This is How a Heart Breaks - A Vision Spring story

Six months ago . . . Sara woke from her usual nightmares. Weak and shaking, she barely managed to get herself up and deal with the waking world. She had thought things were getting better, she had made such progress, but lately things had gotten worse again. The first set of dreams involved the case that had sent her on leave from being a social worker.

It had seemed like a very straightforward case. A young boy, about 5 years old, had lost his parents in a car crash, and an uncle and aunt had requested custody of him. He had been there before, a background check had been done, and she approved the move.

She was totally unprepared for what happened six months later when the police had been called in. The photos she had seen of what had happened to him. . .. She couldn’t believe it was possible.

She had snuck one of the photos out of the custody of the police and kept it, punishing herself daily by looking at it. What the photo showed was a travesty, the boy wearing women’s clothes.

But not just any set of women’s clothes, a outfit more suited to a prostitute than to a child of either gender. The look on the child’s face was one of someone who was utterly broken and lost.

She had tried to talk to him after the arrest of his relatives, but he was totally unresponsive. She wondered if he would ever recover from the hell she had sentenced him to. Or if she could ever forgive herself for her part in his pain.

It didn’t matter that she had no reason not to trust them, she still felt responsible for what had happened to him. And this guilt played a big part of the dreams. The other dreams where just odd, or even impossible. It started with a castle, huge, old, but still beautiful in a way. Inside the castle was a table, with the most unusual chairs she had ever imagined.

One was made of stone, another of wood and plants, another seemed to be made of fire, another of water, one of a whirlwind, one of solid darkness, and the last of solid light.

Most of the chairs were occupied, but three were empty, the water chair, the chair of light, and the chair of darkness. After a few times of having this dream, she started to realize that the empty chairs was a major part of the discussions.

They talked about Egypt, about a candidate in Seattle, and what really interested her, of a candidate in her hometown of Vancouver. The leader of the group was the old man who sat in the stone chair.

He had a cane in one hand, and a scar down the right side of his face, both over and under his right eye. The scar was clearly very old, but sometimes in her dreams it seemed raw as if it had just happened. But it was morning now, and she had stuff to do today.

It was time for her counselling session, and then one of her former co-workers had somehow talked her into going to lunch with him. It wasn’t a romantic thing, as he knew her status as a lesbian, but he cared greatly for her, and she felt obligated to keep him informed on her progress.

After her counselling, she had mixed feelings. One the one hand, she felt she had made significant progress in dealing with her guilt, but for some reason, she couldn’t even talk about the dreams of the strange castle and its occupants.

She arrived at the restaurant where she was to meet her friend early, and to pass the time, she grabbed a copy of the paper. She was so shaken by what she saw, that she didn’t see her friend come in and sit down.

He took her hand, and said, “What’s wrong?”

She pointed to a picture on the second page of the paper, where right at the top there was a picture of the old man from her dreams. “Who is this man?” she asked.

Frank, her friend, glanced at the photo. “There is a caption underneath the picture. It says his name is Gregory Kolvolenkov. He is the head of an international charity group called Vision Spring.

Look, there is an article on the next page, and it says he is coming to town to make some big announcement with the three levels of government. Its supposed to happen this afternoon at City Hall.”

Sara recovered herself from her shock, and looked at her friend’s face. “You know more than that, I can tell.”, she said.

“Representatives from Vision Spring have been sniffing around for a while now. They have talked to every charity and government agency in town, and I know for a fact they have met your friend Mary from the Gay Pride Center.

There are rumours that the chairman has bought a house in North Vancouver, near Lynn Canyon Park, and plans to make that his base of operations until after the Olympics.”

After they finished their lunch, Sara went home, and decided she needed to watch the announcement. Frank was right, not only was the man from her nightmares there, so were representatives from the federal, provincial, and civic governments, the head of the Gay Pride Center, Mary King, and the head of the Provincial Employees Union.

They all sounded tremendously enthusiastic about the arrival of Vision Spring to Vancouver. Mary was especially pleased to announce that Vision Spring was going to focus on helping gay, lesbian, and trans persons who need housing, jobs, or anything else they may need. Locals who wanted to donate were encouraged to send donations to the pride center.

