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(aka Bike) Part 1661 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
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The alarm seemed to go off before I’d closed my eyes. Thank goodness it was Sunday, although, the government had purloined an hour from everyone by moving the clocks forward an hour. The reason for this, has nothing to do with daylight but in the secret agenda of saving supplies of sleep. Apparently, the cost of sleep on the international market has shot up. Of course our lot import it, we hardly make anything in the United Kingdom anymore, except a hash of things.
Now it looks like the petrol and diesel tanker drivers might come out on strike–so I expect we’ll see panic buying at the pumps. Instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I jumped out of bed, and dressed quickly and quietly. A few minutes later, I was in the car and heading to our nearest supermarket and filling up my tank with diesel and three plastic fuel carrier things. Well, I can hardly call them cans, can I?
Once back, I took Si’s car and did the same, then Daddy’s and the Mondeo, then lastly, Stella’s. I spent over two hundred pounds on fuel, but at least we all had full tanks–though they won’t notice.
It was now after eight, in British Summer Time (BST) or Greenwich Mean Time/ Universal time plus one hour. I let myself back into the kitchen, having closed the gates and put my diesel in the garage in a particularly cool spot, not that diesel is that flammable, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
No one seemed to be up. Even Tom was not about unless he’d gone out on foot–perhaps taken his mad mutt for a mooch. The stupid animal spends more time sniffing than walking.
I started shutting cupboard doors loudly and switched on the radio at a level above the usual level. I had to go to Classic FM because Radio 4 was doing the Sunday service, as in act of worship. Eventually, some sleepyheads emerged.
“Gosh it’s nearly half past eight,” I said after glancing at the clock, then boiling the kettle and finally, placing some bread in the toaster. By this time, three girls were fighting for my attention and the noise that made brought down Jacquie, followed minutes later by Danny who looked as if he was still awake.
“You’re up early, Mum,” yawned Danny.
“I’m not, and you’re later than usual.”
“No I’m not, it’s only eight o’clock, now.”
“It isn’t, darling, it’s nearly ten.”
“How can I be two hours behind everyone else?” Danny seemed totally fazed by it.
“Did you alter your watch last night?” I queried.
“Yeah, I put it back an hour, same as everyone else.”
“Not everyone, Danny, the rest of the country put theirs forward an hour.”
“Forward, Trish told me it was back.”
“It was a joke,” smiled Trish weakly.
“It wasn’t funny. I might have been playing football this morning.”
“Diddums, well make your own stupid decisions yourself, next time.”
“I knew the clocks changed, I just couldn’t remember which way.”
“That’s easy, in March they spring forwards, and in October they fall backwards.”
“Hey, that’s clever, spring in spring and fall back in autumn. Pity, Trish didn’t know it.”
“I did know it, I was joking you.”
“I think you mean, you were playing a joke on your brother?” I challenged.
“Yeah, well it’s all the same–innit?”
“Not quite, sweetheart, for reasons which I won’t go into now, it will only confuse the issue.”
I took a bite of my toast and while I was chewing, Livvie asked, “Is this about transitive and intransitive verbs, Mummy?” Once I’d stopped coughing, choked by my own toast, I nodded.
“Transitive? Aren’t those people who cross dress, Mum?”
“No, stupid, transitive means it’s a verb with a direct object,” Trish hurled at him.
“I’m not stupid, you’re the stupid one, putting the clock back an hour.”
“You did incorrectly use an intransitive verb, Trish,” I suggested to her.
“So bloody what?” with that she stormed off up the stairs nearly knocking Simon over as he came down them.
“What got into her?” he asked.
“She incorrectly used an intransitive verb,” said Livvie.
“She what? She’s seven years old...” he responded.
“Eight,” corrected Livvie.
“Okay, she’s eight years old, how the f...” he moderated his next word in view of his audience, ...lipping heck is she supposed to know the difference between a transitive and intransitive verb–I’m thirty five years old and I don’t know it.”
“It’s simple really, Daddy,” began Livvie, “transitive verbs have a direct object, like you saw Trish. Intransitives don’t, I joke, which was what Trish did wrong, she was joking someone, which you can’t do, it’s like dying, you can’t die someone.”
“Yes you can,” smiled Danny, “I could dye you pink.” He laughed and Livvie glowered at him.
