After taking way too long of a break, I just had to answer Rasufelle's Writers' Challenge. The silly little ditty just wouldn't give me any peace until I wrote it down.
Alexandra and the Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day.
by Ray Drouillard
Yesterday, just before I walked out the door, my boss told me to come in early for a meeting. I just knew it would a Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day. Maybe I should run away to Australia.
The next morning, I fell out of bed when the alarm jarred me awake. It was already starting to be a Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day.
I went into the shower and found that my roommate had used up all my conditioner. When I turned the shower on, there was no hot water. I shivered so hard that my left breast form came loose. I cut my right leg and my chin while shaving. I stubbed my toe.
I was really having a Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day.
I accidentally glued my breast form to my bra. My hair was so tangled it took forever to fix it. I got mascara in my eye. My toe was purple so I couldn't wear my favorite sandals. My gaff was too tight and my balls ached. My roommate had borrowed my best skirt suit.
I think I'll move to Australia.
Everyone stared at me because I was the last one to walk into the meeting room. All of my favorite donuts were gone. The coffee was decaffeinated. Those creepy scientist guys were leering at me.
We went down to the subbasement into their lab. They told us all about their nano-whatsis project, but they were talking in Greek or something. One of the guys was looking at my boobs and he tripped and spilled this gray gunk all over me.
I just knew it was going to be a Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day.
I woke up on a cot in the laboratory. My balls didn't ache. A creepy scientist guy 'accidentally' brushed one of my breasts.
I felt it.
Maybe it's not such a bad day, after all.
Comments
Where Do You Get It?
Without giving away your punchline....Tell me,
Please,
Joanne
Woo Hoo!
Bad luck, bad luck, bad luck... bad luck?
A definite pick 'em up at the end. They need any volunteers for testing?
Melanie E.
Bad Day Indeed:-)
But looks like got blessing in the end.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Would It Help If I Begged?
I wouldn't just beg for the gray goo. I'd beg you to expand this. I know you don't have a lot of time these days but I hope you can expand this someday. :)
Oh. I was wondering why you'd try to answer the challenge for this story ... until I read the end. Then I knew. You are incorrigible. :)
Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more
- Terry
Incorrigible??? :-p
Now Terry, you know that I'm perfectly capable of torturing my characters, but I'm not one to leave them hanging. Life can suck some times, but it isn't a permanent condition.
It's my firm belief that there will be a genuine 'happily ever after' -- a forever one -- once we leave this Earth. I like my fiction to reflect that (even though, in real life, the 'happily ever after' rarely exists on this side of Heaven.)
So try not to gag too much on the happy endings. [snicker]
By the way, this is a definite satire on a kids' book, and follows the spirit of the story fairly faithfully. If I manage to find it (there are books all over this house,) I'll probably update the story to make it follow a little more closely. I think there was a part where Alexander thinks that there probably aren't any ______ in Australia. (I don't recall what it was.)
As for a sequel... I can't for the life of me think of any way to follow this up. If I did, it would be a fairly generic 'boy turns into girl and has to deal with it' story.
Or maybe, the new GG Alexandra could have another Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day. Hmmm...
Ray
Very much in the vein of...
The story. Well done. Far superior to the quick and dirty thing I put into a comment on the challenge.
The original story "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" is a REALLY GOOD children's story. Both my daughter LOVED hearing it over and over and over and over again... :-)
Thanks,
Annette
Excellent : )
I really enjoyed this a lot. Um... I don't know if anyone else has asked, about the goo...
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Thank you :-)
This story was actually a response to a challenge. Since we have the original kids' book, I couldn't resist.
Indeed
I'd still like to see more people tackle the challenges I set out, even if they're out of date now.
I'd considered doing a 2013 challenge list, but with how the last set fell flat (and I still owe 'Drea that year's subscription) I decided against it. 'Sides, do you have ANY idea how hard it is to come up with 65 semi-original story ideas?
Melanie E.
I don't remember
I don't remember where your challenge is posted. The "Rasufelle's Writers' Challenge" tag only has my story under it. I would like to go through the list again and look for other inspiration.
One challenge I remember was about writing a cheesy sci-fi story -- with emphasis on the 'cheesy.' I give it some thought from time to time, but nothing really jells. I'm thinking of something to do with flying saucers, BEMs (Bug-Eyed Monsters,) and anal probes. Maybe a ray-gun or two. (No, not a Ronald Ray Gun. That has already been done. I believe it turns people into cardboard cutouts.)
That's one way...
... to redeem a Horrible, Awful, No Good, Very Bad Day.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)
I read it again...
I read it again just now, and it reminded me of Bru's, Not a Bad Day at All. Admittedly, they are rather different stories.
-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)