Sara turned off the TV, and tried to think. How could she be dreaming of this man, and then have him turn out to be real? She felt she must find out all she could about him.

She called Frank, and he told her that Gregory would be visiting her old office the next day. She realized she still had clearance in the building, and decided she needed to crash the party.

The next morning, she felt strong enough to face her fear. She got dressed as if she was going back to work, and made her way to her old office building. As she hoped, her card still worked, and she was allowed to enter the building, and she headed for her old floor. She planed to tell anyone who saw her that she was there to see her old boss about when she might be cleared for duty again.

She met Frank, and he wished her luck, and headed for his own office. She went to her old boss’s office, but he wasn’t there. She was debating what to do when the elevator behind her opened, and the old man stepped out, and he had her old boss with him.

Seeing him in real life, she suddenly realized how BIG he was, he was built like a wrestler, and despite using a cane, gave the impression of strength. For some reason, she decided she didn’t want to be seen, and so slipped down the hallway and around the corner, and found herself breathing hard.

She listened to her former boss talk to the old man, acting totally out of character for him. He was normally gruff, but he was positively fawning over the old man.

The old man spoke remarkably softly for such a large man, and spoke excellent English, with only a hint of an Russian accent. She steeled herself, went back around the corner, and forced herself to get ready for a confrontation. Her former boss was startled, but introduced her to the old man, and he took her hand gently for such a big man.

He seemed much less threatening than her dreams had suggested despite his size and the ugly scar. He invited her to come to the house he had bought in the north end of the city, and gave her a card with a number to call if she wanted to come.

She found herself rather dazed, and walked away like her mind was a thousand miles away from her body. By the time she collected herself, she was out of the building.

She went home, and thought hard about what she had experienced. The next day, she steeled herself, and returned to the office to have the conversation with her former boss that she had wanted the day before. While waiting for him, she had a chance to talk to many of her former co-workers, and to a person, they had all been impressed with the old man. He was described as “courtly”, “old-world polite”, and “kind of sexy”.

When she went in to see her old boss, he told her “Mr. Kolvolenkov was impressed with you. In fact he told me he wanted to hire you to run things for him here in Vancouver.”

She was shocked, and told him “Did you tell him I am still on stress leave? That I don’t even know if I will ever be able to do this kind of work again?”

“He wants you. And he can offer just about anything you would want” He said.

She looked doubtful, so he added “At least go see him. Decide after that.”

Sara decided to do just that, and phoned the number the old man had given her the other day, and within a few minutes, a car arrived at the office, and a driver offered to take her to see Gregory at the house he had bought in North Vancouver. The house was in Seymour Heights, and was right against the boarders of Lynn Canyon Park.

On her arrival, she was surprised to find that the house itself was not all that large. Gregory met her himself at the door, and asked her to join him in the garden in the back. The “garden” turned out to be the most impressive rock garden Sara had ever imagined. Every colour of the rainbow was represented, and some of the stones shone like precious jewels.

Although the stones didn’t look like they had been carved or otherwise altered, odd shaped rocks were placed together in such a fashion as to create incredible sculptures.

Adding to the beauty, a ribbon of blue from a small stream wound through the garden, with the water often reflecting the shining stones nearby, and on either side of the stream a flower path added a sweet fragrance to the whole. In the center of the garden, a table and chairs had been set, with an umbrella to keep out the rain.

Near this was a wall that had a waterfall, with the wall itself being made out of sparkling rocks that recalled diamonds, rubies, and emeralds,

It was to this table that her host directed her, and they sat down, and for a while she just listened to the sounds of the water, and smelling the flowers and the fresh turned earth.

She was momentarily taken aback when a person came up to set the table, and she realized it was a man, wearing woman’s clothes. She looked at Gregory, and he said, “He is a very good employee. The fact that he likes to dress up as a woman doesn’t change that in the least.“

“So you do have some connections to the GLBT community” she said, and Gregory smiled. “My announcement that I wished to help them here in Vancouver is sincere dear.“

They talked about his coming to Vancouver, his dream for helping gays, lesbian, bisexuals, and transgender people. He pushed her to consider working to help, and she found herself really wanting to do it. More than that, she found herself charmed by him.

