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(aka Bike) Part 1696 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad
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I drove home wondering how I’d deal with Tom when he came home bearing gifts. Realising we’d probably both made fools of ourselves, I determined to make him a special dinner and involve all the children.
I told Jacquie that Tom and I had had a misunderstanding and that I was going to make him a special dinner. She seemed to think it was a good idea and agreed to keep an eye on Catherine while I was busy in the kitchen. Then I had a brainwave and dashed off in the car to Waitrose after checking they had what I wanted.
I was out for less than an hour and dashed upstairs to change out of my work clothes and into my ‘round the house’ clothes consisting of jeans and a shirt with a sweatshirt on top of it—I tend to feel the cold a bit these days.
I followed the instructions for cooking the menu I’d chosen and got things organised. I’d never cooked this particular meal before so it was a little daunting, however, as they say, it’s the thought that counts, thus I pressed on.
For a dessert I did a simple fruit salad and cream—lots of chopping and peeling, but relatively easy otherwise. I had to stop midway and collect the children from school, briefing the girls on the way home that they had to be nice to their grandad because he and I had had a misunderstanding.
They all agreed they would be extra nice to their grandad and try not to squabble or make too much noise. Simon called and informed me he’d be late home; when I told him what I was cooking he told me not to keep any for him as he hoped he’d have a meal before his meeting.
I told Stella what I was cooking but she told me she was going out with Gareth and Jacquie had agreed to babysit for her with Julie. I told her that I hoped it included looking after my little one too. She was sure it did—a likely tale. Stella is entirely focused on getting what she wants and that meant dolling up to go out. She’s a very attractive woman and knows how to make the best of herself, so she’d be extremely well turned out tonight.
Tom arrived home carrying a huge bouquet of flowers of all types and descriptions and also a box of sweets, which I’d share later with the kids—they all like Quality Street. “These ’re fa ye,” he handed them over to me and I nearly fell over, the bunch was so big. The sweeties were Quality Street, and I knew the girls especially would squabble over the ones they liked. Danny liked them all so he’d eat whatever they left.
I had a bottle of wine breathing on the table and Trish and Livvie squabbling knocked it over the contents covering the whole table top. I was still dealing with receiving the bouquet when the brawling pair rolled in and hit the table. I was furious, Daddy and I were trying to have a serious conversation when it happened and I just exploded with fury, sending both girls to their beds.
“Cathy, ye canna dae that, it wis jes’ high spirits.”
“Daddy, please don’t undermine my authority,” I insisted and he walked away to his den. So far the evening was falling as flat as a lead pancake.
I cleared up the mess from the wine, which stinks. I then went and apologised to him for being short with him. “It’s no me ye need tae speak tae, but thae bairns ye shooted at.”
I didn’t think I could deal with any more grief tonight so I asked Jacquie to call the girls down. I sat and talked with them for a few minutes reminding them that they had promised to be good and then done the exact opposite. I also pointed out that the bottle of wine had cost me ten pounds, so they had wasted good food and drink.
They both sobbed and apologised and I told them it was okay providing they behaved from now on, if not they’d be in bed very early for the next week. I sent them off to wash their faces and comb each other’s hair. When they came back, I asked them to go and get Tom as I was serving dinner.
I had just drained off the main course and placed it on a plate as Tom came into the kitchen.
“Whit’s that?” he asked.
“Haggis, Daddy, I got it specially for you?”
“Whit?” he gasped.
“I wanted to give you a special dinner tonight to apologise for this afternoon.”
He grimaced, “I dinna like it, I only eat it on Burns Nicht oot o’ duty, and thae uisgebeatha kills thae taste efterwards.”
“Oh,” I said and felt my bottom lip begin to tremble. I was so close to running up to my bed and staying there for the duration. I felt my eyes begin to fill.
“I’m only jokin’, it’s ma favourite,” he said holding me at the upper arms, “thank ye fa sich thochtfulness.”
