*Before…Jamie’s Part.

I start shutting the lights off and get my purse and my coat and the offer her my arm. “You like games?”
“Like an arcade?”
“Sort of but better.”
“Better?”
“You’ll see, you like Sushi?”
“I’ve never had it but I’ve always wanted to try it.”
“Good first the pachinko arcade then Sushi.”
I offer and she takes my arm and then looks at me. “What’s pachinko?”

*And Now…

“And be sure to tell us as soon as you know how you’re changing,” Aunt Ellen said, an anxious look on her face.

 

“Of course.”

 

“And... if you develop into a girl, be sure to remember everything I told you.”

Truth's Purity

Synopsis: A young man awakens in a strange room, in the body of a younger girl. He is scared and confused, and slowly learns why he is there and what plans lay in store for him

Chapter 1

I was floating in oily darkness, feeling it swirl thickly around me as if it were trying to drag me away with it. A strange warmth was embracing me, so hot that it felt like it was burning me away, but it felt nice somehow, as if I was just slipping into a warm bath.

When last we left Alex, she was calling for assistance just before losing consciousness. Will the Empress and her sisters succeed in relocating the deposed Egyptians to a new home? Has Alex unlocked another facet of her gift that will finally allow her to apprehend Clemson? If so, at what cost? Read on to see if the Empress of Time and Space can triumph over evil once again.

Growing up whenever we went out to someplace dressy or special I never had to wear a tie like other boys my age. Just a nice shirt and pants were fine.

That's not to say that mom was happy when I did. Usually she would just frown at me and say something like" Oh Jay" shake her head and shoo me out the door.

Don't get the wrong idea. I was an only child to my mom and dad. Dad was a workaholic till I was about nine or ten when he went to work and never came back.

Ryan’s foolish and childish behaviour causes Eve to take a firmer stance with him. Meanwhile, despite his earlier bravado, Ryan learns just how deeply the serum runs. While he struggles with this, a simple knock on the door of the apartment changes everything.

Excerpt: I nodded, “No more closed door bullshit?”

Eve said, “None. We can talk about the adoption too. You’ve got a choice in this, Ryan. If you don’t want us to adopt you, we can look at other options. The best thing for you now though is to try to maintain control. Fight your impulses. You might find that when you start putting your thoughts down that you can better understand yourself and what you are going through.”

I had expected a completely different conversation, one that involved a lot of screaming and threats. If anything, I was impressed with Eve’s calm demeanour. That feeling of warmth was still there, but now that I understood what Eve was trying to do, it felt different. Maybe she was really just trying to help?

The world now knows of Kaylee’s existence. As talk of adoption heats up, Ryan’s mind, twisted by the serum begins to play tricks on him. Meanwhile, Ryan struggles with trying to reassert his identity through something other than the formerly tantalizing opposite sex.

Excerpt: But this was nothing like the sudden warmth I felt when the little girl hugged her mother. The warmth was not heat, unlike a blanket covering a shivering form, it elicited a response from my heart. I knew heartache, at least as long it took for me to find another girl, and another, to fill the void left by Hannah, but this was something else entirely.

My heart, my chest, my brain- everything was filled to bursting with an overwhelming sense of love- to give and receive it in an immeasurable fashion. The only thing similar to it was the intense, incredible high I got from sex, but it wasn’t lust, the hard wrenching of parts, stares and longing, until the moment of climax, and then nothing- no, it was something real. Lasting.

And that’s why it scared the fuck out of me. Because it didn’t exist. To me it had to be the serum, and I was staring at my future if I embraced this world.

Somewhere, the moon shines above the clouds in a land called...

Bian
(Bee-Onn)
by Erin Halfelven

Finally understanding that he cannot wage the war against the serum alone, Ryan accepts Greg and Eve’s help. After the close call with the doll, Greg’s suggests a trip to the beach to wake up the old Ryan Sullivan. Ryan readily accepts, but the trip will hardly be a simple day at the beach. While there will be a multitude of flesh to attract a red-blooded male, there also exists many attractions to awaken the little girl within.

Excerpt: The door closed and the footsteps rapidly retreated. I was left holding a plastic doll, and while my humiliation in Greg’s presence was staggering to both my male ego and my adult self, I couldn’t help but want to continue playing. It was like some drug filling my mind and body with such a real sense of happiness that it was easy to ignore the fact that such actions were eating away at Ryan Sullivan. The toys, the sense of adventure, the world of imagination that Hermie spoke of were the vultures circling over the soon-to-be corpse.

But it was rainbows, cotton candy, pretty dresses, and a life where finding someone to play with would be my greatest worry. I knew that children worried about more important stuff. Some of them even faced crippling anxiety. A friend of mine, the same one with all the incredible video games, was a wreck every time his dad went on a tour of duty. I knew better, but the drug swimming in my system was smiles and sunshine.

I desperately needed help.

After the visit to the studio, with his frustration mounting, Ryan retreats to one of his old vices. While the obsession with video games had seemingly doomed Mark and Devon, a greater danger looms just outside his window.

Excerpt:

A skipping rope slapped gently against the asphalt, each jump and each giggle caused candy-coated claws to dig into my mind, the claws digging deeper and deeper as my desire to join the girls grew.

“Wow! You did three skips that time! I wanna be good like that!”

