Shimmer

Just a little slice of life from my teen years. Enjoy!

The package of nylons says that they are “nude”, but looking at them on my legs, I would say they’re something else.

A color I would call “Shimmer.”

I wiggle my toes for a moment, and then go hunting for the rest of my outfit for the next two days.

Two whole days without parents, by myself, so I can dress as I wish.

Be who I wish.

I slip into my mother’s room, put on her bathing suit.

I like it, because it gives me the illusion of having breasts.

And as I will never have real ones, an illusion is all I have ...

Once in the suit, I walk across to the neighbor’s house.

Like my folks, she is gone for the weekend, and gave me a key so I could feed her cat for her.

I feel bad for using that privilege to borrow one of her skirts, but this need in me can't be held back.

Once I add the skirt to what I’m wearing, I go back home and dig out a pair of mules my mom has seemed to have forgotten she owns, I add a bit of lipstick to my lips, a drop of perfume behind my ears, and I feel like I’m as close to being a girl as I can manage.

Unlike the guys in the crossdressing mags I’ve read, I dont masterbate.

I just .... breathe.

I watch TV, I make and eat food, I dont do anything special, honestly.

And the day passes.

I curl up on my mother’s bed to sleep, surrounded by the pink sheets, pink pillowcases, pink blankets, and pink curtains.

My mom has a thing for pink.

And because I’m her daughter (even if she thinks I’m her son), so do I.

I wake, have a bite of breakfast, go across to check on the cat, and come back to relax.

I play quiet games in my room, watch more tv.

Once in a while I look down at myself, see my legs encased in the shimmer, and I smile a smile I dont have when I’m a boy.

Finally, reluctantly, I realize that the time is running out, so I go back over to my neighbors and return her skirt, and then come home to take off the mules and bathing suit and put them back where I found them.

Then I go to my room and sadly take off the shimmery nylons, and hide them in my dresser before finding some pants, a shirt, and some socks so I look presentable when my parents return.

I had forgotten how ... heavy these clothes make me feel ...

I shuffle through a clean-up of the house, and then retire to my bedroom to read quietly until my parents come home.

And that night, I dream of a life where I can be the girl I know myself to be ....

Not knowing that the dream will actually come true, many years from now ....

End