(aka Bike) Part 1714 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad
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I think I might have actually met a woman who didn’t like shopping, mind you it would be worth doing a chromosome test on them. Having said that, food shopping is boring, or can be, too much like the hunter gatherer bit; whereas shopping for clothes or books or most of all–shoes–is fun. I suspect I probably have the shopping gene, which is probably sexed linked.
We set off down the drive and I edged out into traffic, Sam sat with her eyes wide open in an expression of pure terror. “Relax, my driving’s not that bad, is it?” In which case you should see my putting.
“I’ll never be able to do this, I’ll die, I just know it.”
“Rubbish–but if you do, we could have the first ever suspect case of shopping allergy.” I was trying to keep it light and dismally failing.
“Shopping allergy?” she looked at me and began to chortle, “That is so dumb.”
“Huh,” I huffed, “Dumb eh? At least I’m not afraid to buy the clothes I wear.”
“I buy mine, too.”
“How often?”
“When I need them.”
“So two pairs of knickers and two pairs of jeans, three or four tee shirts and a pair of trainers–right?”
“Something like that.”
“That was when you were living as a boy. You’re out as a girl now–so just think about all those delicious things you wanted to wear and couldn’t–now you can, not only that, but you might find that someone else is happy to pay for some of them.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Why not, if it gives me pleasure?”
“I don’t understand.”
“One of the joys of being a parent is spoiling those I look after. For the moment you’re included in that group.”
“But it’s not right.”
“Why not?”
“You’re not responsible for me.”
“I’m your female coach–right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, I’m responsible for you.”
“No you’re not, you’re my guide and mentor.”
“And temporary fashion consultant. Right now, sit still and shut up. We’re going to Asda because they have some reasonable clothes at reasonable prices–this doesn’t mean you don’t deserve better, but it gets you a basic wardrobe which you can dump a year or two down the line when you know what your style is and can buy better quality. Okay?”
“I understand the reasoning.”
“Good.”
“I don’t necessarily agree.”
“Tough. How many pairs of panties have you got?”
“Not sure, half a dozen probably.”
“Okay, here we are. Grab a trolley–don’t forget your bag and don’t leave it where it can be stolen.”
“Yes, Mummy,” she said sarcastically, I just glowered back which made her smirk.
“Just you remember I’m the only thing that’s stopping you getting arrested.”
“Why, we’re not breaking the law–are we?”
“No, but without me here you’d spend the whole time looking suspicious.”
She thought for a moment–“Oh, I see what you mean.”
“Just push the trolley but don’t let go of your bag.”
We started off with me pulling out a tape measure and measuring her, she was about a size 10 in UK sizing, which for someone with a male body is quite skinny. I’m a twelve occasionally fourteen. Don’t ask me what that is US sizing, Americans are weird when it comes to measuring things–just look at a billion.
We looked at panties and I chucked two packets of five into the trolley, then three bras–thirty two A. Three tops two skirts and a pair of trousers followed. We got some jeans and some shorts. On the way to the changing rooms, I put another skirt and a jacket into the trolley and grabbed another top as we walked past.
You’re only allowed so many things in the cubicle at once, so we had to do it in relays. Sam stayed in the cubicle while I took things through and either put them in the trolley or handed them to the girl to be placed back on the racks.
We got about half of the things we tried, then it was time to try some shoes: a pair of black flats, a pair of sandals with a low wedge heel, a pair of court shoes with a two inch heel and a pair of slippers. She looked longingly at a pair of shoes with sky scraper heels.
“Go on then, try them,” I dared.
“I’ll never walk in them.”
“Not without practice you won’t. Look.” I grabbed some in my size slipped them on and walked up and down.
“You make it look so easy.”
“I’ve had some practice–but I’ll tell you this for nowt, if you wear them any length of time, you’ll have sore toes and feet.”
“P’raps I’ll leave them for now.”
“Try them,” I insisted and she walked with difficulty, but after a few steps she wasn’t doing too badly. They went with the other stuff.
Then we got a cheap watch and some earrings–she already had pierced ears, which boys can do these days. We got a weatherproof jacket and an umbrella and she liked a handbag so I got it for her from the girls.
We bought some smellies including some eau de toilette, some shampoo and antiperspirant. Makeup would have to wait, as we had to hurry to pay for it all and then off to collect the girls.
“I’ll pay you back, Cathy, I honestly will.”
“With what?”
“When I graduate I’ll get a job.”
“What year are you in?”
