Todd’s Prayer
Author’s note: This is based on my real experiences growing up. Its intense, so reader discretion is advised.
“No more, please ....”
I lay in my bed, weeping and praying, just like I did every night.
Every single night.
“Make it stop. God, please, make it stop.”
I looked at my headboard, and for the millionth time considered ramming my head into it until I fell unconscious. Maybe I could bash this stuff out of my brain .....
“I cant do this anymore...please.”
Its a good thing I’m just about invisible, or the lack of sleep and constant crying would get someone to ask questions.
But nobody asks.
Not that I would have an answer if they did.
“Please....”
“I’ll be good boy, God. I want to be a good boy. I’m so tired...”
“Just ...please.”
“I dont want to sin. I dont want to go to hell. Please help me....”
“God I’m begging.”
“Please make it so I can stop. Take it from me.”
“Please make me stop wanting to be a girl.”
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Comments
This hurts
I share the sentiments exactly... I never asked to feel the way I do, and if only.... I'd have sold my soul to have the feelings removed....almost.
Tanya
There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes!
There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes!
I'm sorry Tayna
Me too, for most of my life. Hugs, and thanks for commenting.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
And they think we choose this...
...I just love to go to sleep in a fitful rest, only to wake up crying over a dream that well never be fulfilled. The real nightmares aren't horrific; just tenacious and with a deep dull ache of the heart that never goes away. I'm with you there, Tanya! I'd say thank you since I do appreciate Dorothy's struggle, but part of me just wants go curl up on the couch and cry.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
I'm sorry, 'Drea
I actually cried writing this. I'm sorry it made you cry too. Big, gentle, comforting hugs.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
Todd's Prayer
Thank you for posting
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine