had trouble with while Jaci watched for a few minutes. The more Dottie danced the more Jaci started to get angry. She didn't say anything but her face more than showed it even if Dottie didn't notice. Jaci fled Dotties room. The pain was growing along with an anger she had not had for a very long time. The anger grew as Jaci stomped down the hallway to her own room. Once inside she opened the door to her closet and got really angry at all the girly finery there. She pulled it all out bending a few hangers in the process.

They were all wrong! Boys did not , could not wear this stuff! Her wrist felt limply to her side as she pulled open the drawers of her dresser and removed all the girly stuff in there as well. It wall went into the pile of discusting stuff on the floor. Her once broken wrist was twitching and spasming as her heart pounded harder and harder as the anger and adrenaline built.

Jaci snarled as she removed the clothes she was wearing and threw those on the floor near the bed. She pulled all the fluffies and the bedcovers onto the floor as well. She was angry and couldn't think straight anymore. She was a boy and shouldn't be allowed in such a room. Bad boys like her did not wear nice clothes. Bad boys like her did not play with dolls. Bad boys did not do fun things.

Standing naked she pulled the one male item in her room a pair of jeans too small for her and held them to her heaving breasts. Her angry turned and she let out a bone jarring howl of pain. Then everything went blank greys to her.