“That’s a different dye, stupid.”
“Duh, so what, you said I couldn’t do it–I did.”
“That was cheating, Danny, you used a homophone.”
“I didn’t touch the phone, let alone a gay one.”
“Okay–that’s it, the breakfast table is not the place to discuss the finer points of grammar. So come on, just eat your breakfast and go and do something.” I finished my now cold toast and even colder tea. I enjoyed neither. Leaving Simon in charge, I went off to see where Trish was.
She was sitting on her bed reading the The Voyage of Charles Darwin, one of my books. “I didn’t know you had that book.”
“Sorry, I meant to ask. We’ve been doing Darwin in religious studies, and they keep saying it’s only a theory, evolution.”
“Okay,” I nodded, “So why didn’t you come to see me, I could have directed you to easier sources than that.”
“Nah, it’s quite nice actually, and has lovely pictures.” It was a BBC edition from 1978 when they apparently did a drama series on the life of Darwin, including his pivotal voyage aboard the HMS Beagle, when he began to formulate his theory of evolution through natural selection. I got the book in a second hand book shop.
“It says that Captain Fitzroy killed himself because he couldn’t cope with Darwin’s ideas. Is that right, Mummy?”
“Back in those days, when Darwin, supported by Huxley and others from the scientific lobby first published his theory, he was attacked by the church, who claimed the world wasn’t old enough to give the time for evolution to work. They used evidence including a very detailed calculation based on the Bible by Archbishop Ussher, who suggested that the world began in 4004 BC, he even gave the date–some time in October.”
“But I thought dinosaurs lived millions of years ago, Mummy?”
“They did, sweetheart, Ussher’s calculation is flawed because the Bible isn’t what they thought it was.”
“It’s a book, Mummy, what did they think it was?”
“Bible, means book, so yes it’s a book alright, but they claimed it was written by God.”
“Wasn’t it then?”
“Um–no. I could accept that it was written by various men who considered they were inspired by their God, but even that is pushing it. It’s based on an oral tradition, which means in the days before many people could read and write, people told their histories and traditions to each other by word of mouth–they told stories, which because they weren’t written down, could change in the telling over time.”
“But wouldn’t God make sure they told the truth?”
“I doubt that very much, considering the lies promulgated in his name ever since.”
“Oh. I thought it was true.”
“No, it’s very flawed, and only people who have a very simple view of religion, we call fundamentalists, believe it all to be written by god and gospel truth. None of it is, it’s all suffered at the hands of man, who may have had all sorts of axes to grind.”
“So is Darwin right and the Bible wrong, Mummy?”
“You can’t compare the two, sweetheart, Darwin’s theory was based on observation and experiment, the Bible is, as I said earlier, based on stories from long ago. There is increasing evidence to prove evolution, there is little to prove the Bible except bits of archaeology which may or may not prove the historical detail.”
“So the Bible is right in places?” I could see she was needing some solace on this matter.
“There’s some historical stuff in it which is probably right, but things like the creation and Adam and Eve, are just stories made up to explain where we came from because people didn’t know. Now we know, we evolved from a common ancestor with the apes, and various twigs off the hominid branch which eventually gave rise to Homo sapiens–although, it might be a wrong name for us, because we’re not very wise.”
“How about Homo stupidus, Mummy?” Trish chuckled.
“It might well be more appropriate, kiddo. C’mon let’s go down and sign a peace treaty with the others, eh?”
“Alright, Mummy.” She put the book down and we descended the stairs holding hands.
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Comments
Homo Stupidus...
It was nice seeing this pop up when I refreshed my screen. :-) Kept me from dealing with his royal highness (The dog) a bit longer... Luckily he doesn't really mind. (Actually - he'd rather eat his meals ten or twelve times a day - all the current size, mind you. Such a change from his predecessors in the house. LOL)
Yes, there are times I think that might be a better term for the species we share...
Trish is (almost) always a challenge, but then most very smart kids are challenges. Cathy does better with her than I expect I would... But, Cathy's got a lot of help (to get into and out of trouble.
Glad Cathy didn't come out and say the Bible was wrong - as that'd likely get Trish in trouble with one or more of the nuns.
Thank you for continuing this saga.
