The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1633 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

It’s all very well for Henry to write to ask me what Trish would like for her birthday, I have to get our present for her first, and that’s bad enough. He suggested an iPod, one of the little ones, I think they call them a shuffle or something. Compared to the big ones which hold 160Gb, these only hold a couple, but enough to keep a little one happy. There is no way she’d fill all those gigabytes on the big ones–I think I’d be pushed and I have several hundred CDs. Trish has maybe twenty, so she pinches mine and loads them on to her computer. I know she’s an unusual child, but how many seven year olds listen to Wagner? Currently, I noticed my soundtrack from Titanic had disappeared, so I expect her to be singing along with Celine Dion. I didn’t like the film, which I thought was total crap, but the music is quite good.

On the Tuesday morning, Jacquie was up with us and helped get breakfast for the children–of course they all wanted her to get it for them, so I was able to have my cereal and some toast with a banana. I had a feeling it was going to be a busy day, and I was still trying to think of something for Henry to get for her majesty. So when Tom asked the same question, I suspect I overreacted. He went off to work in a huff and I felt all wound up inside.

In the end, I took Catherine out with me in the car and we popped into the university and I managed to speak with him and apologise. I suggested a silver bangle might be nice as she likes jewellery. That cheered him up, although of course by the time we’d finished the conversation, muggings had agreed to get it for him.

I went straight into town and got one for her, which I thought she’d like and was in our agreed price range. Then I bought her a portable DVD player and texted Henry that was what he’d bought her. He sent back his thanks. What were we getting her? I had no idea–I was tempted to think of a hand held GPS with maps and computer link, but wasn’t sure if she’d get much fun from it. She already had a microscope which she did use occasionally, but not that often.

I had ordered a binocular one with relatively low magnification for examining nut and acorn shells and also other things like insects, where I want to see the whole object not bits of. It would also be good for seeds and things, because the light could be shone from above the object as well as from below it. I also had a thing for connecting it up to a computer, though it wasn’t as easy as Trish’s one–and that was purportedly a toy. Some toy–it was very good.

I did think about a telescope but she doesn’t seem that bothered and to have to stand about in the cold and the dark while she had a two minute glance at the stars seemed a less than good idea–plus a good one would set us back nearly a thousand quid–too much for a kid’s birthday.

In the end, I found a PS3 and a couple of games, which they could all squabble over, plus they could buy her more games for Christmas. I called by Morrisons on the way home and did a quick shop and filled the boot of the car.

Jacquie made me a cuppa when I struggled in with the shopping and the baby, she also helped me put it all away, so she’d have an idea where things were kept. While I was out, Stella had supervised her stripping a couple of beds–the girl’s ones and remaking them. I have a huge linen cupboard, the size of a small bedroom and there’s a radiator in there to keep everything aired.

We have three of everything, like bedding and towels, so there should always be a clean set even if something unexpected happens. So far we’d coped with everything that had happened.

Once the washing machine had finished with the first load, I helped Jacquie do the third of the girl’s beds and also Danny’s. While that was washing, the first set were in the tumble drier. Sadly the weather wasn’t up to hanging stuff out on the line, so the next best was the drier.

I left Jacquie to sort out the next transfer while I fed Catherine, Jacquie came in to do something and seemed to be transfixed watching the baby at my breast. She was staring as if she’d never seen it before. I coughed and it made both Jacquie and the baby jump, the consequence of the latter was a mouthful of single cream down the front of my top. Wonderful.

“Sorry, Lady Cameron, I haven’t seen anything quite so beautiful before.” She blushed and ran out of the room. I put the baby down in her high chair gave her a teething ring and went out to the utility room where Jacquie was standing as if in a daze or a trance.

“Are you alright?” I asked her.

She started, then regained her composure before speaking. “I’m sorry, having been in an institution for so long, I missed out on all sorts of family life–and I’ve been on my own since. My family didn’t want me near them.”

“Even though you’re innocent?”

“They accepted the verdict of the court.”

“On a five year old? That’s preposterous.”

“They were worried about what the neighbours would say.”

I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have come here.” She turned to leave the room but I blocked the doorway.

“Jaquie, please, it looks as if fate brought you here.”

“Why–I’m no good to anyone.” She began to cry and I hugged her.

“Everyone is good, it’s only some of the things we do which aren’t. Never confuse deed with the person doing them. You’ve been branded with all sorts of negatives, it’s going to take time to unlearn them and replace them with positive messages.

“You’re a lovely young woman, Jacquie, you’re going to beat this and the system.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” she said, “Perhaps I’d be better just leaving.”

“Run away again, is that it?”

“It’s worked so far.”

“Has it? So why are you standing here sobbing? Stand and fight your demons.”

“You don’t know what they did to me in that place.”

“No I don’t, but you can tell me if you want to.”

“I don’t know, I uh...”

“It doesn’t have to be now, any time. We’ll all support you–it’s what we do. You don’t get one of us, you get a whole family.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I don’t deserve this, I really don’t. You’ve been so good to me.”

“Not yet, but that’s because you won’t let me.”

“The last person who said they wanted to help, raped me. They did an abortion and I suspect wrecked me up inside. They treated me as if I was some sort of monster.”

“Jesus, Jacquie; you were a child–how could they–they were the monsters, not you.”

“I started my periods when I was twelve, I was raped when I was thirteen–after the abortion, I haven’t had one since.”

“Have you seen a doctor about it?”

“No. Who’d listen to me?”
“I will and I know a doctor who will, too.” I went to my study and called Dr Smith. He wasn’t in, but I managed to make an appointment for her that evening. I’d take her myself.”

Like I said, it was going to be a busy day.