I had an urge to bash him on the head with the large pan I’d been using to boil the haggis, I was so confused now—did he like it and had he been pulling my leg or did he hate it and pretend to like it to spare my feelings?
“Daddy, I thought we’d stopped playing these wind up games.”
“Aye yer richt, I’m sae sorry.” He hugged me and I burst into tears. I went out into the drive in the rain and calmed down before coming in and serving the meal, haggis with neeps and tatties.
Tom ate his share of the haggis, joking with the girls about how they hunted them in Scotland, and how difficult it was to catch them and then to pluck them.
“Pwuck them? Queried Meems.
“Aye, wi’ tweezers, ain hair at a time—taks all nicht, an’ only wi’ a full moon.”
“Don’t be siwwy, Gwamps.”
“It’s true,” he protested but Trish told her sister he was joking, it was a sheep’s innards minced and mixed with oatmeal before being tied in the stomach and boiled.
“Sheepses innawds, yucky,” exclaimed Meems and threw up all over the table and over Trish who screeched and dashed up to the bathroom to decontaminate herself.
While Jacquie and Tom watched the rest of the kids, I checked on Trish who was practically hysterical and vowing revenge upon her sister.
“Now just hold on there, young lady, whose fault is it she was sick?”
“Not mine,” she replied.
“I see, so the graphic description of what a haggis was isn’t in anyway related to causing Mima to be sick?”
“No, it was Gramps’ fault, if he hadn’t told her a fib, I wouldn’t have had to tell her what it really was.”
“Were you telling her because you thought that Gramps was winding her up or to show how clever you were?”
She went bright red and spluttered the former was correct. I told her to wash herself and get dressed for bed.
“I’m not going to bed, Mummy, it’s far too early,” she said with indignation.
“I didn’t say you were, but any more of that, young lady, and you’ll be in bed before you know what day it is. Now wash and change and behave—final warning, okay?”
She was about to challenge me and backed down, went very red and with her eyes glistening with tears she nodded and apologised.
I gave her a little hug then went down to clean up the mess. By the time Simon came home I was in bed and asleep, glad to conclude a dreadful day and night.
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Comments
Somehow, I knew what it was going to be
Cathy tried so hard, and the little bairns made a mess out of it. It goes back to this teasing thing, and it's the adults' fault. They are going to have to start setting better examples.
Portia
feel so bad for Cathy
She tries so hard to be a good wife, daughter, mother, teacher, protector, healer, .... and sometimes the universe is just against her. Would be so sweet if one or more of the children suddenly got sensitive for even an hour and worked at comforting their mom. Maybe Jacquie is the one that will come from since she's been through so much herself and certainly will understand Cathy's disappointment.
ahe joys of parenthood.
Rent a Trish now while they know everything, but don't have the sense to keep their mouth shut.
S.
Like!
and so true
well....
different to say the least. I'm not surprised by the outcome at all. I'm surprised they tried it at all.
Whats that they
say about the best laid plans of mice and men (or maybe that should be dormice and women)often go awry... Well they certainly did for Cathy tonight, Maybe a simple microwave meal for all might have been a lot easier... But as they also say its the thought that counts and Cathy was full of the best intentions even if did all go a little pear-shaped...
Kirri
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1696
Here in America, it is snipes that are hunted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snipe_hunt
A snipe hunt is one of a class of practical jokes that involve experienced people making fun of newcomers by giving them an impossible or imaginary task.
Inexperienced campers or hunters are told about a bird or animal called the snipe, as well as a (usually ridiculous) method of catching it - such as running around the woods carrying a bag, or making strange noises. Since the supposed snipe doesn't exist, the hunt never succeeds, no matter how foolishly the newcomer acts.
To extend the joke, there actually is a species of bird called a snipe. The success of the joke depends in part on the victim's ignorance of this, as the snipe is found primarily in wetlands and the joke is invariably played in wooded areas.