Annette
I'm sure a couple of members
I'm sure a couple of members of your household are convinced that Felis catus is the pinnacle of evolution, and that the subservient Homo sapiens evolved to, well, serve them.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
Thank you Angharad,
Loved the play on words,very clever.A bit like an old 'oldie ' I heard yesterday,
Koreans love their dog meat so it is said that the most popular pastime in Korea
is----'woking the dog'. Don't tell Tom!
ALISON
It seems...
...as though Livvie's not too far behind her adoptive sibling in the intelligence stakes. Meanwhile, "easier sources" - Trish appeared to be coping fine with that. It wouldn't surprise me if one day Cathy finds her nose buried in "On the origin of species" :)
On the subject of that book, Darwin had established his theory by 1838, but didn't write a formal paper or publish until 1858 when a fellow naturalist (and biogeographer) Alfred Wallace sent him an article he'd written for review, independently outlining his own ideas on natural selection. Suggested reasons for the delay include being busy working on other projects, fear of upsetting the religious authorities, fear of upsetting his pious wife, and/or collecting additional evidence. The book was started in 1854 and published in 1859, with subsequent editions including more / improved research and evidence, answers to criticisms - by the sixth edition Charles arranged with his publisher to sell it for half price (by printing in a smaller font).
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
On the Origin of Species
"by the sixth edition Charles arranged with his publisher to sell it for half price (by printing in a smaller font)."
- thus rendering it twice as hard to read as it was before ! :)
Like every biologist, I too have a copy of this work. Wallace's is harder to come by, but
I seem to remember reading it a long time ago, perhaps in the 6th form library.
Have you noticed how the English language, like species, evolves over time? When I was at school we had no difficulty at all in understanding Shakespeare's works, which we had to study in Eng Lit (after a fight with the Head of the school and some changing the timetable, I was allowed to do a mix of sciences and arts for my A levels, and cram in 5 of them) after I argued that one should be allowed to do both. Understanding Chaucer's Canterbury Tales did take more effort, but my grandchildren, who are pretty bright, tell me that Shakespeare is old fashioned and sometimes hard to understand.
Lots of words have completely changed their meanings in just 60 years - words like "gay", "cool", "fat", to name but three. Darwin's book when I re-read it today does seem to move along at a very slow pace, I guess reflecting the slower pace of things in the age in which it was written.
I wonder, these days we do everything faster, yet we have less and less time. Can anyone explain how that is please?
What a lovely family Lady Catherine has! Angharad, sometimes it is like being in a college discussion group - those kids are going to be fantastic when they are grown up. I dont know how you can do it, day after day, but I want to thank you from the bottom of my black heart for keeping this going.
.
Briar
Frightening.
It's quite frightening that this creationalism (Like sensationalism) crap is still being taught by bigoted idiots in certain parts of the world.
Even worse is the politicised scenarios surrounding the edict (Especially in a country like the good ol'e US of A.
In a few more decades, these stupid fundamentalist churches will be back to Ju-ju sticks and f-----g goat's blood!! Or runes and b----y bones.
Good chapter Angie but God help us if fundamentalism ever gets a toe-hold in the UK.
Long live hard rational science.
OXOXOX
Bev.
Don't be shy
We all know about the backwards bastions of creationism, especially in places like Texas in the US.
Kim
Naw, it could not be homo stupidus
More likely Homo Simpsonus or is that Homer Simpsonus, I get confused ;)
Trish continues on her rampage of trying to always be the smartest person in the room. The older she gets the more she'll realize that always trying to show other people up is a poor way to make friends.
Kim
Humans did their best ...
Even though I absolutely believe in Heavenly Father and his working in my life, I think the Bible is simply primitive man's best effort to explain things that he could not understand. Ezekiel is the funnest book. I think he saw a helicopter or something similar, who knows maybe one of the neat ones in "Avatar"? However people I used to associate with believe it was too sacrosanct to explain.
People tend to spend vast amounts of time debating the accuracy of the book, only to somehow ignore the most important truths and they are to love God and love one another.
Gwendolyn
real time
I'm with Danny .... backwards. Got my hour back finally and only at a small extra charge, less than a coffee a day you'll barely notice it.... cough, snore. Now we can all get some sleep. Lovely Autumn day by the way.