“Year one.”
“And how long is your degree?”
“Um–four years if I do the masters.”
“D’you realise how many clothes you’ll need in four years?”
“Um–not really.”
“We’ve got about enough to last you for a week if you were away on holiday. Damn we didn’t get any tights.”
“Oh–I thought this was just to get me through my first couple of months in transition?”
“Sammi, you’re going to need three or four times that to get through a month, let alone a whole term. Those things however, will need to be better quality, you’ll need a couple of smart casual things in case some boy wants to take you out for a date.”
She nearly died–“I can’t go out on a date,” she almost squealed.
“Okay, we’ll save on the nun’s habit or your free time wear.”
She stood by the car as we loaded all her stuff into the boot. I’d spent over three hundred pounds and this was the second or third time I’d done this, however, I had a better feeling that this was the right thing to do than I ever did with Caroline.
“I can’t believe someone has just spent all that money on me.”
I pinched her on the arm. “Ouch.”
“You’re not dreaming, the nightmare has begun–c’mon, get in the car, we have to collect three monkeys. We were early approaching the school, so I stopped at a corner shop and bought three pairs of tights.
“How can you afford to spend like that on a relative stranger?”
“I have a good feeling about you.”
“You hardly know me.”
“I can get any sort of check run on you I wish–my husband is a very wealthy and powerful man. I’m financially reasonably off, so I can afford to indulge my whimsy if I wish–that it benefits you is a useful side effect.”
She sat totally shell shocked. When the girls came back I asked them if they minded if we went to John Lewis to get Sam some makeup, they were very happy to come along–the shopping gene strikes again.
Comments
US/UK sizing
Subtract 4 from UK sizing to get US sizing. And believe it or not, the US has a size double zero. UK stops at 4 which is US zero. I suspect that in another 5 to 10 years, US sizes will drop some more. So, present size 8 US (UK 12) will end up at size 4. The manufacturer's here do that so that the women here really do think that they are still the same size they were when they were younger. Future quote: "I wore a size 8 in 2012 and I still wear a size 8 in 2022." When most likely that person is now 20 pounds heavier.
I once made the mistake
of purchasing some nice clobber in H & M on (I think) 5th Avenue. Surpise, surpise it didn't fit and there wasn't time to exchange it as I had a flight booked from Newark.
Taught me a lesson.
Susie
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1713
She has been adopted by the girls.
May Your Light Forever Shine
The shopping gene.
Just remember girls.
Shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist!
Still loving it Ang.
OXOXOX
Bev.
Hmmm, so I am a UK 10 or 8 depending on the item
At least I know what size to buy when I am in Blighty again. I wear a 36B bustenhalter so I take the 10 up top. I have narrower hips so I take smaller genes but it is about a 10 uk come to think of it.
I think Cathy's little protege is a bit shell shocked at the moment. Reading about Caroline made me think of Jenny also, and all I can say is what a stupid pair they are.
Kim
36
Would make you a size 14 in the UK.
Angharad
Nope
I am about 34.5 inches in the bust and I take a US 6 (a true US 6, not one of those inflated or 'designer' ones people bandy about) in most things. I take a 36B bra because I am 29 inches under the bust, so calculating for band size yields a 36 band and a B cup bra, or maybe a slightly small B. Now I wish I could be a 34C but I am slightly thicker in the chest. In the junior miss department ( where all the cute T-shirts are :) ) I usually take a medium or US 7/8 as this is junior miss sizes after all. Due to my slightly narrower hips, I take junior miss in that area too since I am not voluptuous, more lean and waifish I guess but not anorexic.
In any case my understanding is that the rule of thumb is subtract to sizes and when I googled the conversion chart, a size 10 UK is a 34 in the bust and I find that works for me most of the time in US sizes as there is always an allowance for proportions. Sadly there is never any consistency in sizing, especially for designer clabber where they subtract another two sizes to stroke your ego as you have to pay so much. Recently I was able to get ( well with a good long line bra ) into a US size 2 designer. And another year, a US size 4 designer prom gown I thought I could never get into based on the size chart. So designers lie. Who knew???? *shrug*.
Now, if one were to go back to sizing from the 1980s ( the 1968 size chart really), well then that is a horse of a different color. Back then, yes I would be a US 12 or 14 based on size charts as I was heavier so that would make it comparable with the current British 12 or 14. Sadly these days for me to buy pants is a real pain since I swim in a department store misses's size 6 and I am not the thinnest in the waist in the world either. I can hear the crocodile tears even from here but I am not complaining, or bragging, just sharing the reality of clothing sizing, especially if you buy clothes in foreign countries.