Another variation of this type of practical joke, called a fool's errand in the UK, involves sending newcomers on a work site to fetch nonexistent tools, such as a left-handed screwdriver, a can of striped paint or a tube of elbow grease.
In the Boy Scouts of America it is common for first-time attendees at a camporee (a large weekend event) to be sent after a "left-handed smoke-shifter," supposedly a branch with a fan on the end used to deflect smoke from a campfire. In the Air Force a variant involves new airmen being sent to the commissary to purchase a bottle of prop wash.
A traditional variation of this in UK schools involves a teacher sending a pupil�usually picked for being annoying as much as for gullibility�to another teacher for "a long stand". When the pupil arrives and delivers the request, they are asked to wait�usually in full view of the class: this is their "long stand".
In Latvia a similar hunt took place during Jani. Children traditionally went into the woods on Jani, searching for the fern blossom (like a "snipe hunt" in North America, since the fern blossom does not exist) which supposedly bloomed only at night on Jani. Searching for, and theoretically finding, the fern blossom brought good luck.
Read more: What is a snipe hunt? | Answerbag http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/6504#ixzz1uE4Ckeb9
May Your Light Forever Shine
and in the US Navy
there was he "Mail Bouy watch" where a new seaman was sent to the bow of the ship underway with a lifejacket and other paraphernalia on, binoculars, a pole with a hook on the end, etc. and told to watch for the mail bouy.
-------------
Funny, actually found it via google. Guess in these days of the internet you can't get away with anything.
Mail buoy watch
A young sailor is given a large hook and binoculars, fitted with a harness and safety line and stationed on the weather decks near the bow. S/he is told s/he on mail buoy watch. The imaginary "mail buoy" contains all of the ship's mail, dropped off by another ship earlier that day. Instructions are given that when s/he sees a buoy of X description s/he must hook the buoy or the bag on the buoy. They're warned that the whole ship is waiting for their mail, and failure to hook it will have the whole ship mad at him/her Sometimes even officers are in on the prank.
Wild Haggis
The Wild Haggis myth is apparently often told to tourists - some of whom are gullible enough to believe it. Even when told that there are two distinct subspecies of the fictional creature - one with longer left legs, one with longer right legs; both adapted to running around mountainsides. Needless to say, the story goes, the two subspecies can't interbreed; as if the male turned round to try to mount the female, he'd lose his balance as his longer legs would be on the up-side while the shorter legs would be on the down-side of the hill.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Just shows
No good deed goes unpunished.
“When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace becomes a circus.” - Turkish Proverb
Tripe!
Oh, no not a comment on the writing.... fun.. err if that's an appropriate word, perhaps not, but absolutely recognisable. As for tripe never been tempted to try it. I must admit though I guess if it was there I probably would just ta see. I was thinking some sort of curry which I do know a bit. For some reason I have this vague image of an old Goodies episode, Ecky thump and black puddings, madness, which does sorta fit. Scribble on Ang.
Kris
My God!
Sometimes I think it pays not to be qualified about families.
Ghastly! (Though I do like Haggis, meeps and tatties.)
OXOXOX
Bev!
Of Mice and Men
The best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray (I believe it's "gang aft aglay", but don't quote me on it.)
Perhaps the constant winding up that goes on in the that house is beginning to come to roust. *sighs* Dunno how they'll get it all sorted, but they've a lot of sorting to do.
Quite interesting events going down. Young children seem to do the opposite of what they're asked many times... And, Trish - ASKS for problems. One day, she'll learn to temper her comments and/or hide her brilliance when among us mere mortals. Sad it's needed, but it is. If she doesn't learn to tone it down, she'll discover she has very few friends. *sighs* Been there, done that... And I'm nowhere near as smart as Trish sounds like she is.
Thanks,
Annette
Some days
go better than others. Still, no one is really mad at each other, so that is something.