Chapter 4:

Norman headed down the stairs to the basement of the student union building while trying to keep his nervousness under control.

He found the room, and it was reassuringly bright and open, with a “reception desk” set up near the entrance.

Norman took another deep breath, and approached the reception desk.

There was a young woman sitting there, and she graced Norman with a smile as he approached.

Norman found it reassuring that he found her attractive ...

She asked, “What can I do for you, dear?”

“I ... I’m looking for information on transgender. Especially for anything you have on female to male.”

“Sure. We have a pamphlet that covers the basics. And if you’re interested, there is a meeting tonight of trans people. Its at 7 PM. “

“I’ll ... take the pamphlet, for now. I’ll ... have to think about the meeting.”

“No problem. Its pretty informal, drop in style. And here’s the pamphlet.”

She handed Norman the pamphlet, and he said “Thank you.” Then he turned, and left, heading for the elevator. He know the councilors were upstairs in this building, and he wanted to get this process started as fast as possible.

Once he got to the floor of the student councilors, he signed in to see whoever he get as soon as possible. He was told he would be able to be seen in a half-hour, so he sat in a comfortable chair in the waiting room and looked at the pamphlet he’d gotten.

The pamphlet was pretty thorough for something so compact, and Norman felt like he’d at least made a start in learning the world in which he found himself.

No sooner had he finished when the counselor called his name. He went in, and the councilor introduced herself as Karen as she directed Norman to sit down.

“So, what can I do for you?” Karen said.

Norman had thought hard about how he could say what was going on. He took a deep breath. “What I am about to tell you will sound kinda nuts, but its true. I ... I think I’m a guy. I think I’ve always been a guy. But here I am, everyone calling me by a female name, and every time I look in the mirror I see a girl. And I don’t know what I can do about it. But I have to do something, and soon, because I don’t know how much longer I can hold out before I crack, and lose maybe my one chance to get what I need to be the teacher I always wanted to be.”

Karen said, “I hate to tell you this, but there is very little I can do. But I can tell you there is a LGBT group here on campus, and I can give you the name of a good therapist, who will probably diagnose you as transgender, and get you started on a transition to male, if that’s what you need. I can also assure you that once you have what’s called a ‘carry letter’ saying you’re in transition, your teachers and the staff here will treat you as a male student, without prejudice..”

Karen sighed, and continued. “Unfortunately, while we can give you legal protection against violence, we cannot make people accept you as a man. Friends and family may be confused and upset by your decision to transition, or think you’re going against the commands of God. And your build and facial structure may cause you to be ‘outed’ in public, causing you difficulties.

We will be here for you, as much as we can be, whenever you need us. But the hard stuff is gonna be up to you.”

“I already have spoken with the LGBT group. There is a trans support group meeting tonight. You got any other advice?”

“Go to the meeting, learn what you can. Then go to the therapist and see what she says. Then you can make some decisions.”

Norman thanked her, and Karen said “Good luck.”

Once he left the counseling office, Norman looked at his watch and realized he had about an hour and a half before the trans group meeting, so he decided to go find something to eat. At the far end of the campus was a small shopping mall, so he headed that way in hopes of finding food.

Once at the mall, he bought a taco salad, and pulled out the textbook his teacher had given him, and read while he ate. About an hour later, he finished up, put the textbook away, and went back over to the student union building for the trans support group meeting.

The group at the meeting was an eclectic one, to say the least.

They ranged from a tall girl wearing a very short skirt and a glare that as good as said “Wanna make something out of my outfit?” to a mouse of a girl wearing a thrift store dress that had been in a shopping bag until just before the meeting started. There was one person going from female to male, and he gave Norman a firm, masculine handshake when introductions were made.

Norman kept mostly quiet during the meeting, listening to the stories of the others instead. It made him feel ashamed of laughing at stories of “trannies”.

What these people had gone through was no laughing matter.

After the meeting, he walked back to his apartment, got undressed and put on the shorts and t-shirt he had worn the night before. Then he tossed and turned for a while, trying to decide what his next step was ...

*****