The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1637 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I did manage to sleep that night, but it was very lightly, every time there was the slightest sound I woke and found myself listening for it. The consequence was that I was cream crackered the next morning, yet I had several things to do. I got the children ready for school, then took them there and while I was out, I called Dr Thomas and was fortunate in being able to speak to her. She gave me a name to call of a woman therapist, who would come to the house if necessary. I thought it was and called her. She could visit to meet Jacquie that afternoon. All I had to do then was tell Jacquie what I’d done.

I took in a small box of cream cakes–not the best thing for weight loss, but what the hell–it was bribery and probably corruption too.

I showed Jacquie the cakes and she nodded enthusiastically switching the kettle on. While it was boiling, I told her what I did. “I spoke to a psychiatrist I know and she recommended a psychologist who does visits. She’s coming this afternoon, I’d like you to speak with her.”

“And if I don’t?”

“I’m going to be rather embarrassed. Look, I know it wasn’t your idea, but she’s supposed to be very good, so I’d like you to meet her and see if you think you could work with her.”

“What for? I’ve seen shrinks aplenty. They did me no good whatsoever.”

“You can swear if you like, though I prefer it if you didn’t in front of the children.”

“I swore enough in that place to last me a lifetime. At seven, I knew pretty well all the nastiest words in the English language, including the C word. I swore like a trooper because everyone else did and I was already seen as a weirdo, so I tried to fit in. Ever since I got out, I’m trying to use a more varied vocabulary.”

“Will you see this woman?”

“I don’t know...”

“For me, please?”

“You’re not my mother, Lady Catherine.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“My mother never bought me cream cakes.”

“I see, but I take it you like them?”

“Oh yes. Lady Catherine ...”

“Yes, Jacquie?”

“I wish you were my mother.” She burst into tears and I hugged her.

“I think I’m too close to your own age to adopt you, Jacquie, but perhaps I could offer the guidance-counsellor role, which I did and still sometimes do for Julie. Don’t forget, Stella is here as well, she’ll be happy to advise you too, or listen if there’s something you don’t want to talk to me about. Julie is here too–she’s had a rough time and come through it–she’d be only too pleased to talk with you or to listen.”

“You’re all so kind here.”

“We’re a family, although the only two who are actually related are Stella and Simon, the rest are a motley collection of children and adults who realised they needed each other and we’ve worked hard at being there for each other ever since. I suspect we’re actually more like a real family than some actual families–we occasionally have dog fights, but we work through them. We’re here for each other, and now you’re included in that family for as long as you care to stay. It means as well that you have to listen to others’ problems–but they’re usually easier to solve than your own.”

“Is this your idea? I get the impression you’re the driving force behind everything here.”

“I’m partly responsible.” She gave me a very disbelieving look. “Okay, It’s all my fault. I can’t walk away from people in need when I know I can help.”

“The good Samaritan.”

“Not the good Samaritan, more a case of good Samaritan syndrome.”

She laughed at me. “You’re such a good person, at heart aren’t you?”

“Sometimes–you should see me if someone is threatening my kids.”

“Hence the bodies in the orchard?”

“Shush–we don’t talk about that.”

“Did you really kill someone?”

“Yes–a couple of years ago. I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

“It was self-defence, though wasn’t it?”

“Yes, they shot at us and I returned fire–with a Kalashnikov–they died.”

“Oh my goodness–that sounds awful.”

“It was, I still dream about it on occasions.”

“I don’t know how many I actually shot and how many drowned–they drove into a Loch and sank. It was some hours before the police were able to recover them, they were all dead.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Shit, as they say, happens. Move on, we don’t have a choice–well not a viable one,” I quickly added when I thought she was going to disagree.

“I don’t know if I could live with myself if I actually did kill someone.”

“I found it surprisingly easy, except when I dream about it. They attacked us, and nearly killed one copper and badly injured another–I felt I had little choice but to return fire. The rest you know.”

“I still don’t know if I could do it?”

“I didn’t think about things, I just reacted–sometimes it’s better that way. My children were in the car behind–I had little choice, I certainly wasn’t going to let anyone kill them without a fight.”

“That does tend to add to the reasons for doing it.”

“I’m not proud of it, I would never have chosen to be in that predicament, but I was and I did what I did. Two policemen were killed by them beforehand, I felt more justified when I learned that.”

“I guess you would, Lady Catherine.”

“Can we drop the titles, I’m Cathy, okay?”

“I wish I could call you mother like the others do.”

“Jacquie, I wish I could let you, but could you imagine how that would look if we were out somewhere, or even here? I’m eight years older than you. Big sister maybe, but mother–I think not.”

“Big Sister is watching you,” she sniggered.

“Just Cathy then?”

“Okay, ma’am.”

I glared at her and shook my head which made her smile.

“Oh goody, cream cakes,” said Stella walking into the kitchen. “Oh, am I interrupting anything?”

“No, but Jacquie gets the first pick of the cakes.”

“Hah,” she said and pouted. “I don’t like you anymore, little sister.” She spoke in a squeaky child’s voice–the voice was squeaky not the child–we oil them regularly. In fact, most of the adults here are quite well oiled fairly regularly.

“Tough, Jacquie still get’s first choice.”

We finally did get to drink the tea and eat our cake. I had a chocolate éclair which surprise me–I’d have expected it to go first. Still that was to my good fortune, and it was delicious.

“Stella, I’ve got someone coming to see Jacquie at half past two.”

“Yeah, so?”

“I’m just telling you.”

“Telling me what?”

“See what I have to put up with?”

“Yeah, well you ain’t the only one,” said Stella, “I also have someone up with which I have to put.”

“Thank you, Mr Churchill.”

“Yeah, it was either him or John Humphrys,” said Stella winking at Jacquie.

“She’ll have to go,” I said to Jacquie who snorted tea everywhere.