Chances Are... Stories of Hope Helen's Chance by Andrea Lena DiMaggio

The Battaglia home...Davenport, Iowa

“Mom….I….are you mad at me?” The boy looked down and away. Rita shook her head no, but of course, he didn’t notice her expression.

“I’m so sorry, Mom. I wanted to be just like Daddy…I really tried, but I let you down. I hate myself.” His voice trembled and he began to sob. Such a loss to sustain without dealing with undue guilt as well, but the Battaglias were very good at guilt.

“No, honey..it’s my fault,” she complained, as if being the person he was meant to be….her…Helen? It was as if it was something for both of them to hold their heads down in shame. It’s okay to feel disappointment, but they couldn’t live up to the expectations of a life that was ill-defined and poorly remembered. Aldo Battaglia was a good man, but a human being nonetheless, with shortcomings and flaws just like his wife and just like his erstwhile son. But they were too close and yet too far away from his life to recall just who the man actually was.

“I guess I’ll never be anything like him. Nothing…. A failure.” Tony began to resemble the girl he actually was long before he noticed the changes in himself. And of course, his mother took no note at all. Someone who cares cannot be called a disinterested third party, but someone who is disinterested cannot read the important signs nor hear the subtlety of inflection. Perhaps noticing body language, but without the perspective of someone who actually cares. Tony and Rita didn’t have anyone who could help them remember the real Aldo Battaglia and what he truly meant to them; in the past and even more so, for his child’s future. That was about to change.

“Sandy’s coming over for dinner. Now I think it’s best if we didn’t bring up Helen so soon, okay?” Of course it wasn’t okay. Tony needed to talk to both his mother and her intended; not as the son she thought she had raised to fourteen, but as the daughter both of them were about to share, along with someone else that neither knew existed.

“Hi…hello….anybody home?” A very sweet voice called from the front doorway. Sandy Nichols walked into the living room and repeated,

“Hi? Anybody home?”

“Sandy? I’m sorry, Miss Nichols? Hi…let me take your coat, okay?” The boy smiled and gathered Sandy’s coat and went to turn to put it in the hall closet.

“Here, would you take mine? Thanks.” He turned around and saw a young man…maybe three years older than him standing there. He wore blue jeans and a blue sweat shirt with USAF across the front. His hair was short and he had piercing blue eyes.

“Hi…I’m Tony….Miss Nichols? Mom went out to Kroger’s to pick up some coffee and half-and-half and some ice cream. She should be back in a few.” Tony practically stammered. It was going to be difficult enough talking to someone who might become his future step mother, but now with this other boy….they wouldn’t be able to talk at all.

“I’m sorry, I meant to say something. This is my son Jimmy. He’s back here for the holidays.” Tony looked over at the boy, who reached out and offered his hand, which Tony shook.

“I live with my Dad in Colorado.” He smiled again, which Tony found very awkward. If that was the case, he was looking at his future step-brother. He stepped back and pointed to the couch and chairs in the living room.

“Why…why don’t you make yourself comfortable. I’m just finishing dinner.” He stammered and walked back into the kitchen. Several minutes passed before they heard a familiar voice.

“Oh, hi….I see you’ve all met.” Rita said from front doorway. “I’m so glad you could come.”

A short while later....

“Sandy tells me you’ve applied for the Air Force Academy? That’s such a coincidence. Tony here hoping to attend when he graduates; his father was in the Air Force.” Rita said, but her voice trailed off at the end.

“Aldo….Col. Battaglia….he was working at the Pentagon….when...you know?” Sandy said to Jimmy, who nodded in understanding.

“You must be very proud of him,” Jimmy said, noting the picture on the mantel over the fireplace.

“Yes,” Rita said. “Tony wants to be a pilot, just like his dad.” She looked over at Tony, who frowned before putting his head down. To be a pilot in the United States Air Force seemed far away; almost like it was on a different planet and time. Rita cocked her head slightly, however, failing to pick up Tony’s obvious embarrassment.

“Wow….that’s a tall order,” Sandy said.

“Jim Sr. Jimmy’s Dad? He was a helo pilot in Desert Storm. Looks like our boys want to follow in their father’s footsteps,” Sandy said and Tony lifted his head and spoke.

“I…I’m sorry….I’m not feeling well….I’m…please excuse me.” He got up from the table and walked quickly down the hallway to his room.

“I’m sorry, Rita…Is everything okay?” Sandy shook her head and looked over at Jimmy.

“I hate to say I told you so, but I think you should have said something about Jimmy here. I think he was embarrassed and probably felt on the spot.” Rita nodded. She went to get up but Sandy put her hand on her arm.

“I think maybe I need to get to know him a bit better. Let me?” Rita shook her head no, but Sandy continued.

“If I’m going to be…if we’re going to be a family, you’ve got to let me try, okay…for my sake as well as his.” She got up and stepped closer, kissing Rita before walking down the hallway.

Sandy knocked on the bedroom door gently and spoke.

“Is it alright for me to come in?”

“Why not…you’re going to anyway.” The voice seemed almost bitter, but there was a sadness underneath that Sandy picked up immediately.

“I’m sorry, hon. We should have said something sooner. I didn’t know Jimmy was coming until the last minute, and I swear to God we were planning on telling you about him today. We weren’t even sure about us until last week, honey. I’m so sorry.”

