The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1639 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“I don’t wanna go to hell,” cried the little voice.

I listened again, “I don’t wanna go to hell, don’t send me to hell, I’m a good girl, don’t send me...” I was out of bed and into the girl’s room in seconds, stubbing my toe on the leg of a bed as I went, I cursed quietly and went to Trish’s bed.

She was fast asleep and her face was wet with tears. I stroked her head and spoke quietly to her, afraid the others would wake up, but they seemed to be asleep.

“Trish, this is, Mummy, just rest my baby, no one is going to hurt you or send you anywhere you don’t want to go. I’ll be here to protect you, no matter what, so just sleep and think of Mummy and Daddy being there to protect you.”

She sighed and said, “Mummy,” then seemed to relax and went back to sleep. I took my cold feet and hands back to bed but resisted the urge to shove them against Simon’s toast-like body.

“What was all that about ?” he asked and yawned.

“Oh the girls were talking with one of the older nuns and she told them all gays and transvestites were going to hell.”

“So, she’s neither of those.”

“I know but she’s got it into her head because she started life as a boy, she will go to hell when she dies.”

“If she does, she’ll confuse the hell out of the devil, like she does with us.”

“Simon, I told her there were no heavens or hells except in this life. I’ll speak with Sister Maria tomorrow and ask her to moderate such comments from her elderly staff.”

“God you’re cold, come ’ere, girl,” he engulfed in a gigantic cuddle and I soon warmed up again and fell asleep lying on my tummy on top of him–well partly across him, my legs were still on the bed. Of course, when we woke up neither of us could move for a few minutes, but I wasn’t cold.

I got up as soon as the radio came on–well as soon as I could actually move any of my limbs and my back which was as stiff as anything. It took a hot shower to restore basic movement helped by the fact that Simon followed me into the warm water. What we did in there–well–I can only say I was glad the kids were still in bed. We are married after all.

It sure loosened me up–and you can take that any way you like, I meant the shower of course. After drying myself and dressing, I called the girls to get up and supervised while they all showered. I then combed and dried their hair and did a single plait for all three of them, with a green ribbon tied in a bow at the end. I left them to get dressed whilst I went down to start preparing breakfasts.

Jacquie came down and I asked her to call Danny and Julie, who were usually down by this time. She returned a few moments later–they went back to sleep.

“You look better this morning,” I said.

“I feel much better today, must be this all-loving household. Did I hear one of the children cry in the night?”

“Yeah, Trish had a bad dream after what one of the nuns said to her.”

“Oh ... hell and damnation stuff?”

“Spot on–silly old trout. How anyone can believe all that shit is beyond me.”

“It’s easier than thinking, until you’re on your death bed, then you hope you go the right way ignorant of the fact that by being self righteous you’ve probably crapped on everyone below you and stepped on necks while climbing the ladder to heaven. I was a catholic–but the way they treated me–I’d rather burn in hell than be with them.”

“That sounds pretty definite.”

“It was one of their priests who raped me–several times–then told me I’d go to hell if I told anyone. When I got pregnant, they had to take notice of me–then had the nerve to send me to confession to seek forgiveness for the termination. I nearly died.”

“Oh you puir wee soul,” I said totally and unselfconsciously unaware of lapsing into Lallans.

“You are Scottish, aren’t you?”

“Sort of–look out, here come the light brigade.” The girls came rushing down demanding food with menaces. I told them we didn’t have any menaces and they’d have to toast and cereal as usual.

I waited while the girls went into school and then went in search of Sister Maria–she was off sick–did I want to see the deputy head. I decided I didn’t but asked if Sister Maria could phone me when she came back to work.

I went home via Morrison’s and filled up with fuel, and the boot of the car with food. Sometimes I think I could do with one of those articulated lorries calling at our place once a week because it seems I spend much of my life carrying that amount of food back and fore throughout the week.

Jacquie helped me put it away and she brought the baby down for me to feed, bathing her and changing her after I’d finished being sucked dry. I only feed her twice a day now from the breast, the rest of the time she has solids and seems to be growing quite well. She’s going to be tall by the looks of her and she’s such a happy wee soul.

She plays with her little dolls and her teddies–she has about seven of them and she loves me to read to her. I suppose it won’t be long before I can put her in with the other girls, until the older ones become self conscious as puberty awakens in them.

Trish woke again that night calling in her sleep about going to hell, this time she ended up in bed with us, it was the only way I could get her to stop crying. Thankfully, Simon is so tolerant of all this stuff and he went off to sleep again quite quickly, it was I who struggled for two bloody hours.

The next morning, I once again went in search of the headmistress and had she still been sick I’d have gone in search of the nun with the medieval views on religion, who would feel at home with the Taliban–something I was working myself up to tell her.

Maria was there, so she took the brunt of my anger and apologised, she would speak to Trish and sort things out. I did say that were I to meet said nun, I would give her a piece of my mind in very plain English. Sister Maria asked me to let her deal with it. She looked all in, with dark rings under her eyes.

“Are you sure you’re well enough to come back to school?” I asked her.

“I’ll be alright,” she said almost collapsing in front of me. I went out and told the secretary to hold all her calls until I came back to her. Then I went back to the headmistress and zapped her for twenty minutes–she nodded off during the session but woke up feeling much better.

“I really don’t know how you can do that and then deny the existence of God?”

“Quite easily,” I smiled at her and she shook her head. I took my leave and went to add to John Lewis profits via Waitrose.