“The parody is the last refuge of the frustrated writer. Parodies are what you write when you are associate editor of the Harvard Lampoon. The greater the work of literature, the easier the parody. The step up from writing parodies is writing on the wall above urinals.” - Ernest Hemmingway.

“Turnabout is fair play.” — Angela Rasch

The following parody has many references to Cary Grant and his movies. . .above and beyond the obvious. Should you get bored with this story, or if the story runs against your grain. . .use it as a puzzle. . .try to pick out all those references.

This story also contains several un-attributed quotes. We apologize for trying to be someone or something we’re not. We suspect the nature of the story supports this decision.

Chapter One - I Don’t Go To Church, Kneeling Bags My Nylons

Eighteen year old William Baxter is fascinated by next door neighbor Mrs Delores Cashmore and follows her to church. Mrs Cashmore has many secrets which William soon finds out. But Delores knows about William's meddling in her private affairs and has plans for him.

I had a weird dream about working on a series of kid's books. They were illustrated and I wish I could draw like that. Some of it looked a lot like Brad Guigar's art on Evil, Inc.

One of the books was about a young owl discovering things. It was called, "Nobody Really Likes Liver."

Bordello Boys
A Short Story
By Maryanne Peters

My mother said that she prayed that her children would not be male. A brothel is no place for boys.

But I was a boy, and so was my real cousin Dee, and my pretend cousin Jay.

Dee was older than me by three years, but Jay was only a few months younger than me, so we played together. Dee looked after us a bit, I guess. Both of us looked up to Dee.

A sequel to the Gun Princess Royale. Yanked off the streets of New Angeles by the tenebrous Pantheon organisation, and gifted with a deadly avatar known as a Diva, Nikola 'Sola' Raynar is a Lanfear - a huntress of Bloodliners and Wolvren. When she isn't hunting down the denizens of the night, she's busy finding ways to build up her nest egg for the day of her retirement from Pantheon. But when her rampant greed carries her a little too far, she finds herself in a mess that wasn't entirely of her own making.

Tammy is moved carefully since she had a huge block of stone fall on her. Her hard armor absorbed the impact, but some of it did pass through. Her rib cage and chest were hurting her.

“Easy guys.” Stanley was directing Dave and Greg as they moved Tammy to a stretcher and carried her to the Striker.

Paul was gritting his teeth from the pain in his back, as he stood next to Kat. They were looking at several of the men their team captured.

Misha's History Changes Reality for Everyone

Kira asks “ what about Jim your brother do you like doing things he like to do for instance pulling Kim's communicater batterys out”. Misha replies “ oh my god why would I do that for to Kim she is my sister Kim has taught me a lot about things about being a girl most of my life and Kim lets me go on missions with her and with Veronica when she was Ron”.

Hidden Intent Part 2

Next morning I was up and dressed in the nightie and robe while I got breakfast for us. My father came down with a hold-all that he used when he was sent further away on a road job. He told me that he did not expect to be back until Friday and I pretended to be upset at being left alone.

Special thanks to Malady for his help in editing and ideas.

The Letters Chapter 5

Suddenly, Grace stood up. "Let's take a little trip."

"Where?" Greg asked.

"The future," she said grinning."

"Wait a minute!" Future exclaimed.  "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"You never think anything's a good idea."

"None of yours are!"

"Only from your point of view, Gregory."

"Fine," the old man said.  "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Greg asked again.

"Haven't you been listening, Kid?" Future asked. "We're heading to right here, only in the future."

"Sorry," Greg told him.  "I should have said, 'When are we going?'"

As soon as he said it, he figured what the answer would be, and his speculation was proved correct.