Jake goes for help Chapter 2 - The Second Session

The next morning, Jake got a phone call from the rape crisis center, asking if he wanted to get an extra visit, he could come in that afternoon, and he said yes immediately.

He fiddled around the house until he could leave for the appointment, and then drove there as fast as he was able.

He entered the building, took a deep breath, and went into the office, and sat on a chair waiting to be called.

He didnt realize he had started hugging himself until his name was called.

Once again, Jake followed Jill into her office, and sat down.

“I’m grateful you could see me again so quickly.”

“It doesn’t happen often, but as I had a cancellation, I thought you might benefit from the short time between sessions.”

“I sure could. I see it happen again almost every time I close my eyes.”

“Flashbacks? Nightmares?”

“Nightmares for sure. What’s a flashback?”

“Its what you said. You replay what happened while awake.”

“Can I stop them?”

“In time. First, you will have to learn to ground yourself when they happen.”

“How do I do that?”

There are a number of things that might help. The key is to get your mind back into the present, and realize the event is not happening again. So close your eyes, and then open them, and mentally describe what you see - what colors, what shapes, are things still or moving. Then take a sniff, and see if you smell anything. then start listing what you can hear. And last, touch something, and make yourself aware of how it feels. “

“Then they will go away?”

“They may not, at least not for some time. But you can disable their power over you.”

“Power. This all comes back to that, doesnt it.”

“Yes. A rape victim loses their power, and needs to get it back This is true whether the victim is male or female. But perhaps a male might feel the loss of power more keenly. He is expected to be powerful, in control. So to lose that power, that control, its a tough pill to swallow.”

“It sure is. The worst part is, feeling like I should have done something, anything. Instead I just... let it happen.”

“There are three basic reactions to an unexpected situation. You can think of them as fight, flight, or freeze. You might have heard of a deer caught in the headlights? Its actually a very natural reaction to stay very still, in hopes that the predator misses you.”

“But why didn’t I choose fight instead? That seems like the more masculine reaction.”

“You may have instinctively realized fight would have failed.”

“I.... I guess it would have. They had guns, if I had resisted, they would have just shot me, or maybe my wife, or both of us.”

“Then it sounds like you made the correct choice. But we’ll have to deal with issues like blame and shame at your next session.”

“Okay, I guess. So what should I do until next week?”

“Let me give you some handouts on grounding. Work on it, and then we’ll progress from there.”

“All right. Thanks again for seeing me again twice so quickly.”

“Glad it worked out. See you a in a week?”

“Sure. although after that I should be back at work, and I’ll have to do some juggling.”

“You ready to go back?”

“I have to be. I’ll have used up all the leave I have available."

“But do you feel ready for that?”

“Like I said, I have to be.”

“Okay. Good luck.”

Jake shook her hand, and left. He made his way back to his own neighborhood, and stopped to pick up a handful of groceries at the nearby store first.

Once in the store, he cursed himself for not making a list of what they needed, He wondered around, picking up items and putting them back, and then when he got to the produce section, it happened.

He was in front of a display of cucumbers, and a flashback hit.

For a moment, he was lost in the memory of what happened, but then he remembered what the therapist had talked to him about, and he dug his nails into his hands, to break the connection to the past. Then taking a breath, he looked around the store, at the displays, he counted the shoppers nearby, and then went through the other senses. He smelled the bakery, he listened to the announcements on the P.A., and brushed his fingers against the wood of the display case in front of him, taking a breath between each step.

Once he was satisfied the flashback was not going to return, he went and got a pre-made frozen pasta meal for dinner, a carton of milk and a loaf of bread, and left the store.

He went home, put away the milk and bread and put the pizza in the oven for dinner, figuring it would be ready by the time his wife came home.

A half-hour later, Allison came home, and they shared the meal, and Jake told her about the counseling, and the grounding techniques he learned.

She tried them with him, and they both were smiling afterward.

They ended up sharing a bed that night, and even though there was no sex, it still felt good to Jake to be able to feel her near him.