Well, I am basically trying to hold on until my Dr.'s appointment on January 28. I don't really want to need to call in before then, but it's touch and go whether I am going to make it or not. It makes me wonder why I have such trouble asking for help. I think it is because of of my rapist being a doctor, but i am not sure. I dont even know why i am feeling so fragile right now. Is it the meds, dealing with flashbacks, my gender struggle, or maybe all three at once?
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trying to hold on
Dorothy, I wish that I knew the answer. Remember that you have friends here.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
The answer is yes...
...of course, it's all three and more. Your past year has been fraught with all sorts of issues in your present life, as well as dealing head on with your abuse. And keep in mind even getting to the place of finding doctors that you can trust has been a challenge as well. That issue alone would make it painfully difficult to ask for help, since you were betrayed by the very one who was supposed to help you. HANG IN THERE! Those of us who've been through this can say, with caution, it will get better. You've been dealing with all of this with a great deal of courage and hope, and you will get through this, dear one. Write me any time, okay?
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Hang on intheir girl.
Feeling fragile and feeling brittle are very real consequences of childhood abuse. Feeling inadequate is another as is feeling angry and betrayed.
Sorry I can't be there just to give a hug because I'll bet you're feeling lonely as well. That loneliness stems from the feeling that you're having to go through transition by yourself, face all the problems and issues yourself and handle the feelings of rejection that so often accompany our lives. God know's, it's not easy. Wish I could be there just to give you a hug and make a cup of tea or cook breakfast for the first few days when you get home to a cold, empty house.
Having more than one issue to handle, certainly doesn't help and I hope there are people who support you in your efforts to be complete.
One of the hardest words that people keep repeating is, - 'Well it's your choice.'
It's not.
You know you have no choice. It's transition or live a life of perpetual misery or worse, die.
Don't die. Stay alive! Grow old (or older,)but above all don't die.
Love and the tightest hugx I can give.
OXOXOX
Beverly.
Growing old disgracefully.