“S….okay.” It really wasn’t, but it was going to get better.

“Tony? Can I talk with you? I’ve got a confession to make, and you’re the only one who can hear it, alright?” Very heavy responsibility for a fourteen year old, but Sandy’s tone was more than just polite. There seemed to be almost a sad but urgent tinge to her voice.

“I must apologize for your Mom….and for me. But we talk all the time. So when I first asked her…when I proposed…” She paused and sat on the bed next to the boy.

“Yes, sweetie, proposed. I love your mom and this is Iowa, after all.” Tony smiled and raised his eyebrows only a bit.

“When I proposed, we promised we would have no secrets. None. So she knows that Jimmy isn’t Jim Sr.’s biological son and that I had a boyfriend before his dad came along….the bio father, you know. And I know that your dad was killed on that day at the Pentagon.” Tony tilted his head. 9/11 wasn’t a secret at all. In fact, as much as Tony loved his father for as much as he knew him, there were times when he hated that connection; especially since he’d probably never live up to the expectations both his mom and dad had for him when he was born.

“Having two dads isn’t a bad thing, Miss Nichols,” Tony insisted.

“No it’s not…Tony? Please call me Sandy, okay?” It would be awkward enough after meeting her for only the second time to call her Momma or Mommy, and Sandy preferred to keep things lighthearted, especially with what she was about to share. He nodded and she paused, taking a deep breath.

“Jimmy will probably call your mom Rita. I’m sure we’ll sort all that stuff out, if that’s okay with you?” Tony’s eyes widened.

“Oh..I….I’m sorry…..I…..of course. I’m glad she found someone…..she really cares about you. You were looking at our pictures when she came in. She just….glowed.” Tony’s cheeks reddened. He knew his mom loved his dad, but he had never seen that expression on her face until this day.

“I know…I feel the same way about her. You never know how you’re going to feel about someone or something until you’re in the middle of it, you know?” Sandy said with a slight frown; she didn’t seem sad, but her tone sounded almost worried.

“Well….like I said…..your mom and I don’t….we can’t keep secrets, honey.” She stared at the boy and grew quiet. He looked in her eyes and she nodded ever so slightly.

“No! She didn’t tell you. She had no right. It’s not fair.” Shock turned to anger turned to sadness and then settled on unnecessary shame as Tony realized that his mother had broken a confidence on the only secret the boy had. He began to shake a bit and went to stand up. Sandy reached in and grabbed both of his hands.

“Honey…I had to know…for my sake and for yours. I know your mom didn’t want to tell me, but we all needed to know. Another part of how things get pushed together and speeded up in ways we hate but can’t control….Please don’t be angry with her.” Sandy looked up into his….her eyes, as her soon to be step-daughter emerged from hiding. The girl sat back down on the bed and fell into Sandy’s arms.

“It’s….I hate myself. I’ll never be what Daddy wanted me to be. I’m not a hero….I don’t even know what I am.” She sobbed into Sandy’s sweater. The woman pushed her back just a bit so they could see eye to eye.

“You can never be what anyone wants you to be, honey. You can only be who you are. I know that your father was a very brave and a very good man, and I’ll never replace him. But neither will you. He was just a man; a good man, yes, but just a man, sweetheart. Jimmy is not like his bio father at all, and is a pretty good young man, but not much like his dad. But I still love him. And your mom loves you. And from what I know of Aldo? Your dad would love Helen if he got the chance to meet her. If you two had the chance to know each other? Well? You and me and your mom and Jimmy? We all have a chance to be a family, and I think that’s a good thing, don’t you?” Helen looked at Sandy and saw the same accepting expression his mother showed her every day. She nodded.

“Now, since we are all going to be a family, and since dinner is a very nice but very reheatable Chicken Meniure, why don’t we sit here for a few minutes and maybe relax before we get you ready.” She pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek. The girl pulled away slightly.

“Ready?” She bit her lip slightly and wiped her face with her sleeve.

“I’m sure Helen has some clothes to wear, right? We need to get you ready so Jimmy can meet his new sister, right?” She beamed with an acceptance that only a mother, step or otherwise, can have for her child. Helen nodded before looking over at her closet. She turned back and the two put their heads together and giggled like school girls and exactly like they'd known each other all along.

Several years later...

Quad City Times Online —

Lt. James Nichols, Jr. and Helen Battaglia were united in Holy Matrimony at the United Church of Christ of Davenport, Iowa. James is the son of James Nichols, Sr. of Denver, Colorado. His mother is Cassandra Battaglia-Nichols, partner of the mother of the bride and step-mother of the groom, Margarita Battaglia-Nichols. Helen Battaglia is the daughter of the late Col. Aldo Battaglia, United States Air Force.

James graduated with honors from the United States Air Force Academy with a Bachelor of Science Degree and Master of Science Degree in Engineering. He is employed as a Pilot for the Air Force. Helen graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Science Degree and a Master of Science Degree in Psychology from Iowa State University. She graduated with honors from the Culinary Institute of America in Singapore and is Chef de Cuisine at Exotic Thai Restaurant in Davenport, Iowa. After a wedding trip in the Canadian Rockies, the couple will reside in Davenport

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