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The Good,
The Bad,
and the Not So Attractive...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNc4TBOBaw0&feature=fvst
Sometimes I feel like I'm in my own movie, complete with music and all sorts of good stuff. Anyway, yesterday was one of those days. First:
The Good!
My son graduated yesterday from his Radiography program. He received an award for Best Patient Care, and the Head of the Department said that he'd gotten kudos from the professional staff and even patients at the hospitals where he practiced. On Tuesday the head of the Radiography Department at the foremost Diagnostic Hospital in Manhattan invited him for a job interview on Monday. She was impressed enough with his interactions during the seminar that she bumped him to the head of the line. My proudest moment as a parent, all this left me in tears. My wife's sister and her husband took us out to dinner, leading to:
The Bad!
The morning was kind of scary; I discovered blood in my urine I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning, along with my physical therapy and chiropractic (great medical practice). Still, it's frightening until I find out what's going on. Later at dinner, I had to use the restroom, and I had a flashback on the way back to the table. The decor in the hallway by the restrooms was a near duplicate of the hallway at the apartment where I was abused. Dark walnut doors and trim, dirty-looking faux stucco, and an display of antique glass doorknobs. I walked back into the bathroom and had a very huge brief cry before rejoining the family. While I was in the bathroom, I looked in the mirror, leading to:
The Not So Attractive...
Having to face myself in the mirror was very painful for two reasons. First, as many of us might feel, I looked at my 'real' image with sad disappointment, realizing that I might look like 'that' forever, which led to more tears. But I also took a look at myself and realized I didn't like the person I saw; I wasn't happy with some of my comments lately, and I did want to apologize for offending folks; enough said of that besides that I am sorry.
So there you go! A very long day today. My fibro has flared up but the physical therapy seems to be helping the vertigo. I'm making great strides in therapy, and I'm glad to be here. I'd just like to be able to pick and choose which movie I want to be featured in. Thanks for caring! Andrea
Comments
Oh Andrea, first off...
*Great Big Hugs* We all have rough patches but you've borne a whole lot of things that would have taken a lot of people down far before now. I've always found you to be a caring, loving, wise and compassionate woman. I'm proud to know that woman and consider her a friend.
*More Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
I dont think I have ever experssed
just how much your support has meant to me, 'Drea. You have been there with me through flashbacks and moments of self-hatred, just like the ones you have described for yourself. I wouldn't be where I am without you. Now, as for the health issues, the flashbacks and the tears, know you have my prayers constantly. Super hugs, sis.
Dorothycolleen
Schlep Naches, Cystiscope, Sister, Aunt, Mom even Grandmom
RAMI
Dear Andrea:
1st. There is a yiddish expression, it is To Schlep Nachas: When your son graduates with honors from a difficult radiology program and immediately gets a job interview, the parent schleps naches. There is no exact translation, but basically it means to get a significant amount of pride and joy from a child's accomplishments that also reflects on excellant parenting. So Mazel Tov and may you and Tracey continue to Schlep Naches from you son.
2nd. Blood in urine can be many things. I had a similar situation about a year ago. Went to the Urolgist and needs a cystiscope. Not a pleasant test put it revealed nothing to worry about. It could be a small kidney stone or something else trying to pass through the urine. Best thing is to relax, and not loose too much sleep (a little is okay). As my doctor said to me about 95% of cases are totally benign. Less the .5% are significant. If you feel comfortable speaking to your son, he might have some ideas about this.
3rd. Don't let things get you down. I am not sure what comments you may be talking about, but by far and away your comments are among the kindest on this site. When you get depressed you are too hard on yourself. That is not good for you or your many friends here. Just look on this site, I do not see to many other authors being called, mom, aunt, grandma, sister, by their friends here.
Dear friend be the best you can be.
RAMI
RAMI
That's Scarey
I certainly hope that the blood is not the sign of anything serious, and don't want to guess what it might indicate. Hopefully, it is minor and treatable.
I know you are proud of your son. He's a reflection of how you care for others.
Get well.
Portia
Portia
My dearest Andrea,
ALISON
How could Joe not succeed with the parents he has in you and Tracey.Please give him my congratulations for excelling in such a difficult field.
As for you,dear friend,I also can not understand what you are saying about your comments,you are without doubt the most caring person I know of,full of warmth,feeling and empathy for the rest of
us. You have encouraged me every inch of the way in my journey and without you Alison would not exist today,and I mean that sincerely.You have saved my life and I will always be in your debt.
You have nothing to apologize for.I love you dearly,my friend and mentor,you are a most exceptional
woman.Much love,Alison.
ALISON
Wow!
There are too many excellent comments here! So all I will say is that I and many others support and love you as much as we can. Please accept my appreciation and respect, and I'll send a few prayers up for you!
Wren
Smoke on the Water
Three years ago I went to a physician when I found blood in my urine.
He was callously indifferent stating, "People read too many things online. It rarely means anything!"
In my case I had been taking two aspirins a day to prevent heart attack, at my cardiologist request. When I cut back to a baby aspirin a day the blood disappeared.
I hope your problem is as simple.
By the way -- as I prefer my doctors not to have the bedside manner of the Comic Book Guy I've never gone to him again. "Worst doctor ever!"
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Thank you for sharing how
Thank you for sharing how feel. You are not alone! And I also want to add my encouragement to all the nice comments allready posted here.
Congratulations to your son for his graduation, and also the invitation for a job interview!
Hopefully you can get your health issues sorted in a satisfactory manner and time.
Jessica