Kim
Women Hunter Gatherers
I often remark to other women and some men that when men express that primal hunter gatherer gene, they are usually tracking an animal, but when women do it, we call it "SHOPPING"! That is how we "hunt". Hugs and love, Cindy
Well, not allergic...
Well, my wife's not ALLERGIC to shopping... She's just not happy to be around large crowds... And, after a while, she get sensory overload. And, shopping with our two daughters can be daunting! My wife's much more likely to want to do her shopping in 2-3 hour (max) bursts. :-)
A mentor is an awesome thing... A "LOCAL" mentor is even more valuable!
As to sizing on this side of the pond... For a few years (back in the '80s) they tried to be a little "uniform" but now. The same person can wear anything from a 10 to a 14 or a 14 to a 18... Been there, done that. Even from the same "brand" sizes can vary A LOT.
Thanks for sharing,
Annette
Clothes and sizing
I have enough trouble just trying to keep up with US sizes, without throwing in the UK sizing. But I do agree that fit can vary in different sizes, even from the same manufacturers. A USA size 18 generally fits real well, but I have three business suits from Metrostyle (the old Lerner's)in a 14 tall are a wonderful fit, and a real nice $100.00 polka dotted knee length dress that I got on Clearance from Dillard's for about $7.00 that is also a wonderful fit.
Oh I almost forgot, the party dress is a 14W Womens Petite - the hem even falls below my knees when I sit down.
+VOTE+ +VOTE+
Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?
Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm
When Cathy mentioned that she could get any
sort of check, I thought about the blue light check. Surprised she hasn't gotten "feelings" just from being near or touching Sam.
I'd expect....
I'd expect it's one of two things...
1) Now a days she has to be more active in trying to use "power" (Not sure if this is true or not...)
2) There's nothing "wrong" with Sam that needs "fixed" by the power...
I just hope Sam's not just a "set-up"... To get Cathy in trouble. A well coached lad might be able to pull it off... The question would be who/why... I think I'd prefer to find Sam's what "she" seems to be.
Thanks,
Annette
frankly.
To avoid disappointments I now try everything on now before buying. It's never been a problem for me in the last three years in the UK, especially in the big retail stores. AND I DO NOT 'PASS@!
When over in the states I'll do the same in future if I'm en-femme. I always ask anyway, before entering the changing rooms and if they refuse, they'll lose my custom. I find that even small private retail stores are keen to make a sale these days and if I'm clean and presentable they'll accept my request.
When I say 'clean and presentable' I'll explain.
I shop at a local clothing chain called ALYANA's quite regularly and they know me in Neath,Bridgened, Swansea and of course Cardiff.
Now I cycle regularly to these towns and often stop by for a coffee and a browse around the shops but of course when cycling I'm always hot and glowing. (It's gentlewoman's term for girly-sweat.) I cycle in girly lycra but even so I'm still hot and sticky.
The Alyana girls all know me cos' I often buy when en-femme so they will often agree to put a garment aside for me to try on at the weekend.
Shopping is humungous fun. I'm a size 12 Brit in open top stretchy frocks and 14 if the frock has a collar and or sleeves. (Sadly I've still got boyish shoulders.) Consequently in jackets and coats I'm 14 to 16.
As I said before, for us tee-girls, retail-therapy is infinitely more cost effective than psychotherapy.
Happy shopping Cathy.
OXOXOX
Bev.
After the shopping...
...will (almost inevitably) come the fashion show, as the three monkeys persuade / cajole Sammi into showing off her new clothes...
...poor Sammi, she doesn't have a clue about what's going to hit her when she arrives home :D
Then when she returns to lectures, there's a chance she may get adopted into the friendship circles of some of the girls on the course - IT isn't as male dominated as stereotypes would lead you to believe (my team at work - managing / maintaining / developing / upgrading a social care information management system - has a F:M ratio of 10:3).
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
C'mon Sam
you will soon find out (if you haven't already!) that when Cathy gets a bee in her bonnet its best not to stand in her way.. Anyway like she has already mentioned she can afford it ,So whats not to enjoy, Believe me the sort of offer Cathy made does not happen that often, So enjoy it while you can girl :)
Kirri
The Scottish gene
is strong in Cathy, but so is her compassionate side. She has found someone that reminds her before Stella got ahold of her, and is paying it forward.