Mirror Mirror - Chapter 5

The next morning, Norman got up very early, got dressed, and sat at small desk with a very old computer, and, using the textbook as his guide, tried to learn more about transgender. This led him to a fiction site where he read some stories written by, for, or about trans people, and he was impressed with the level of skill these writers possessed. They were remarkably talented, especially for people who weren’t getting paid to share their writings with the world, but instead were offering their stories for free.

Unfortunately, he didn’t see how fiction would help, so he kept searching for an answer.

Finally, he turned off the computer, and pulled out a piece of paper.

He divided the paper in half, and on the top of one half he wrote, “Transition Pros”. On the top of the other half he wrote “Transition Cons”.

Under “Cons” he wrote - “Will anybody accept me ?”, and “Can I bind breasts I only see in the mirror?”, and “What if taking meds is useless?”

Under “Pros”, he wrote “Can I do nothing and survive?”

He stared at the paper for a long time, and sighed.

In the stories he had looked at, most of the guys who were suddenly made girls came to accept being a girl even embracing it, including wearing skirts and dresses, heels and hose, and flirting with (or going further than flirting with) guys.

Norman wasn’t sure he could go that far, but he wondered if there was any room between that and where he was right now.

Norman shook his head and went back to the paper. He crossed off out what he had before.

Under "Pros", he wrote "Sanity?" Norman paused, then wrote "Not living a lie." Then he added, "Not hating myself anymore." Under "Cons" went "Intolerance/Bigotry/Harassment." "Wincing when I see myself naked in the mirror."

And finally, "periods - Ick. “

With that, Norman laughed. And with that laughter, Norman realized there was no rule that said being a girl meant you had to dress up in a full-on little black dress, slit up the side and seduce the first man you see. Girls can wear long sleeved tees and jeans. Being a woman isn't about clothes, hair and nails. It's about being. Just being who you are, and starting with that.

And the same thing was true of being a man. It wasn’t about his face, it wasn’t about having muscles or height or facial hair, it was what was in his mind, and his heart.

And no matter what the mirror said, Norman was a man where it really counted.

Norman left the list and went to class.

Norman made it through his morning classes, and then went to the cafeteria to meet Nancy and James. Once he got his lunch, he sat down across from them both, and said, “Before we start working on the scene, I ... have something to tell you. I ... I’m transgender. I may look like a girl, but in my heart and mind, I’m a guy. I’m not sure what I can do about that, but that’s the situation.”

‘I guess we shouldn’t be totally shocked, considering the way you dress.” Nancy said.

“Yeah. Nancy and I were talking the other day, and well, you reminded us of a girl we knew in high school. Except I guess she was going the other way. She was born a boy, but she was always a she in her head. That kind of thing, it can’t be a ton of fun.” James added.

“So you two aren’t totally weirded out?”

“No way.” James said, “You can’t help being who you are.”

“So I’m guessing you’d prefer male pronouns? He, his, him, that kind of thing?” Nancy asked.

“Y..yes, please.” Norman managed.

“What about a male name?” James asked. “Can’t call a dude Norma.”

“Well ... its close. You just have to add an ‘n’ to the end - ‘Norman’”

“Can we call you Norm? Like the guy on Cheers?” James asked with a smile.

“That ... that works.” Norman stammered. “You guys really okay with this?”

“Like I said, you can’t help being who you are.” James stated.

“Thanks. It means a lot to me.” Norman said.

“It’s probably not the best question, but is that why you’re not interested in James here?” Nancy asked.

“Hey! You told!” James exclaimed.

“I’m afraid so, James. I ... I like girls. I guess that makes me sort of straight.”

“I guess it would ... bro.” James said.

“So any idea what you’re gonna do about it?” Nancy asked.

“I honestly don’t know. In my ...particular circumstances, I may not be able to take hormones, or change my appearance, or have surgery.” Norman said with his head down. “Being Norman with a few friends may be as good as it gets.”

“Well, if being Norman with us is as good as it gets, then we’ll have to do our best to make it the best it can be.” James said firmly.

“Darn right.” Nancy added.

“Thank you both so much. Just getting this off my chest helped.”

“Well, you’re welcome, ...Norm.” Nancy said

“Ditto, bro.” James said, offering a fist-bump.

Norman gave a fist-bump back, and then slapped himself on the head. “Oh, crap. I totally forgot. I have to go home this weekend. Its my mom’s birthday.”

“I take it she doesn’t know?” Nancy asked.

“I ... I’m not sure. But I know for sure my mom is a total girly-girl type. Her favorite color is pink, and she grumps if she has to wear pants.”

“Wow ... Listen. Let me give you our phone numbers and email addresses. It gets too much, you can call or text or IM one of us.” Nancy offered.

Nancy quickly pulled out a notepad and jotted down her contact info, and then James did the same. Then James handed it to Norman.

“I hope your mom ends up being cool with it, man. But we got your back, no matter what.”

“Bless you both. Now, we better work on our scene.” Norman said, and pulled out his notes.

Once lunch was over, Norman went to his afternoon classes feeling lighter and freer. After his last class, he went and returned the textbook to his teacher, and then walked home to pack for the trip to his mother’s place. Once packed, he called his mother, and she told him his brother Patrick was on his way to pick him up rather than Norman taking a bus to the small town where his family lived.

Norman sat down on his bed and waited for his brother to arrive. While he waited, he debated what he should do about telling his family. It might come as a shock to them, but nothing in his memories indicated they would hate him or reject him.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, so he grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

The next step in his journey was to begin ...