My left eye, which is my primary one, is cloudy and I cannot read without great difficukty. Everything is as if seen through a film of vaseline. My right eye is clear, but cannot read unless the type is VERY large and VERY dark. I don't know what's causing this problem, and I hope it will go away within another day. It's been two days already and if it continues tomorrow, I will seek medical assistance.

http://www.wired.com/medtech/health/news/2006/11/72174

You draw your own conclusions. Discuss.

I'll be traveling up to Buffalo for the observance, along with some others from our local support group. It's being held at:

******12th Annual International Transgender Day of Remembrance******

Nov 18 2010 - 7-9pm
Unity Fellowship Church
1420 Main Street
Buffalo, NY

"Trans people are still being killed."
An evening to reflect on our shared humanity of those who have suffered from transphobia, hatred and violence.

Please join us for refreshments and discussion groups after the vigil.

I hope to see many of you Western New Yorkers there.

hugs.
Cathy

I'm retired, mostly due to some health issues. So I'm drawing my Social Security benefits a bit earlier than I would have wanted to, resulting in a lower amount of money a month.

Just for kicks, I went to my V.A. rep and asked about the possibility of being eligible for a military pension, since I served 8 years, 4 more than the minimum enlistment in the Air Force, during the Vietnam conflict. He explained that if one served for more than 90 days in the military, during a period of conflict, one was eligible, depending on one's monthly income.

Since yesterday, my stories have received 117 total hits on them. While I'm pleased by the number of hits, it's very unusual to get that many hits on old works in one day, and I wonder if there isn't someone out there doing this on purpose? Numbers are fine and all, and I thank anyone who has taken the time to read my stories, but false increases are just that...false increases. Since there are no additional comments to accompany these increased numbers, I have to assume that they are false.

Have been for the better part of a week. Got a severe cold/flu/plague/something or other. Sorry to those I usually chat with, but this thing is kicking my ass.

Back when I get somewhere near what I laughingly refer to as healthy.

Cathy

Having resorted to shaving my arms and legs, and face, with disposable shavers, and suffering innumerable cuts and so forth, I tried a new little shaver that works VERY well. It's called The Microforce and it's only ten dollars at Wal-Mart. To my pleased amazement, it works VERY well indeed, and not only on my appendages, but my face as well. It's battery operated, no recharging, and works dry or wet. I debated with myself about whether to buy a more expensive shaver, but I thought I'd try this little one first.

Carpe cakum, Edeyn. Hope things are going really well for you in the land down under.

Hugs 'n stuff,
Cathy

and the reasons are...well, many I guess.

Mainly though, at the bottom of it all, is one simple thing.

I've spent my whole life searching for "the one." I've looked everywhere and she seems to be either hiding, or I'm just too damn old and ugly for anyone to care about in "that" way.

Well here's a bit of news for everyone. Ugly people need love too!

I'm back home. The surgery went well. It turned out to be not a hernia OR a cyst, but some kind of hydro seminal blockage or something like that. The upshot is they fixed the blockage and did take one of my testicles, so I'm halfway to an orchiectomy. This also helped allay some of my fears about undergoing surgery under a full anaesthesia, since I came through this well.

I have noticed that the stories being written in The Home That Love Built universe are receiving considerably fewer hits and comments than I feel they deserve. Are they not exciting enough? Are they TOO full of emotion? Do they perhaps, strike too close to home for most of you? Am I expecting too much?

So why do I feel three days older than dirt? I'm so frustrated right now with the VA, with life, with damn near everything actually. I won't go into any of that in this blog, since you all have your own problems to deal with. Remember that BUTTON story that Grover posted? If that damned button was right here, right now, I'd jump all over that thing... in a freaking heartbeat, and have NO regrets about it after!

So...I'm watching TV a few nights ago, got the dish network now...LOTS more channels and less money than cable. Anyway, I'm on the computer at the same time when I catch a phrase from the TV about a place called, BIKINI BEACH!!!!

Well, of course my ears perked up and I switched my full attention to the TV and what did my unbelieving ears and eyes see and hear? An honest to god commercial about The Bikini Beach Resort and Motel!!!!!

Here's the URL: http://www.bikinibeachresort.com/

I've spent the better part of the last two days lost in remembrance of those I loved who are gone. My parents, my best friend ever, Mikey, John Denver, Mary Travers, Mamma Cass, Karen Carpenter, KimEm, and so many others.

Memories. They come as comfort and pain together, wrapped in smiles and tears, heartbreak and wonderment. I've lost or left so many friends, in so many places that I cannot recall some of them. Imagine that. People who I called friends and was called friend by them...and I can't remember their names...or even their faces. Yet I miss them, one and all.

but I'm too wiped out to write anything right now. I'll blog tomorrow. For now, let's just say that my worst fears seem unfounded. There IS a problem, but not such a serious, life threatening one.

Thank you all for caring.

Hugs and love,
Cathy

so let me set the record straight. Tina and I ONLY have a platonic relationship. That all it has ever been, that's all it will ever be, and I am FINE with that. It's being completely alone in the house that has me spooked. As for a pet...NO freaking way. Been there, been tied down by it, Won't do it again.

I hope this clears things up from my last blog.

Cathy

I have, no doubt, alienated some friends, and have been generally hard to get along with. I know that my health issues are certainly a big part of this. Not knowing exactly what's going on with my health is preying on my mind. Additionally, there is some pain associated with what's going on, and that makes me irritable as well.

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep.

If I should die, before I wake

I pray the Lord, my soul to take.

this is not a suicide note. it's only me, trying to deal with more loss than anyone should have to.

I'm tired, and I want to sleep...that's all...just sleep. Don''t call. Don't message. Just let me sleep. at least in sleep, I can dream I've not lost.

goodbye.

I have recently become aware of a growth in a very sensitive internal area. There is some minor pain associated with it. I am scheduled to see a doctor today and, depending on his diagnosis, I may have to go to Buffalo for surgery, since the V.A. is the only health provider I have.

All stories linked to the Home That Love Built universe, can be viewed with this url. My thanks to theTop Shelf administrators for their help with this.

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/tg-universes-series/-home-that...

Hugs and love,
Catherine Linda Michel

I want to thank you all for your kind words and the seeming involvement you got from my story. I hated writing it, I hated posting it, I hated everything about it.

I didn't choose to write Sara's Story. For real, IT chose me. There are writers here who put my poor efforts to shame, and any one of them could have done a much better job than I did. I wish one of them had been chosen instead of me.