Over the next couple of months, he found excuses to have her join him as he toured the city, and she found excuses to be free to do so. Her nightmares involving her work stopped, and she soon felt ready to go back to work, and his offer became more and more attractive, as did he in her eyes.

One trip in particular really changed how she saw him. They had gone to the pride center, and listened to the stories of some of the people there. As one girl talked she could feel his muscles tense, and when they had left, she could see he was torn between rage and tears.

This girl had spoken of how her family had tried to kill her for her coming out, and afterward, when they had left the center, he was obviously shaking.

“You ok?” Sara asked.

“I would like about 5 minutes alone with her father, but I will be fine.” he said. “That someone would want do that to anyone, much less their own child . .” With an effort, he regained control of himself.

Finally, she had returned to his garden, and for the first time they began to discuss personal lives, and she felt very comfortable in her presence.
The relaxing environment lowered Sara’s guard, and she soon found herself telling her life story to Gregory.

She told him about how she rebelled against her traditional Japanese-Canadian family, especially when she had come out as a lesbian. She told him of the first girl she had loved, a Native Canadian girl, who had tried to get her into Wicca.

She told him about becoming a social worker to help others like her who had lost family and friends due to trying to be themselves. And she told him about the case that had driven her to take stress leave.

He surprised her when while she was talking, he asked permission to hold her hand and then after she finished, he asked if he could give her a hug. She agreed, and he took her in his arms, and gently said to her, “Its ok. You are not alone, and for what its worth, I don’t think you did anything wrong.”

She found herself crying, and he held her until she regained control of herself. Finally, she looked at his face, and saw only compassion in his eyes. “I am sorry.” she said “You may not believe this, but I have been having dreams about you for a while now.”

He sat her down, and went over to an open space and put his hand on the dirt. “Your birth stone is garnet, isn’t it?”

She nodded, and watched as he put his hand into the soil, and a minute later, he pulled something out, and came back over and handed her a garnet stone.

“Is that some kind of magic trick?” she asked.

“No trick dear, watch this.” he said, and he went over to a large rock nearby and touched it. She was totally amazed as the rock began to change shape, and soon she recognized that it had become a sculpture of her.

“Ok,” she said, “What are you?” and what do you want from me?”

“Come with me” he said, and went over to a very large boulder. He knocked on it, and to her surprise, a door appeared in it, and opened.
He held out his hand to her, and she found herself taking it, and they stepped through the doorway . . .

And into the impossible

It was the castle of her dreams, but larger, more beautiful, than she remembered. He stepped onto a stone, took her on it with him, and it rose into the air, and floated into the castle.

They landed on a open spot inside the castle, and he took her to the room she had seen in her dreams, with its round table and impossible chairs.

“What are you feeling right now, Sara?” he asked

“One of the chairs is . . . Calling me?” she managed.

“which one?” he asked

“The dark one.” she said

“Then step over there Sara, into the shadows, and call” he said

“Call? Call what?”

“Call the dark”

Not knowing why, she went over to the shaded spot and closed her eyes.

The darkness began to take shape. It made a man-like form, and bowed down to her, and then, she lost it, and the darkness evaporated.

“All right” she said, “Now, tell me what’s going on.”

“I have one more thing to show you, and then I will tell you my story.” he said.

He then led her out of the room, and soon they were in a high tower with a flat top, and he led her to the roof. When she stepped out, she saw something that took her breath away. In the sky above her was a cloud, of such extraordinary colours.

“What is it?“ she asked.

“That, is the reason why Vision spring exists. it’s the source of our power, the origin of every story and dream and myth the human race has ever had. It’s the home of devils and angels and ghosts and every magical creature that has ever entered our thoughts.

Most of the time, it passes through the earth without damage or even leaving much of a mark, except in our dreams. But every so often, it gets solider, and when it then interacts with our world, then objects and creatures can escape and threaten our existence.

Already some items and beings have crossed over, taken shapes out of the imaginations of human beings, and they can cause great damage if unchecked.

