Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1659

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1659
by Angharad

Copyright © 2012 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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Eventually seven o’clock came and we got up. I let Livvie come in the shower with me. “Will I get hair there one day?” she asked pointing at you know where.

“I expect so, most women do, although some remove it.”

“What, they shave it off?” she sounded horrified.

“Or have it waxed.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt, Mummy?”

“Probably, I’ve never tried it myself.”

“Why do they do that?”

“Personal preference, like having your hair different colours, or having tattoos, or wearing certain clothes. Some women think it’s sexy, or their men-folk do.”

“They have their wotsits waxed ’cos their men like it?”

“They might do.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever have a man folk then.”

“Could be a wise step, Liv, especially if you’re working down the meat packing plant. You’d probably have to get tattoos–you know a tramp stamp or whatever they call it.”

“I’m not going to work down there, I’ll go on the game first,” she announced and I squeezed the shower gel so hard it shot out all over us.

“Where did you hear that? Going on the game?”

“Oh, my old mother used to say it all the time to daddy.”

“D’you know what it means?”

“No, what does it mean, Mummy?”

I should have ignored it. “It means becoming a common prostitute.”

“Isn’t that someone who isn’t a catholic?”

I was still sloshing away all the shower gel so we didn’t slip and break our necks, so she didn’t hear me suppressing the urge to guffaw. Wait till Simon hears that one and it wasn’t Trish.

“I think you mean protestant, Liv.”

“Oh yeah, I knew it was something like that, so what’s a common prosecute?”

“Prostitute–a person–usually a woman who sells her body for money.”

“What like so much a kilo?”

I was beginning to wish I’d stayed in bed listening to John Humphrys. “Not quite, they sell their bodies for men to have sex with them.”

“Ugh,” she wrinkled up her nose. “What’s that mean?”

“I think I’ve told you quite enough young lady, now what does Trish want for her birthday?”

“A play station.”

“Oh, does she?”

“Yeah, that’s what she told me she wanted.”

“Not one of those Wii things?”

“Oh, I dunno, I’ll check. I like those, ’cos you can play tennis and things, can’t you, Mummy?”

“So I believe.”

“I think she wants GTA.”

“GTA?”

“Yeah, Grand Theft Auto, you know you steal cars and shoot cops an’...”

“Somehow, I doubt she’ll get that game, I’ll have to see what’s suitable for an eight year old girl,” who also happens to be brighter than the people who write these games.

We dried and dressed and then I roused the others and got them showered and dressed and down for breakfast. Livvie isn’t any more subtle than Trish, they were sitting at the kitchen table scoffing their breakfast cereals when Livvie asked her sister, “Mummy wants to know what you want for your birthday.”

“I told you, a PS3 and GTA.”

“I’m not sure you’re old enough to play it, Trish, it has an age recommendation of above fifteen, I think.” It’s also quite expensive.

“That’s what I want.”

“I want world peace but I’m unlikely to get it,” I said back to her.

“I thought you wanted a date with Johnny Depp?” she threw back at me.

“Not since I learned he smoked.”

“Does he? Ugh,” she commented. “He didn’t smoke in Pirates, did he?”

“Not while they were filming, but I heard he rents a private jet when he flies anywhere so he can smoke in it.”

“That’s not very nice, is it, Mummy?” Livvie had opinions too.

“I don’t think so, but possibly his wife or girlfriend doesn’t mind.”

“I don’t wike peopew who smoke,” making it unanimous.

“Who?” asked Danny just arriving at the feed station.

“Mummy said Johnny Depp smokes.”

“Well he’s stupid then,” was my son’s opinion, “we done a thing on it last term.”

“We did, Danny, not we done,” I rolled my eyes.

“Okay, we did a project on it last term. Tobacco has dozens of tars and other horrible stuff which clogs up yer lungs and poisons you. It causes cancer, too.”

“Woss cancer, Mummy, asked Trish.”

Ask me an easy one, Trish. “It’s a disease which is caused by cells in the body reproducing too quickly, and they form tumours which can kill you if they get into vital organs.”

“Woss a tuma?”

“A tumour is a lump in the body which shouldn’t be there. They can be cancerous or non-malignant.”

“Non what?”

“A cancerous tumour is called a malignant one because malignant means bad or evil, because it can be life threatening. A non-malignant one isn’t so bad unless you get one on the brain or in some other organ where just it growing causes pressure and then either that causes damage or blocks something or causes pain.”

“That sounds as bad as the ignorant one,” offered Livvie.

“C’mon, eat up, we have to get to school yet.” Jacquie arrived with Catherine and gave her some cereal for her breakfast in the high chair whilst I chivvied the three mouseketeers to the car.

I would need to cost the PS3 and some games–I really didn’t think Grand Theft Auto was suitable for an eight year old girl, even one who’s as exceptional as Trish. Then we have Livvie a little after hers, so it’s going to be an expensive time for the next month or so.

I returned from the school run, having picked up some extra milk from the local shop, I couldn’t be bothered to go into a supermarket, and although they’re nominally cheaper, by the time I’ve remembered a dozen other items I could buy, I haven’t saved anything. So paying a bit extra for the milk might have saved me something.

