Here comes the Troubleshooter!

Entry 1: I cant argue with Carl, at least not about this. He thinks its a good idea to write down my cases, both for myself, and possibly as a way to get business. I’m not a professional writer, but I’ve done enough incident reports that I’ll give it my best shot.

So where do I start? Well, today’s case was pretty typical of what I do now. I had a client who wanted a drug den moved out of her neighborhood, so I spent a couple of days doing recon on the place, figuring out the best way to .... convince them moving would be a good idea.

Now if I was still the old me, I wouldn’t have worried two cents about drug dealers. I mean, if you’re stupid enough to take drugs, you’re just taking up space in the gene pool, so who cares? But as the saying goes, that was then, this is now.

Once I had made my recon, I put on my uniform, and get busy. The place looks like a typical three bedroom, one floor house, but they’ve reinforced the door, and I’m pretty sure the windows have been replaced with bullet-proof glass. Its only got one real weak spot, so I wait for a tweaker to come to to the door, and slip in behind him.

Once I’m in the door, I toss a special toy created by Carl into the main room. Its a customized version of the flash-bang devices police use, and it does the job nicely. It pops off a loud noise and bright light like the police version, but then it does much more. It produces a continual scream, flashing lights, and as a last touch, tear gas.

Within a minute the people inside the house are totally off balance, and that allows me to do my thing. There’s about a dozen people in the main room, mostly tweakers who aren’t going to be a problem. But there are three guys with sidearms, and one dude with a shotgun, so I move fast.

Spin heel kick takes out shotgun dude, then judo flip throw handles one guard who makes the mistake of reaching for me instead of his weapon. I leap over to guard two, and take him out with an elbow to the solar plexus followed by a uppercut to chin with the heel of my hand.

Last guy has got his weapon out, so I take out a throwing star and hit him in the wrist with it, forcing him to drop the gun. I pull out my sword, and get the guys attention by putting it an inch from his crotch, which puts the breaks on any ideas of resistance he might have had.

“Downstairs.” I shout into his ear, and soon we are headed for the basement.

Once down there, I say “Where are the drugs? And if you try to lie to me you’ll lose your family jewels.”

He points to the freezer, and I smile, even though he cant see it behind the mask covering the lower half of my face.

I cuff him to a pipe, and go to the freezer. I take out a layer of Hungry Man dinners, and then hit the jackpot.

I go back over to the guy, and put my blade to his neck.

“Can you hear me?” I ask him politely.

He squeaks out “Yes.”

“Good. I have a message for you to take to whoever runs this house. Move out of this neighborhood. Or I’ll be back.”

I then pull out a napalm grenade out of my bag, and toss it into the freezer.

I’m up the stairs and out the door by the time it goes boom.

I do a zigzag course back home, and sneak into the garage, where we keep my hero stuff. I hang up the belt and the bag, and strip off the suit. Its a marvel, one of Carl’s best works - light as anything, smooth as silk to my skin, and yet tough enough to turn a blade or stop a bullet.

I pull off the black wig, and remove my DD padded bra (gives guys somewhere to look other than my face), and then my jockey shorts (Yeah, I like men’s briefs. Got a problem with it?) Then I slip off my gaff, and let my little soldier breathe again.

I take a peek at myself in the mirror, and shake my head. Even with a buzz cut and no makeup I look like a girl with something extra between her legs, just like I have for the last year, since my encounter with a goddess left me with a curse.

I take a quick shower, and go upstairs, to where Carl is making me dinner. Even in bare feet he hears me coming, and turns and smiles at me. He’s a big guy, and even though he isnt a soldier anymore he still carries himself like one.

Dumb-ass “Dont ask, dont tell” policy ended his military career, but he seems happy now.

“How did it go? Or considering how horny you look do I even need to ask?”

I blush a bit, realizing that both my breasts and my male equipment are at full attention. “It went great. And yes, I’m randy as hell now.”

“Well, supper is ready, you should eat first.”

“As long as I get you for desert.”

What follows after food isnt for public consumption, but lets just say both of us will be walking funny for a while.

He’s dropped off to sleep with a smile still plastered to his big mug, while I try and wind down on my own. My stamina is beyond human, so what exhausted him only made me slightly less amped up, so this is the perfect time to type this out on the computer.

Beyond human.

I’m still getting used to that.

Suddenly, I do feel sleepy, so I’ll sign off for now. Maybe next time I’ll tell the story of how I ended up being who I am now.

But no promises.

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