The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1636 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I had a tuna jacket potato for my dinner and Jacquie had a cheese one, neither of us had that much appetite but we needed to eat something.

Si came and sat with us, “How'd it go?”

Jacquie looked anxious for a moment, then relaxed. “I can’t have children,” she said and he nodded.

“That’s sad if you wanted them, but it isn’t the end of the world. We can’t have them either but we’ve found a way round it.”

“It would have been nice to have had the choice,” she said and left the table.

“What did I say now? It’s hardly news to her is it?”

“No it wasn’t news, but it was confirmed by two doctors, the latter a consultant. Possibly she hoped that her suspicions were wrong–we sometimes do deny things which are too horrible to take on board.”

“Why did they sterilise her?” he asked sipping his tea.

“I suspect that the abortion they did after she was raped was a hammer and nails job and they probably damaged the womb so much they had to remove it.”

“So the doctor who did it was probably a mate of the guy who raped her?”

“Quite possibly, these places are a bit us and them, I believe, which is why so many kids kill themselves in them. They can’t cope with the brutality.”

“It’s all a bit bloody, isn’t it?”

“’Fraid so, I doubt I can do much to change things but I might be able to help one survivor of it.”

“I used to think we lived in a caring, civilised society.” He finished his tea and sighed. “I was mistaken. My eyes have opened quite a bit to different issues since I met you.”

“The fact that you were amenable to question old values shows that you’re a good man, Si. That you challenge me sometimes is good for me too, I sometimes need to think differently about things. I’ve played the victim too long at times–your comparison with Jacquie last night, really hit home.”

“Um–sorry about that–didn’t mean to upset you, babes.”

“You made me think. That was good, and you have no need to apologise, I probably needed the jolt to make me rethink things. So, thank you.” I leant over and kissed him, he put his arm round me and pulled me closer to him.

“Er–Mummy, I think you’d better come quickly, Jacquie locked her door and I heard her moving furniture against it.” Julie looked very concerned.

We all raced up the stairs, “Jacquie, open this door please,” I called and knocked on the door. Simon flung himself at the door but it wouldn’t budge.

“Ladder,” I said and we left Julie trying to get Jacquie to open the door.

Simon and I rushed out to the garage and grabbed the ladder, it was just about long enough to reach the window. He extended it and I started climbing up it. Of course her curtains were drawn and the window was shut.

I called this quietly down to Simon who sent Trish to get a hammer. Then she climbed up the ladder and handed it to me. I waited until she’d descended and whacked the corner of the double glazed unit. On the second tap, it cracked and subsequent hits smashed the glass, I put my hand in and opened the window, then clambered in pulling the curtains open as I went.

The sight before me caused me to swear and scream for Simon. I ran to the door, Jacquie was hanging by a cord from a hook on the back of the door. The furniture Julie had heard was her kicking the chair away. I grabbed her round the waist and lifted her, calling for Simon to come quickly.

Moments later he was climbing in the window and moments after that he was cutting her down and between us we laid her on the floor. She had severe bruising on her throat but she was still breathing, we lifted her onto the bed and I sat with her talking to her quietly. If Julie hadn’t heard her, we’d have lost her. I was still shaking.

“Why didn’t you let me die?” she croaked at me.

“You’re under contract, dying would have been in breach of that. I told you I was a hard employer.”

Tears rolled down the sides of her face. “I wish I was dead.”

“Tough–I told you, if you do that, the bad guys win.”

“I don’t care–I’ve had enough of being a monster,” she sobbed.

I held her and stroked her, “The monsters were the people who did this to you. Please, I beg you, stick with us–we can help you, but it’s going to take time.”

“I just want out.”

“If you keep talking like that you’re going to end up in an institution again, and they’re not nice places. Here is more friendly, and the food is better.”

She smiled weakly at me. “I’m a disappointment to you. I’d better go.”

“You’re not going anywhere until I know you’re safe. Please stay here, amongst people who like you and want to help. It’s going to take some time for you to trust us, but it will be worth it.”

“I don’t know.”

“I hope Simon’s remark didn’t trigger this, did it?”

“No–well it added to my sense of uselessness, I really would be better off dead.”

“I don’t think I can prove that either way except to say, once you’re dead, that’s it, you have no chance of doing anything. If you stay alive, things can get better and I really do believe they will. But I need an undertaking from you to prove it.”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, I can’t watch you twenty four seven, so all I ask is that you give it a couple of months to see if I’m right. I know I am, because I’m one of those irritating types who is right most of the time.”

She shook her head. “For now.”

“If that’s the best you can offer, I’ll take it.”

“It is,” I helped her off the bed while the emergency glazier came and boarded up the window and cleared up the glass. I need to get in there with the vacuum tomorrow.

I put Jacquie in the guest room and I know Julie would be watching her like a hawk to make sure she didn’t try anything again tonight. I rubbed arnica into Jacquie’s throat and while I did so poured in the energy. She had a cold drink and went to bed.

It took Daddy ages to get the girls settled down and he had to read them two Gabysodes before they agreed to sleep. I told him he should have beaten them into submission with the book instead of reading to them. He gave me an old fashioned look then disappeared for his wee dram.

Simon was sitting at the table with a glass of red wine, he poured one for me, which I wasn’t going to drink but then I changed my mind and did so. “This is nice,” I said, taking another sip.

“It’s a Merlot, the good stuff.”

“Wizard, eh?”

“No, babes, that was Merlin.”