Understanding Rachel, Part 3

Rachel bounced home, feeling giddy. She slipped out of her unisex pants and shirt, and put on a pink robe , reveling in how it felt against her growing breasts.

“I have to call Tayna with the good news.” She thought, and so picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she heard

"Hey girlfriend." Squealed Rachel.
.
"Oh hey Rachel and its Martin. I am a boy can't you tell?"

"Oh my god!" Rachel giggled.

Dropping to her normal voice Tonya replied" What's so funny?"

“That voice. Is that supposed to be a butch voice?”

“Well, pilgrim, sure.”

“Needs work girlfriend. It just sounds like a girl with a cold. You wanna hear what a guy sounds like?” Rachel dropped her voice back down to where she used to talk, “This is how a guy sounds.”

“But I cant do that!”

“Dont know why you’d try. Its more fun to be a girl. After all, we’ve got the cookies.”

“You and your cookies. I’m upset about work.”

“ What’s going on hon?”

“My boss’s nephew came in and asked me why I wasnt in a woman’s uniform. Then he had them send me some skirts and blouses. He wants me to start wearing them to work!” Tayna cried.

“That’s wonderful! I wish I could wear skirts on my job. You’re so lucky!”

“But I’m a guy!”

“Nobody else gets that impression hon. Just join the fem parade it will be a blast!”

“You’re being mean. Besides, my dad says I’m a guy. He’d know, wouldnt he?”

“So he’s delusional. Besides, you’ve told me he treats you like a girl and has to fight to think of you as a guy.”

“But...I cant be a girl!”

Rachel softened her voice again, and said, “I’m sorry sweetie. If I thought for a miniute you’d actually be happy as a guy, I’d back you a hundred percent. But you arent exactly taking a lot of steps indicating thats the direction you want to go. You wear makeup every time you go out, you are in a skirt more than I am. Instead of trying to please your dad, why dont you please yourself?”

“Because i’m SCARED, Rachel! Every time I’ve let my inner girl out I’ve gotten hurt. I got RAPED for God’s sake. If I dont fight the urge to be a girl, every second of every day I ... I ...”

“I’m so sorry sweetie. Am I making it worse? Maybe I shouldn’t tease you so much. .”

“No, sweetie. You’re good for me. I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me too. And this friend got some amazing news!”

“What?”

“My ex isnt going to keep me from seeing my kid even if I transition. my biggest barrier left is gone gone gone!”

“That’s fantastic news! To think, not long ago you told me this whole thing had to be impossible. What’s next?”

“Gender therapist again, and then name change. But this is why I worry about you hon. You sound so much like what I was before I started this. If you’d asked me then, I would have insisted I was a guy with an addiction to dressing and acting like a girl. And hiding and lying cost me so much, in fact it almost killed me. I’d hate for you to make the same mistakes I did.”

“I know hon. That’s why I dont really mind you teasing me.”

“Good. So what are you going to do about work?”

“I.. I dont know.”

“Well, big hugs from me while you think about it.” Rachel looked at the clock and said, “But I should go get dressed again. Kid will be here soon.”

“Take care, Rachel, And congratulations.”

“Bye wonderful girlfriend!”

“Bye, you crazy girl, you.”