Had a difficult day and feel shattered, so I won't be posting tonight. Hopefully, back to normal tomorrow.

Angharad.

I've been a little depressed these last few weeks, and usually when I'm depressed I avoid people in real life and I spend more time online. This isn't exactly the greatest cure for depression.

Well, I am basically trying to hold on until my Dr.'s appointment on January 28. I don't really want to need to call in before then, but it's touch and go whether I am going to make it or not. It makes me wonder why I have such trouble asking for help. I think it is because of of my rapist being a doctor, but i am not sure. I dont even know why i am feeling so fragile right now. Is it the meds, dealing with flashbacks, my gender struggle, or maybe all three at once?

I just posted a long blog about the uncanny parrallels between Steph's (Cyclist) story called Sweat and tears and the many abuses I suffered in care from aged six to fourteen.
The blog disappeared into the ether when I pressed submit so it's lost forever.

I'll try again.

In 1975 just after I got married, my wife, (to whom I'm still married)persuaded me to write a faction about my early life.

I scratched away for several months with pencil and several thick notebooks and then the story sat around in my attic for nearly 30 years.

Welcome to 2011!

Whilst I've no new scribbles to post myself this week I have a busy writing schedule lined up as well as a rapidly filling diary! Let's give you a quick outline of what to expect;

In the 1969 the United States Congress enacted legisdlation making it legal for 18 year olds to buy, possess, and drink alcohol. This legislation would be in effect until the Reagan Administration's The National Minimum Drinking Age Act of 1984 was passed. for more information about what the Alcohol laws were before 1969, please go to a university law library and look at those statutes or if you live in a state capitol, go to the capitol law library. Even Wikipedia says that in the Reagan administration the law was passed declaring 21 to be the minimum drinking age.

Well, its a new year, and i am already hating it. I mentioned to my boss yesterday about my supervisor calling me Dorothy, and she dismissed it saying she would not do that. i had thought she was sympathetic, but I think she was ok with it hypothetically, but cannot deal with it as a reality. That, and today, my brother is taking me for some pants (mens, sadly), and get my hair cut. He just doesnt understand my gender issues at all, and its gotten to the point where being around him is painful. Which bugs me, because growing up, he was my friend, my protector, and in many ways, my idol.

From Chapter 14 onward this will be getting extremely dark and very nasty. I will, as is my normal style, not be going into unnecessarily graphic detail as I feel that what happens to young Stevie should be seen as shadows on a wall and not a slow motion porn film. I put some detail into his teenaged fumbling with Emily because I felt that certain aspects of that were essential to the plot, but I will not do that for other bits. Such detail is unnecessary.

Parody

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWhKdXcqYeU&feature=related