(aka Bike) Part 1778 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad
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My mobile trilled and vibrated in my handbag. As I picked it out I was minded of what happened earlier when I did just that. It was the chief inspector.
“Mr Watts is lapsing in and out of consciousness, when he’s conscious he is still asking for his son. It’s in your court now, I’ve warned the hospital.”
“I’ll have a chat with Trish and see if she wants to go and see him, if she doesn’t, I’m not prepared to force her.”
“Fair enough–I’ll leave it with you then–while I go and have a little chat with the two morons they sent round to see you.”
I thanked him and called Trish.
“I’m not pretending to be a boy for anyone, Mummy.”
I looked at her: her long fair hair with a slight wave in it, the oval face with dimples and little freckles and her long sweeping lashes–she couldn’t pass as a boy if she tried. Then her slightly spreading hips and tiny waist, this was no boy.
“You don’t have to, however, it seems your biological father is dying and asking to see you, and I don’t feel inclined to want to turn down a dying man’s request. However, if you don’t want to go, I’ll understand.”
“I don’t know what to do, Mummy, I don’t remember him at all, he left her when I was born and I’ve never seen him since.”
“I wonder why he wants to see you now?”
“How would I know?” she said shrugging her narrow shoulders.
“Perhaps he wants your forgiveness for not being there for you?”
“How can I forgive someone I’ve never seen?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do we have to make him better?”
“I don’t think we can, Trish.”
“But you can make anyone better–can’t you–like Jesus did?”
“Trish, I am no son of god or whatever Jesus was, I don’t claim any magical powers and I am certainly no messiah or whatever the female equivalent is. The best I could hope to do is to make his death easier for him.”
“What’s wrong with him, Mummy?”
“Multiple organ failure which began as testicular cancer–it’s gone to his brain.”
“Perhaps he won’t remember I was a boy?”
“Perhaps–I don’t know–will you see him or not?”
“What d’you think, Mummy?”
“I think you have to make your own mind up on this one. Whatever you want to do is okay with me–you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”
“But you think I should?”
“I’m not saying anything,Trish.”
“I wish you would, Mummy. It would help me decide.” She took hold of my hand. “You would come with me?”
“Of course.”
“And stay with me.”
“Unless you told me otherwise.”
She took in a massive breath and let it out with a sigh. “Okay,” she said and squeezed my hand.
An hour later, I was holding her hand as we entered the ICU. I’d made her tidier and possibly more girly, she had on a sun dress and I put her hair in two plaits. She looked like any normal eight year old female–which was how I hoped I treated her.
“I’m scared,” she said in a tiny voice.
“So am I,” I said back in a whisper.
“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” she said a little louder and squeezed my hand again. It’s always puzzled me how we can be braver for others than we can for ourselves, but that was one of the anomalies of being human and this bizarre quality called altruism.
We presented ourselves at the nurse’s station. “He’s already got a visitor, I’ll tell her to go and get a cuppa for half an hour.” The way the nurse said this suggested that this was either his mother or Trish’s. I wondered which, but we didn’t see her leave. The nurse returned and led us to the bed in which this emaciated piece of humanity lay. He probably weighed about six stones (84lbs) and his skin and whites of his eyes had a yellow tinge suggesting liver problems.
“James, your daughter Patricia has come to see you?” announced the nurse to the barely conscious man.
He looked over at us, “I thought I had a son.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then they opened again, “You’re a pretty little thing aren’t you?”
Trish clung onto my hand and she was practically shaking with emotion. “Hello, Daddy,” she said in a wavering voice.
“Hello, daughter,” he said and held out his hand to her. She took it but didn’t release her other one which was still clamped to mine in a death grip. As soon as she touched him I felt a surge of power pass through me and into her and presumably into him. His expression froze and his eyes bulged. “Jesus,” he said quietly.
“No, Daddy, Trish.”
He looked at her startled before he digested what she said, then he lay back and laughed loudly. “God, you make me feel better, girl.”
“No, that was Mummy.”
“I’ve just been talking to your mother, who’s this lady?”
“How did you know she’s a lady?”
He roared again, “I might be dying, kiddo, but I can still tell a bit of high class totty when I see it.”
“I’m Cathy, Trish’s adopted mother.”
“Pleased to meet you,” he nodded at me, “You take good care of my kid now, won’t you?”
I nodded, although I felt like asking him why he wanted to see her when he’d been happy to ignore her for the previous eight years, but this wasn’t for me, it was I hoped some closure for both of them.
The energy boost he’d had would help him stay alert for our stay and be able to cope with his surprise.
“This is my mummy, now, Daddy. She’s a real lady, Lady Catherine.”
He took a moment to digest this as well, “No kiddin’?”
I nodded again.
“You done well then, kiddo. Give your old dad a hug and kiss.”