But what’s coming soon is worse, because its got a will, an intention, I believe it is responsible for sending some of the more dangerous objects and creatures across, as part of its plans to merge the two worlds. And if that merger occurs, humans are not likely to survive.

We live in a world of order, of logic and laws and cause and effect. But that is utter chaos, a place where no rules would apply, where nothing would be certain, where past, present and future mix, where time and space bend and skip. And the damage possible when that occurs in incalculable.

Already psychics and sensitive souls are starting to sense something, and are having nightmares about the end of all things. But soon, everyone but the most closed will feel it. Will you help us fight it?”

“I want to hear your story first.” Sara said. “I have told you mine. Then I will decide what I should do”

Gregory sighed, an moved away, looking outward into the colourful cloud above them, and then started to speak.

Gregory’s story

“I was there when the great empire of the Romans ended. I was a young man then, and I joined a group of knights who sought a lord worthy of our loyalty. We swore oaths to act under a code of honour, and trained ourselves in riding and fighting from horseback.

The others thought I was the bravest of them all, but they didn’t know I had a secret, a pain so great I didn’t care if I lived or died. Somewhere within me was a need, a push toward the feminine that I could barely contain. Because of that struggle, I went into every battle without any regard to my own safety, and indeed hoped I could die on the battlefield.

One day, I happened upon a monastery, and due to a wound I had suffered, was forced to stay there for many months while I healed. Stricken with fever, I revealed the secret to one of the monks there.

He counselled me to find a wife, and in that way find a cure for my condition. So I did, but at first, that only made things worse, until I was forced to confess my sinful desires to my wife.

I cant say it made her very happy, but she loved me enough to try and help me cope, and soon made a feminine wardrobe for me to wear about our home. Our servants were those who owed us their lives, and felt such strong loyalty to us that we could trust them with my secret. So for a brief time, I was content.

Until the day came when a beast from another world, a creature I thought to be a demon, came to my home and killed my family.

I had been outside when the alarm reached me, and I arrived too late. My wife, my soul mate, the only person who had truly cared for me was dead.
I was lost in fury, and I called on the earth itself to seek my vengeance And the stones of my home answered me.

And I used the very walls of my castle to fight my foe, and I killed it, destroying all evidence of its existence. But I sat in the wreck of my home, cradling the body of my wife, and I cared not that my enemy was dead.

I don’t know how long I sat there, wondering if God would forgive me if I ran my blade through my own flesh, when the monk came up the road.
He led me away from the ruins of my home, and took care of me again until some level of sanity had returned to me.

When he thought I was ready, he revealed to me his own secret, that he was like me. He could make fire do things I couldn’t even have imagined. He had come to find me, to join him and his group.

I spent years training, then we spent more years filling the seats at the table and fighting threats originated from this place. But what he didn’t know was there was a reason why we needed to exist, not just for the occasional monster, but to prevent a total crisis.

Until the creature that dwells there made itself known to us, and we learned its goals and we were forced to fight for the entire universe against it.

We won, but a number of us didn’t make it through the end. I lost some wonderful friends over the course of that battle, and came out wounded myself.

Then I also learned that the crisis we had faced, the creature from that which you see above is, was not destroyed. In fact, all we had done is delay it slightly. By “slightly” I mean that its about to happen now.

And its going to start, right here, in Vancouver. In Chinatown to be exact, as a deadly crystal has re-appeared there, and we have to get it before someone uses it.

And I believe you can help us. But what makes things hard is … I am starting to develop feelings for you. And that could make everything we have to do harder.”

Sara looked at this man who had been unable to look at her while he had told her this.

Now the feelings she had started to develop for him made more sense to her. She had been sensing the feminine in him, even as he had tried to hide it from her.

And the fact that he revealed his true heart to her now, when he couldn’t know how she would react, made her believe it was all true. She had seen his power, and now she saw his pain, and all she wanted to do was take that pain away for him.

“All right.” She said, “What do I do?”

“As you just demonstrated, Sara, I believe you have the potential to control the Dark, just like I can speak to Stone. We have to unlock that gift. And we have to work fast. We have to go to Chinatown, and find that crystal before someone finds it and uses it.” he said.