Never really saw the problem with evolution for religion. Yeah okay it shows up Adam and Evie as a parable story lesson type thing, but hey. I mean once the big man tossed open that galactic shaken not stirred jar and set the whirling dusts in motion he really can't just dip the finger in any time he likes can he. Ripples would be a problem, so it's sit back and watch. I would want to turn over the base of said jar though.. just to see where it's made ya know.
Kristina
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1661
Love the banter
May Your Light Forever Shine
I get so incredibly tired
of the "it's only a theory" claim by people who don't really understand what a scientific theory really is.
Cathy should be going to the school and giving the teachers a little hell for teaching "it's only a theory." Even a catholic school should be capable of teaching scientific method and once you understand that, and what it actually takes to be a scientific theory, the "only a theory" thing breaks down pretty rapidly.
Please, for creationism and intelligent design, we need to start saying, "it's only a myth", because its simply an elaborate construction based on mythology.
Enjoyed the word play!
I love how you create the interplay between characters. It is one of the highlights of my day.
I create living organizations. I have a unique perspective. Assuming there is a 'God' and that 'it' created Us, I propose that evolution is one of key the ingredients used to ensure survival of the species. As an analogy, any organization can be viewed as a living organism or life. (The US Supreme court seems to take this approach. giving them constitutional rights reserved for citizens.) Most organizations, as they grow, the world they live in changes. If they don't adapt, they experience hardships leading to death or dissolution. Now 'God' in 'it's' wisdom would incorporate a mechanism for 'its' creation to adapt and change. One mechanism for this is the creation of 2 biological sexes. (Creates variety) The ability to change and evolve insures survival of 'its' creation, is another. If one's creation can't change to meet unforeseen events/consequences, then one will become less optimal and eventually cease to exist. If 'God' created man and woman, then why aren't all men standardized at 6 Ft tall and weigh 180 pounds and all women 5'6" tall and weight 120 lbs? (arbitrary Standard) Variation in the species gives us the best chance to survive. Just look at the variety of Humankind. Reality says, we are here and need to live and adapt to a changing world, regardless if we were created "as is" or we evolved. It is such a Stupid Controversy. ( See Carlo M. Cipolla Laws of Human stupidity. on wikipedia -- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlo_M._Cipolla ) This is a good overview.
I'm off my soap box. I enjoy Cathy and her trials, tribulations and triumphs. Please continue this enlightening story. you have a great mix of introspection and action.
Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~
And here's the pitch...
Wow, now the kids are specializing in windup.
With Livvie's question, it looks like we have two braniacs in the family, though Livvie's ability is dwarfed by possibly the only 8 year old on the planet smarter than her :P.
Thanks for the continuation.
Great Episode
Oops, a duplication error
Great Episode
Angharad,
Thanks for continuing with your wonderful saga. I completed my usual read this morning, with a smile on my face.
This was a good ‘at home’ set of episodes with the family at its heart.
This was great reading and even better writing.
Love to all
Anne G.
Thank goodness
i am English, Not i hasten to add through any feeling of superiority , No its more the thought of learning a language where two words that have different meanings sound the same when spoken, If you add to that the words that are pronounced differently to how they read, Then you can see what an absolute minefield learning English must be... Its no wonder given the two problems (and i am sure there are many more )i mentioned that Simon has problems with transitive and intransitive verbs.... Believe me Simon you are not the only one...
Kirri
My opinion of the Bible
is even less kind than Cathy's. Still, I feel that there is more than what we see and think we know.
It is ironic that Cathy has 1st hand experience, in multiple duplicate, and still fights it. She is very thick on this subject.
If you really examine the bible and the origin of it's stories..
You will find that this book should be placed in the Fiction section of the library and should have the statement "This is a work of Fiction" printed on the cover. The bible has no basis in actual fact. The new testament is even worse since most of it was written over 70 years after the supposed events described in the gospels. I agree with Cathy on this one, wholeheartedly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUYRoYl7i6U&t=8s
Once Again
Cathy has got it wrong. I don’t necessarily hold with creationism, but I was taught growing up that the Bible was INSPIRED by God, the writers were supposedly guided by the Holy Spirit. It’s probably still wrong, but please get your facts straight! I am no longer a catholic, I have broken free of that trap, but Cathy paints with a very broad brush. Religion is responsible for a whole lot of bad in the world, but plain old non- religious people can be just as bad. Humans are easily manipulated; all it takes is a good manipulator.