trying to hold on

Well, I am basically trying to hold on until my Dr.'s appointment on January 28. I don't really want to need to call in before then, but it's touch and go whether I am going to make it or not. It makes me wonder why I have such trouble asking for help. I think it is because of of my rapist being a doctor, but i am not sure. I dont even know why i am feeling so fragile right now. Is it the meds, dealing with flashbacks, my gender struggle, or maybe all three at once?