“About that,” she said, “I don’t know why, but I have been thinking about my first girlfriend, the one who tried to get me into Wicca. I have no clue why, but her face and name keeps popping up in my head”

“Do you know where she is now?” Gregory asked.

“Chinatown.” she said, and suddenly realized what she was saying

As if reading her mind, he said “it’s a good place to start.”

Soon, they were in his car, and headed for Chinatown. As they traveled, Sara told Gregory that the girl was part of a small tribe called Chickliset.

The tribe actually merged with a larger tribe a while back, but still retained some separation. Somehow, the girl became mixed up in a number of different ideas at once. She had become a Wicca, had explored a number of different Native beliefs, and also seem interested in Sara’s Japanese heritage and myths.

Eventually, even the local Wicca group disowned her, and she struck out on her own, creating her own unique mishmash of belief systems. It was at this point that Sara realized she didn’t want to hang around her anymore, and moved on. Nevertheless, she still had the girl’s most recent address, and it was there they stopped.

As they got out of the car, Sara said to Gregory, “Please. Let me talk to her.”

He nodded to her, and slipped an arm around hers as they walked in. Somehow, she didn’t mind it being there at all.

They rang the bell, and her ex answered it. She looked dishevelled, like she had been unable to sleep or eat for days. “Itzel?” Sara said “What’s happened to you?”

The girl looked at her without seeing for a moment, and then said, “Sara?”

Sara said, “Can we come in?”

Itzel let them in, and Gregory said, “Miss Owana, we are trying to track an item down that belongs to my charity I found out it was somehow sent to a occult store instead, and that you might have purchased it. Do you think you could see if you bought it, and I will be very glad to compensate you for it.”

She looked worried, and said, “I . . . am sorry sir. I bought a group of items from the store, I would have to look through them and find what you are looking for. What does it look like?”

Gregory said, “It is a crystal, shaped like the sun, and has Japanese writing on it.”

Itzel said, “I will have to look for it. Now, please, you must excuse me.”

Sara said “Please Itzel. Something is wrong, I can tell. Let me help you.”

But Itzel gained some strength, and pushed both of them toward the door, and said “I am sorry Sara. Please leave now.” and ushered them out the door.

“What do we do now?” asked Sara

“We go back to my house. We have to unlock your power today. And then we have to get back here by very soon, within a day or so at worst. I am sure she has the crystal, and its already starting to work on her. We haven’t much time.”

He took her back to his house, and led her through the garden to a spot she hadn’t noticed before. It was like a hole in the wall of the estate, except it looked more like a cave.

“This actually leads right to Lynn Canyon. But we don’t have to go that far. Just get out of the light, and we can begin.” he said

“You won’t get scared in the dark?” she teased

“I am surrounded by stone dear. Nothing is going to hurt me here.” he replied seriously. Besides, I have light.” and with that the diamond on the top of his cane started to glow and flicker like a torch.

Once in darkness, she tried to relax, and do what she had done earlier, and call on the darkness. This time, it was surprisingly easy. The darkness around her began to shape itself into a man-like figure, and it bowed to her.

“All right, show me what you can do!” she said

The shadow-creature raised a fist, and smashed a boulder in the middle of the cave with a single blow.

“Wow!” she exclaimed.

The creature spoke in a whisper and said to her “That is only a small sample, mistress”

“You speak?” she asked

“Yes, mistress. I can go anywhere there is a shadow, and listen, and tell you what I hear. I can carry heavy weights anywhere as long as its not in direct sunlight. You have only to ask, and I obey.”

Sara called to Gregory, and he came forward, and looked at the creature. “interesting” he said, “your power is slightly different than that of the last representative of the Dark.”

“How so?” asked Sara.

“She became a shadow herself. She became darkness personified.” said the creature.

Gregory looked at the creature, and said “that’s correct.”

“Can you help me against Itzel?” she asked.

“She is tapping great power mistress, or perhaps that power is tapping her” the creature replied, “But I will fight with you, if that is your wish.”

Just then, Gregory got a phone call, and after listening, he said to Sara, “I have to go to Seattle. If you would, keep an eye on Itzel, but don’t interact with her if you can avoid it.

