(Jennifer Brock sitting at desk)
Jennifer Brock:
Good evening and welcome to another edition of 'It's Transformative!!!" And we kick off this evening with TG Literature.
Drea:
Good evening. One of the finest writers on this site, or indeed of any other site, is Dame Kristine Roland. She's back in her beloved New Jersey for the first time in several weeks after her whirl wind tour of Europe to open a reading of her works at Paramus Mall Barnes and Noble, and we are very fortunate to have her with us in this chatroom this evening.
Kristy:
Good evening.
Drea:
Kristine... you don't mind if I call you Kristine?
Kristy:
No, not at all.
Drea:
Only it does bother some girls - I don't know why...but they are a little sensitive so I take the precaution of asking.
Kristy:
No, no, no that's okay.
Drea:
So Kristine's all right. Terrific, Terrific. I'm sorry to have brought it up, only eh...
Kristy:
No, no, please. Kristine it is.
Drea:
Well thank you very much for being so thoughtful...only it's more than my job's worth to...er...
Kristy:
Absolutely, yes.
Drea:
Makes it rather hard to establish a rapport ... to put the other woman at her ease...
Kristy:
Absolutely!
Drea:
Yes, silly little point but it does seem to matter. Still - less said the better. Uh...Kris...when you first started in...you don't mind if I call you Kris?
Kristy:
No, no, no everyone calls me Kris.
Drea:
Well it is shorter, isn't it?
Kristy:
Yes it is.
Drea:
Yes, and much less formal!
Kristy:
Yes, Kris, Kristine, anything!
Drea:
Wonderful...wonderful. By the way, do call me Drea, I don't want you playing around with any of this 'Andrea nonsense!' Ha ha ha ha! Now where were we? Ah yes. Kristy-baby, when you first started in the...
Kristy:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't like being called 'Kristy-baby'.
Drea:
I'm sorry?
Kristy:
I don't like being called 'Kristy-baby'.
Drea:
Did I call you 'Kristy-baby'?
Breanna:
Yes, you did! You brat, you!.
Drea:
I don't think I called her Kristy-baby.
Laika:
You called her Kristy-baby.
Drea:
(looking off-screen) Did I call her Kristy-baby?
Beth and Pippa:
Hmmm? Yes!
Drea:
I didn't really call you Kristy-baby, did I, sweetie?
Kristy:
Don't call me sweetie!!
Melanie and Muti:
Awwww!
Drea:
Can I call you sugar plum?
Kristy:
No!
Drea:
Pussy cat?
Kristy:
No.
Drea:
Kristy-Poo?
Kristy:
No!
Drea:
Jersey Girl?
Kristy:
No.
Drea:
Jerrrrzeee Gurrrulll?"
Kristy:
Of course not!
Drea:
Cutie Pie?
Kristy:
No you may not! Now get on with it!
Drea:
Can I call you 'Kiki'?
Kristy:
Kiki? Why Kiki?
Bobbie:
It's a nice name. Laika has a kitty named Kiki!
Kitty:
Awwwww!.
Kristy:
No. What's going on?
Amber and Yuki:
Kiki...Witttew Kiki...Awwww!
Kristy:
(Getting up) No. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm outta here!
Drea:
Tell us about your latest story, Ms. Roland.
Kristy:
What?
Drea:
Tell us about your latest story, if you'd be so very kind, Dame Kristine?
Kristy:
None of this 'pussy cat' nonsense?
Drea:
Promise. (Pats seat) Please, Dame Kristine
Kristy:
My latest story?
Drea:
Yes, Dame Kristine.
Kristy:
Well the idea, funnily enough, came from an idea I had when I first joined the website way back in 2005 . Of course, in those days I was just a blogger...I remember....
Cut to Jennifer Brock, as before...
Jennifer Brock:
Dame Kristine Roland. Later in the program we will we will be bringing you a unique event in the world of modern art. Pippa Kingsley will be doing a special painting for us, on this program, live, on the subway. But right now it's time to look at a woman whose meteoric rise to fame...
"It's Transformative" was funded in part by the National Endowment for the Stuff that Pretends to Art but Really Isn't, but Hell, It's not our Dime, Anyway! Produced by Joanne Barbarella and directed by Dame Susan Heywood. Executive Producer, Erin "Seven Sites" Halfelven.
The Comedic Stylings of Roland and DiMaggio is now on Lavender Ray and DVD. Call now. 1-888-555-Funy. Kristine Roland and Drea DiMaggio appear courtesy of Jersey T-Girl Productions, Inc.
(Based on "It's the Arts" by Monty Python's Flying Circus)
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos!
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And please, remember to comment, too! Thanks.
Comments
What a Hoot ?????
ALISON
The 'Drea and Kristy duo strike again! And I never realized before that Monty Python was TG.I guess you learn something new each day.Now,can I stop laughing,please? Just fantastic!!
ALISON
It's Sad
I lived a deprived adulthood and never watched Monty Python. Every once in a while, I'm hit with something that makes me realize how much I missed. This was one of them. I don't have a f*****g clue.
