The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1939 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Later that day, Phoebe came to speak with me. She’d been using Julie’s old scooter about which I had second, if not third thoughts. Julie so nearly came to a sticky end on it and since then I’d developed a bit of a phobia about it.

However it was Julie who said she could try it, and she liked it. The college isn’t that far away but it only needs six inches of road for something to hit you, and like bikes, scooters don’t have much in the way of protection against heavy, fast moving vehicles, especially the scooters which are glorified mopeds and only do about 25mph maximum speed.

“Mummy, when I’m seventeen, can I learn to drive?”

“I expect so.”

“Oh good. I like the scooter but a car would be really kewl.”

“What would you like, an Aston Martin or Ferrari?”

“A Porsche 911.”

“They’re all death traps.”

“What Porsches?”

“Fast cars in general–only people who can afford them are pop stars or footballers and they tend to crash them with monotonous regularity.”

“Aww, Mummy, you’re no fun anymore–you’re no one ’till you’ve driven your supercar up a tree.” I began to get the distinct impression that Phoebe was taking the urine.

“Or into a ditch.”

“Eh?”

“I drove my Porsche into a ditch.”

“You had a Porsche, Mummy?”

“Yes the Cayenne, I crashed it trying to avoid a deer.”

“Oh wow, was Bambi okay?”

“I believe so, I wasn’t I nearly died hanging upside down from my seat belt.”

“Wow, what happened?”

“I was driving home from Salisbury after visiting friends and a deer ran across the road as I came round a bend.”

“Were you speeding?”

“I wasn’t looking at the speedo, so I could have been, it was very deceptive for speed.”

“And you crashed?”

“I swerved and the car went through a hedge and down an embankment and into a ditch with a stream running through it. I was unconscious for a day or two.”

“A bloke on some radio prog recently implied anyone who’s been unconscious for more than a few moments has likely suffered brain damage.”

“I probably have then.”

She looked horrified for a moment then laughed. “You’re so funny, Mummy.”

“I was being serious.”

She laughed even harder. “You’re super clever.”

“So, just think how much cleverer I’d be if I hadn’t tried driving a 4by4 on its roof.”

“Did you actually hurt your head?”

“I couldn’t tell you but I did have concussion.”

“Oh.” She paused for few moments.

“What is concussion exactly?”

“An injury to the head which has some effect upon the brain–so it can be mild to serious.”

“What was yours?”

“Moderate.”

“Yeah, that figures.”

Charming, I thought, but said nothing.

“So I can go?”

“Go? I think I missed something.”

“I can start driving lessons.”

“Yeah, when you’re seventeen.”

“You weren’t listening,” she protested and I had to wait for her to describe what life would be like with a girl playing GTA. It came a few moments later. “There’s this bloke who for a hundred quid will allow underage drivers to play with the cars on his farm.”

“I don’t know if your insurance would allow you to do that–you know loads of animals about and they are mega expensive.”

“Do you like, have to be insured?”

“Yes, it’s a condition of driving, so if you had some reason why you wouldn’t need insurance, I’d like to hear it because insurance for young drivers is often more than the value of their car.”

“Oh dear.”

“It sounds a bit fishy, let’s kids play with cars on his land–I wonder if he’s insured, because with inexperienced drivers, it could be dangerous. Does he offer tuition, or just provide an off the public highway space?”

“It doesn’t sound a very good idea, does it?” she pouted.

“It doesn’t really, Pheebs,” I agreed. “Look, why not wait until you're seventeen and we’ll get you some lessons–let’s do it properly and safely.”

“I s’pose so,” she conceded and went off.

“Phoebe, are you insured to ride the scooter?”

“I dunno–I thought I was.”

“I’d better check, so wait a minute.” I called our insurance broker at the bank and he told me she wasn’t but would add her to the list immediately once I gave him details, which I did. I told her she could ride the scooter but to be careful, she hugged me and pecked me on the cheek. It’s funny they only ever seem to do that when they get something they want–or am I getting cynical?

I still didn’t like her using it, and decided I’d get rid of it before the others got old enough to use it, though somehow I can’t see Danny riding a pink scooter–can’t see me riding it either, and I suspect Trish would only be satisfied with a full on motor bike–a Japanese arse rocket or one of those overpriced American things–which I am assured look very smart but use stone-age technology–a Harley Davidson. There’s more technology in my Specialized bike, so they do produce the odd useful thing.

Danny asked me for some money to take for school meals. I thought I’d already given him some and when I queried it, he told me I hadn’t. I gave him the ten pounds I always do but went off to find the girls. If I’d paid them, I was sure I’d also paid Danny.

I found them placing their homework back in their satchels. “Did I give you your school dinner money?” They nodded and went back to loading their learning. Their situation was a bit different. I paid for the whole week in one go and they were entitled to have a meal from the items on offer on the day. They got a book of tickets for the week. The downside was those who got there first had the best choice of menu, but the girls didn’t complain too often.

Danny on the other hand had to pay for portions of various things unless he wanted the set menu meal, which he described as rubbish. I’ve a feeling he went down the chip shop quite regularly though he didn’t ever say anything about it.

Thinking about it, Danny did this to me last week as well. So did I pay twice? He’s usually so honest I can’t believe he’s defrauding me, so am I getting forgetful? I decided that I’d write down the day I paid him for his school dinners in my diary and then I’d have some sort of reference point if it came to a dispute. If he was scamming me, what was he spending it on? That worried me more than the loss of the money.

I’d have to make some observations over the coming days and see where it took me, something I could have done without.