You can access this place from any dark spot, all you need to do is create a door in your mind, and it will take you here. Keep practicing, and I will be back tomorrow, and then we will plan for how we can face this.”

Sara nodded, and Gregory went to a door, and she could see it was not the skyline of Vancouver, but instead she was sure it was Seattle instead.

“Travelling that way would sure save on gas.” she remarked

“It has its uses, but its not easy or without danger. I save it for emergencies.”
He replied.

Sara spent the rest of the night practicing with the shadow-creature, and then rested for a while, and then went to Chinatown to see if she could spot her former friend.

Keeping out of sight was easy enough, and she saw Itzel go out to the local market and come back. She looked worse than before, older, and without any care for her appearance at all.

That afternoon, Gregory came back and he had a beautiful woman with him. He said “We have a good chance in Seattle for a candidate, but she isn’t going to be ready in time to help us.

But I would like you to meet Aleese Sabana, who is our connection to the Green. Nature, if you wish to think of it that way. “

Sara had to stifle a moment of jealousy when this woman came forward and shook her hand, but soon found herself charmed by her, and together the three of them made plans for how to best proceed.

They decided to wait for sunset, and have Sara approach the front door again, while Gregory and Aleese would be at the back entrance.

The shadow-creature would enter from the skylight, unlock the back door for them, and then seek the crystal.

Gregory also spent time creating a diamond, and Sara asked what he was doing, and he said, “One of my gifts is the ability to prepare a stone as a vessel of what you might think of as magic. The higher the quality of stone, the better it will serve.

I wish the others were available, but they are in Egypt looking for the last recruit, one who will be able to control Light the way you can control Darkness.”

He then placed the diamond on the end of his cane. As soon as the sun set, they left, and headed back to the address in Chinatown. Once they were in position, Sara rang the bell.

Meanwhile, Gregory and Aleese waited at the back, and then they heard the lock move, and the shadow-creature opened the door. “I must return to my mistress” it said, the woman is wearing the crystal.”

Gregory and Aleese hurried in, and saw that Itzel had been transformed. She was now huge, and she had a grip on Sara’s wrist. “you cannot stop me, stone-man and plant-lady.”

“ I , Izanami No Mikoto, have returned, and I will have my vengeance on my so-called husband who abandoned me to Hell, and then on all males everywhere.”

Aleese came forward with her palms up, and said “Itzel, you are confused. The crystal you are wearing is tapping into your thoughts, taking what is in your head and making it real. You are not a goddess, and you need our help.”

Gregory said “let Sara go, Itzel, and give us the crystal. Its going to destroy you otherwise.”

Sara said, “Please Itzel. Trust him. He wants to help.”

The creature laughed, and said to Sara, “Him, help? Do you know what these two creatures are? Neither of you have any secrets from me. That creature . . .” and pointed to Aleese as she said it, “was born a male and has deluded himself into thinking that mere surgery can change him into a woman.”

“And as for this pathetic male you have chosen over me, he is a sissy who wears suits and cries because he can’t flounce around in a dress instead.”

“He told me his story Itzel, and it doesn’t change anything. I . . I love him anyway.” Sara said

“Love?” the creature said, “You can do more than summon shadows Sara. Look into his heart, and see the darkness there!”

Unable to resist, Sara looked at Gregory, and suddenly her expression changed to one of hate. “Come Itzel! Come with me” she said, and opened a door in the darkness and stepped through.

The creature started to follow, and turned and faced Gregory and Aleese, and said “Taiyo no masuta no aki ni yoru no kuna no mokugki-sha no ima aijin!” and went through the doorway, which closed and vanished.

Gregory moved to the space where the door had been and cursed. When he turned to face Aleese, there were tears in his eyes as he said “Gone. And now Sara thinks the worst of me.”

Aleese took his hand and said, “We will get her back. But my Japanese is rusty, what did Itzel say?”

“Now may the mistress of the night bear witness to the fall of the master of the sun” Gregory quoted.

“You mean she is headed for Egypt.” Aleese said.

“Yes. Now you must go back to Seattle and get that girl if you can. I will go to Egypt and meet the others there. Its clear this is going to take all of us.”

To be concluded . . .