He threw open his arms but Trish looked at me before she did so. He looked so weak and she was buzzing with the energy I’d pushed into her as she let go my hand that once again he exclaimed as they made contact. However, he hugged her kissed her on the cheek and then let her go. I saw tears flow down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, kiddo. Looks like you were for me. Thanks for coming.” He looked suddenly very tired. “Thanks, f’ bringin’ her,” he gasped to me and lay back on the bed.
Trish grabbed my hand and squeezed it so tightly it hurt. “Is he...?”
“No,” I said quietly, “he’s exhausted.”
“Is he going to...”
I nodded.
“Could you save him?”
I shook my head.
“Goodbye, Daddy,” she said and kissed him on the cheek.
His eyes remained closed but his mouth smiled.
We left the unit and the nurse thanked us for coming, “He’ll die easier now.”
We both nodded and as we left Trish turned and hugged me and began to cry.
Comments
Last Rites
Angharad,you have often amazed me with your ironic humor and straight up way of looking at the dragon. But this Part simply glows with the substance of family and parental love. I felt every moment right down to my toes. Good on ya!
Jeannie
jmacaulay
Thanks!
That was deeply touching...
Thank you
Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1778
Meeting her Birth Father has changed Trish in ways we have yet to see. But was that other Lady her Birth Mother, or the Shekinah Glory getting him ready for meting his daughter?
May Your Light Forever Shine
Thank you
I needed a good cry.
Portia
Goodbye, Daddy
Trish cried,I cried and suddenly felt very sad.This was a very moving episode,thank you for sharing the Cameron family with us.
devonmalc
I agree with the others,
this was still quite a moving piece. Maybe we, I, still got some 'daddy sweetness issues' then, no?
Oh well, I liked it a lot. Still baffles me some though, the way I can sometimes enjoy a good cry as much as a laugh... It's really puzzling, but I enjoy it nevertheless. Even more so if I see the confusion of some good dear friends when I'm sopping away, and answer with 'Yes, I'm tearing up, but it's just so lovely. Don't you see?' *grin*
Oh, and I read your blog entry about nearing the 1800, and yes! Please continue. For as long as you can squeeze some enjoyment out of it, please keep writing.
Thank you, Jo-Anne
Closure
Perhaps the request was his means of making peace with the world before he died? It would also explain asking to see Trish's biological mother (his ex) as well. Meanwhile, the energy boost from Trish / Cathy is probably designed to make the end more of a cliff than a slope - instead of dying in agony he'll lapse into unconsciousness then die unaware.
I still wouldn't be in the least bit surprised if there's something at least for Trish in his will (albeit under the name Patrick, so there may be a little legal wrangling over that). Hmm... I wonder if they'll bump into Trish's biological mum en-route out of the hospital... of course, even if they do it's possible Trish won't be recognised as she's changed a bit since being deposited at the children's home all those years ago...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Thank you, Ang, that was a
Thank you, Ang, that was a wonderfully moving chapter.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
And this is why
I look forward to 'Bike'. This episode is so touching.
Angharad, you have an amazing ability to lead us from humour to tears in the space of a minute. I still regularly chuckle at some of the repartee between Cathy and Stella. By total contrast, there were the episodes following Stella learning of Des's death.
As I say; "You keep writing, I'll keep reading."
S.
Similar experience with my own father.
I did not meet my birth father until I was 27 years old, and my first reaction to him was very hostile. Later on we met again and had the chance to spend two weeks together. It was very healing and I had similar questions of him. I now have pleasant memories of him.
Much peace
Gwendolyn
Preventable
A little research shows that testicular cancer can easily be spotted and readily treatable if caught early. Men do not tend to go to doctors much though.
At least she got to say goodbye. What is the reason for this interlude though? That is what is puzzling to me at this point.
I for one am looking forward to Bike 2000 one day! That calls for a Major celebration imho.
Kim
The importance of goodby
The importance of goodby can not be underestimated especially with this death. TRISH will remember this for a very long time and her giving to her dad will end a long chain of negative karma between him and her. All most all parents want to know there child will be OK when they are gone especially when the child is so young. He goes in peace knowing his child is well taken care of.
Now is this to be a clean git away or will they need to deal with mom.
With those with open eyes the world reads like a book
And how old is he?
Trish has also had a chance to find closure on one issue affecting her life. Nice images Ang.
Thanks.
Bev.
OXOXOX
A very mature thing for Trish to do...
“Goodbye, Daddy,†she said and kissed him on the cheek.
I found that the most moving part of this episode (sequence of episodes). Trish recognized that with a small gesture she could ease his pain and give herself a measure of peace. She may not consider this man her Daddy but she helped him.
I can't help but wonder why he asked for the child he'd abandoned years ago.