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I've been thinking about the surgery, and I realized a sad truth. Even if somehow I could magically afford it, who would be with me through it? And after it was done, what in my life would actually change? Plus, I might end up losing my daughter if I were to go further than I have, which would not be worth it.
Ah, well, just another day.
Comments
Squeeze tight
If I could be there I would, what a terrible choice. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. Maybe someday you can let her now what you are willing to sacrifice for her.
Brenda
Brenda Sands
Just another day...
Dorothy,
You are in such a better place today than you were a year ago. It's still going to be a while before you could even start to make plans, so don't worry so much.
There's a story I heard from a long time ago, somewhere in the Middle East.
A man had committed a major breach in etiquette, in front of the Great King. The punishment was that the man should lose his head.
The man threw himself to the ground in front of the king as said, "Oh Great King, if you spare my life I will teach your favorite horse to sing!"
Well the king thought for a minute, he decided a singing horse would be better than having the man's head, so he told the man he had one year and a day. If the horse could sing he would be rewarded (in addition to being alive!).
Everyday the man would spend hours singing to, grooming, and taking care of the horse. One day a friend came and asked him why he didn't try to run away.
The man replied, "I have a year. Many things could happen in that time. I might die, the horse might die, maybe the King will die! And who knows, perhaps the horse will learn to sing."
Dorothy, so much might happen before you face SRS. I might even be ready at the same time and we could go together. Perhaps something would happen to prevent it. Perhaps you will decide the cost is too great.
And who knows, perhaps the horse will learn to sing!
Blessings to you,
Beth
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(PS, you know, it goes without saying, you remain in my prayers)
There was a certain magic
When I awoke after surgery, I knew that after all those years of being wrong, I was finally right. There was no longer any question, no doubt. I was finally completely me and there was nothing anyone could point to that would prove otherwise.
And I spent the better part of 40 years telling myself that transition was impossible, that I could never pass, that my life would be ruined...
Don't worry whether doors will be opened or closed tomorrow. Concentrate on those that are open now.
Hugs,
Janet
Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.