I looked out the window and saw a skipping rope tied to a telephone pole. Two girls, one of them Kaylee’s age and one Ashley’s, were taking turns holding the rope. Each time they failed to jump the rope, they switched places. The whiney, nattering voice of the younger girl should have been a massive turnoff, like a beautiful girl with a mannish voice, but instead, it planted a powerful need, an alien yearning to reach out to these girls- to play with them, but it also caused a resurgence of doubt.

“Would they even want to play with me?”

Ryan/Kaylee is now safe in the home of Eve and Greg, however, old wounds surface, creating friction between Eve and Ryan. While clearly still in need of help, especially in keeping his secret, other help, however, may prove lethal to Ryan’s battered adult mind. Meanwhile, Ryan’s male self is challenged as Kaylee, who had previously simply been a little girl in the mirror, develops a sense of self and establishes a meagre but still present identity.

Excerpt: I added, “Without Tracy, I’m trapped like this. And every single fucking day, I feel like I’m fighting against myself. You know yesterday I saw these girls just skipping rope? And it looked like so much fun, as fun as sex with Monique and Jessica. At the same time. Fuck, I’m going crazy.”

Greg said, “That’s why you need to get out of here. Come on, man. It’s your favourite restaurant.”

I shook my head, “No way. All the waitresses will make these stupid goo-goo eyes at me. You know the look, it’s how Eve looks when she sees a baby with a puppy or a kitten. I’m safe in here from cheek pinching, gushing bullshit and constant reminders of how I look.”

Greg smirked, “You’re not that cute.”

I retorted, “Fuck, you man. That’s not what I meant.”

Despite being free from the terror of the studio, Ryan grapples with the knowledge that while he retains his adult mind, the outside world sees the sweet, diminutive Kaylee. An unaccompanied six year old girl on the streets of one of the most populated cities in the US also brings plenty of unwanted attention, and as such, it is clear he will need help. Whether he seeks out his mother or his small group of trusted friends, Ryan will have to act quickly as the longer he remains alone the greater the chance that the unwanted attention brings the authorities, and with it, a host of unanswerable questions.

Excerpt: “Are you waiting for your mommy, sweetie?” The old woman smiled, and while I felt safe in her presence, internally- it was like great swathes of barbed wire had nested in my brain. Each word and gesture from the woman, from her kindly expression to the way she sat, it echoed what I already knew- the world would see Kaylee, and they would treat her accordingly.

There was no surprise in this. Ryan Sullivan wasn’t sitting at the bus stop, his legs dangling from the bench, unable to touch the ground. He wasn’t wearing a t-shirt with a glittery butterfly on it, or a pair of pink running shoes that lit up in the dark.

I answered snidely, “No, I’m waiting for a bus.”

To Ryan’s horror, Ms. Daniels continues her bizarre transformation from network executive to doting mother-to-be. Despite this fact, Ryan is heartened by the return of Ashley. Unfortunately, not all was as it was before. Still, when all seems lost, a new hope for escape rises from an unlikely source.

Excerpt: The young woman easily pulled the covers away from my face and kissed me gently on the forehead. “I love you, Kaylee.”

She lingered for a minute, likely waiting for me to say something in return. With my silence, however, she trudged from the room.

I tossed and turned, my mind grappling with my inability to leave and the horrible fate that awaited me as the daughter of a madwoman. My body and mind exhausted with the struggle finally succumbed to sleep hours later.

Ashley continues to have a positive impact on Ryan, and this growing bond leads Ashley to reveal a painful secret. With the malleable period soon ending, and with it supposedly their chance to return to normal, Ryan and Ashley confront Dr. Travers and attempt to play upon the man’s morality, yet what they learn may make them yearn for Ms. Daniels.

Excerpt: There wasn’t a modicum of emotion to his voice which matched an equally blank expression when we finally saw his face. I pulled my hand away from Ashley’s, and while this would have amused Ms. Daniels, Dr. Travers remained stone faced. He was dishevelled, even more so than before with a thick beard and a heavy, acrid sweat smell. His lab coat was stained, and so were his shoes- a grimy pair of sneakers. Still, his eyes were vibrant, and within them, I saw a man who was calculating and focused. Just a brief glance showed the intelligence residing there, but there was something else too. The way he looked at us made me think of how my science teacher peered at the foetal pig before it was dissected. It was morbid curiosity.

Chapter 8
With the threat of further regression, Ryan and the other transformed adults fall into their roles. As consummate professionals with a thorough understanding of proper technique and position, the filming unsurprisingly moves quickly. Meanwhile, an exchange with Ms. Daniels forces Ryan to consider life as Kaylee. As the filming continues, Ryan finds himself falling deeper and deeper into character, and when an opportunity comes to demonstrate his brazen, confident self, he struggles to reassert himself.

Excerpt: Ashley replied, “I’m not an expert on this, Ryan, but it sounds like you are fighting growing up. You run away from the things that force you to deal with harsh realities. You aren’t a failure because you haven’t really ever tried. From what you’ve told me with your past relationships and your jobs, you never put yourself in a position where you could grow. Did you know I’ve been in the business since I was eleven years old? I begged my mom before that, but she wouldn’t let me.”

She added, “For some people, it takes a really long time to break into acting. And how long have you been at it? Like two years? You didn’t fail. You just gave up. Just like you are now, but here- you have nowhere to go. Do you really want to let Daniels win?”