Portia
Portia
It's The Arts YOUTUBE
dubya dubya dubya .youtube.com/watch?v=YTwxiKMWCkg
It's The Arts YOUTUBE
dubya dubya dubya dot youtube dot com fwd slash watch?v=YTwxiKMWCkg
Thanks Drea -- as always I
Thanks Drea -- as always I appreciate being part of your routines!
(Also thanks for the other change, I really do appreciate it.)
Hugs,
Kristy
this one snuck up on me
i didnt catch the reference right away. Once I did, the laughs kept flowing.
Drea DiMaggio's Flying Circus
Delighted to have been a part. Thanks, drea.
And for the rest of you, that truly is what our chat room is like. You should check it out some time.
It's Transformative!!!
I used to have an old fashioned vynil of Monty Python. Later, I saw the Flying Circus on B.B.C. What a hoot!
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Culturally Deprived or is it depraved
RAMI
Sorry Dear Friend, but I'm lost. I guess I am cultrually deprived or depraved as the case may be.
RAMI
RAMI
Does anybody else have a sudden craving for.....
[email protected] ...Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam? Or is it just me?
Absolutely Hilarious Drea! Great way to start the day.
Huge Grinning Hugs,
Jonelle
P.S. Was that a cross-dressing lumberjack I just saw go prancing by? (Giggles!)
[email protected]
What is it with you???????
If you're not making us cry...you're making us laugh!!! You are obviously a very disturbed individual; NEVER CHANGE!!!
A Fan
And, of course,
You can call me...
Brilliant!
Hugs
Carla Ann
And don't forget...
[email protected] ...the powder-wigged magistrates in the changing-room 'dis-robing' to reveal their inner-selves!
Even more Giggles!
Jonelle
[email protected]
My kitty Kiki...
Is trying desperately to give this bit a thumbs up, but without thumbs this might take a while;
So until then have a kudo. Fun, funny stuff!
~~hugs, Laika
.
PS: It just occured to me there's another old comedy classic that's just screaming to be given a TG treatment, and that you're just the gal to do it. The ever-inspirational OLD PHILOSOPHER routine, by Eddie Lawrence. To whit...
.
Hiya folks.
Ya say ya lost your job today? Ya say its 4 A.M. and your kids ain't home from school yet? Ya say your wife went out for a corned beef sandwich last weekend- the corned beef sandwich came back but she didn't? Ya say your furniture is out all over the sidewalk 'cause ya can't pay the rent, and ya got chapped lips and paper cuts and your feets all swollen up and blistered from pounding the pavement looking for work?
Is that whats troubling ya, fellow?
WELL LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-ITNESS! AND YA SHOW THE WORLD, YA SHOW THE WORLD WHERE TO GET OFF!! YOU’LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP ……… THAT SHIP!!!
.
Hey there, friend.
Ya say your radiators never worked all winter and now that its summer they started up again and ya can't turn them off? Ya say your wife sent your light weight suits to the cleaners, and that means you'll have to wear your itchy tweeds this morning when they say it'll hit 106 and ya gotta meet an important business man in an hour, and your bridge just broke and ya pasted it together with bubble gum and ya hope it don't fall apart while you're doing some fast talking to this man? And your shoelace just busted and ya opened a big cut on your cheek trying to even out your sideburns? And your daughter's going out with a convict? And your wife just confessed she gave your last sixty dollars as a deposit on an airplane hanger?
Is that whats troubling ya, friend?
WELL LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-ITNESS! AND YA SHOW THE WORLD, YA SHOW THE WORLD WHERE TO GET OFF!! YOU’LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP ……… THAT SHIP!!!
.
Hey there, cousin...
Ya say ya can't pull your car out of the mud, and you're in the middle of nowhere and its pouring rain, and ya can't get the top back up and your paycheck's all blurred and your foot went right through the gas, and your girl's screaming bloody murder; She’s scared of the dark and a stroke of lightning splits your motor in half and your suit's shrinking up fast and ya start up the windy road on foot and sixty yards of barbed wire hits ya right smack in the puss, and ya both fall down in the mud and then a wild animal comes over and runs away with your shoes and your car blows up suddenly and your windshield-wiper ends up in your mouth, and ya can't move, and the mud's rising up to your nostrils, and you're sinking fast, and ya don't hear your girl screaming anymore?
Is that what's on your mind, cousin?
WELL LIFT YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN WITH DIGNITY AND STICK-TO-ITNESS! AND YA SHOW THE WORLD, YA SHOW THE WORLD WHERE TO GET OFF!! YOU’LL NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE UP ……… THAT SHIP!!!
.
And now, this is the old philosopher saying ……… so long folks.
.
And here's some kid's lip-sych video of it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79laBjDhyUs
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
Two Beautiful Women
All I saw were two beautiful. Beautiful, exotic, romantic,
gorgeous, refined, alluring, and mysterious. Nothing that
followed mattered.
With original music by whom?
Yes!
This piece calls for a commission by that famous British composer Arthur "Twosheds" Jackson!.
The Rev. Anam Chara+
Anam Chara
Directed by?
I couldn't even direct someone asking where my house is. As has been said, this is a hoot. How do you think it all up?
You know, I've been told many times that I should be on the stage, but the last one out of Dodge City ran years ago.
Susie
Damned Alzheimers
Produced by li'l ol' me? I oughta be able to remember, and where the hell did I put that big fat cheque?
Joanne