Jacquie was bathing Catherine who was squealing as she splashed water everywhere, and as she was making such a good job of it, I left her to it. Stella was also around somewhere but, she’s about as much use as a colander to a sinking boat.

I was organising some tea to drink with the cakes I’d just bought for the three of us when the phone rang. I went to answer it. It was Jason, they’d got a review of the conviction with the Court of Appeal. I was grateful for his progress and thanked him. I’d asked James to liaise with him regarding any evidence he found which they could use to bolster our case, and apparently James had found one or two useful things, including some further suspicions regarding the priest and the doctor involved in Jacquie’s abuse. I was hopeful that we could perhaps provoke an investigation of both men by the authorities, both should be struck off by their professional bodies and not allowed near children again. If criminal investigations demonstrated that they had been guilty of abuse either during their time at the YOI or since, then they could have substantial prison sentences coming their way too–and that for me, would be the icing on the cake and hopefully give Jacquie some closure.

Things were looking up–possibly.

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Comments

Malapropisms

Oh I love the kids malapropisms. They're gems!

As to Jaqui's circumstances, I'm not sure she'll ever find closure for an act as brutal as that.

Poor kid!!!!!

Good chapter Angie. Dunno' how you do it.

OXOXOX

Bev.

bev_1.jpg

Things were looking up—possibly.

"Things were looking up—possibly."

But with this family, you never know, Well, maybe Bonzi knows, but he's not letting on.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

It's amazing

Its amazing what distracts you when you're carving up people's trotters.

“It means becoming a common prostitute.”

“Isn’t that someone who isn’t a catholic?”

Priceless!

S.

Money well spent

.... if the 'priest' and 'doctor' can be brought to heel.

Personally I think Trish is lucky to be in a household with a lot of girls her age as it gives her a social education.

Kim

'colander to a sinking boat',

'colander to a sinking boat', is that like a screen door in a submarine?
Love the play on words, as they say 'kids say the cutest things'.

So does Bonzi ...

... say the darndest things, too.

Some of the plays on words are what continue to make Bike so durn readable.

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

What Bonzi says

Angharad's picture

depends upon what Bonzi wants, and as his paw maiden, I'm supposed to read his mind and have whatever it is ready for when he comes in. If not - he squeaks, well okay, mews. First of all they're squeaky then become louder and longer. Going from a high pitched riaow, to RIAOW-RIAOW-RIAOW. If that doesn't work, things start to get broken or knocked over - like cars, telegraph poles, trees, houses etc. He's quite a loving little boy really - when in a good mood.

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Angharad

Those kids

are awesome. Its hard to remember the age of the conversant when you are covering college level topics with them, and then hear a kisp from out of no-where. I love this. Cath should just start taking the baby in the shower with her,,,,it would save time all around. She ought to satrt talking in full sentences any week now.

Caveats

"Things were looking up - possibly."

Knowing this family, it'll be two steps forward, one and a half backward (especially if the police officer who investigated the original case - or someone associated with him - blabs to the press). Still, hopefully with the love and support of the family, Jacquie will be brave enough to face down all the trials and tribulations ahead and will not have to give personal testimony.

Meanwhile, it'll be interesting to see what Trish is given for her birthday - evidently not GTA IV (the current version). Incidentally, all games in the series have a BBFC 18 certificate.

Incidentally, the developers of that series were also responsible for unleashing Lemmings on an unsuspecting world - no, not the creatures of the tribes Lemmini and Arvicolini; but the sprites with green hair and blue floor-length jumpers who, given half a chance, will merrily walk into a death trap, over a cliff, or into lava...

SimCity 4 may also prove enjoyably taxing - building a city of healthy, happy Sims while trying not to get into debt. Although the game was released back in 2003, its popularity is such that it still has very active player communities (multi gigabyte plugin folders are quite common), it's now been released on Steam, and the developers have finally agreed to work on SC 5 (after their attempts at a vastly simplified sequel in the form of SimCity Societies bombed).


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Kids Ask...

Kids ask the darndest questions...

Every now and again, our answers can turn out to help them... I recall a time, last fall, taking my daughter to school and happened to mention a bit of trivia... Turned out she had a spot quiz in social studies (World History) and the answer helped her get an extra bit right. (She doesn't complain about me talking about strange stuff so much... LOL)

As to the game - My oldest wanted a Play Station as well... She also wanted an XBox... We already had a Wii (Wii Fit actually helps, if you use it...). How'd we get around the issue? Found someone selling an old Nintendo Game Cube with a stack of games (many of which can actually be played on the Wii)... Some were classics. She's had a blast with it! And, laughed over the old fashioned graphics. So, a thought... Trish might find an "antique" gaming system "fun". Heck, if Cathy can find an old Commodore 64 that's still working - writing games for it might get Trish started on a money making career... When she jumps to flash or some other tool for coding games.

Another thought - a game "emulator" for her laptop... Letting her play games from many of the older game systems... (My older kid does this. Who knows, Jacquie may know something about this... A hidden skill she picked up when nobody was beating up on her.

Thanks,
Annette

While it may not give Jacquie closure,

Wendy Jean's picture

I suspect she would sleep better knowing those two will never butcher another girl child (or bother her) again.