The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1907 by Angharad Copyright © 2012 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

A bit later after I’d lost my anger, except with the weather which was as normal, throwing it down. I made us lunch, tuna salad sandwiches. The children seemed to finish theirs quite quickly and went off to watch cartoons or some children’s film. Sammi had taken Jacquie up to London for the day as they were bargain hunting in the sales. Julie was working and so was Phoebe. Stella had gone out with her two to see Henry at the hotel and taken Danny with her–he wanted to go swimming or use the gym. David and Ingrid had gone out with Hannah, so the place felt rather quiet compared to the usual mob we have here.

“Is it just me, or do we seem to have problems with eastern Europeans? I mean how many times have Russians tried to pop us off, and we’ve had problems with Romanians before.”

“They seem to cause great problems with stealing metal,” agreed Simon.

“Aye, it’s that bloody Common Market,” offered Tom, “ever since we allooed them in, we’ve had problems.”

“But we don’t have gangs of French or Dutch picking pockets or taking up phone lines or railway power lines, do we?” I challenged Tom’s unexpected racist remark.

“No but thae stupid Frogs and thae ithers, let the Romanians in, did they not?”

“I expect we got to vote on the membership as well, and it has contributed to sixty years of peace, in that time, as long as it isn’t football, we’d have beaten Germany twice.”

“Aye, only remember, they nearly beat us last time, even with the American’s late help.”

“I thought the Americans were on our side?” I gasped.

“They were,” Tom looked at me in astonishment.

“So why did it take so long?” I asked.

“Because the Nazis were very efficient and had several years to dig themselves in much of continental Europe, the Allies had to fight for almost every inch of the way.” I didn’t know Simon was so into history.

“Didn’t they have to fight on two fronts?” I was sure the Russians were attacking them from the east.

“Yes, Hitler was impatient, and like Napoleon, not half as clever as he thought.”

“Didn’t I see some programme a while back about some spear of invincibility he annexed Austria to filch?”

“The Spear of Destiny–supposed to have been used to stab Jesus on the cross. It’s a fake.”

“Yeah, that’s what the programme said. They let a metallurgical historian look at it and most of it was late medieval. A bit of crap made up by Charles the Great, king of the Franks.”

“Who?” asked Tom.

“Charlemagne,” got in Simon before I could demonstrate my genius.

“You saw the programme too?” I almost accused.

“No, I read some stupid book on a very boring flight, years ago.”

“You know that all the stuff about King Arthur and Glastonbury is just as much a load of cobblers?” I offered to demonstrate my genius again.

“Aye,” encouraged Tom urging me to continue.

“The Normans weren’t all that comfortable here and the Welsh had their legend of Arthur who would return to throw off these foreigners.”

“I thocht Arthur wis Sassenach no Welsh.”

“Daddy, Sassenach means Saxon, which was derived from scrammersax or some such word which was a small throwing axe. Arthur led the war against the Saxons–he was a Briton or a Romano-Briton.”

“Aye, okay.”

“So the Normans were worried it might give the natives a rallying point, because if you remember, Arthur’s body was mysteriously floated away on a barge with mystical women on it. So there was no grave to go and dig up and say–he’s well dead so won’t come to help you.

“As it happens, Glastonbury and Canterbury were vying for seniority for churches in England and when Edward I visited Glastonbury–least I think it was him–you know, kills Wallace in Braveheart.”

“Thae scunner,” spat Tom much to Simon’s amusement.

“Did he get Grommett as well?” asked Simon, and Tom looked daggers at him.

“Please,” I asked for order and continued my yarn. “It is thought that while rebuilding at Glastonbury they exhumed some bodies which had been there for years. One was thought to have been a very tall man, and possibly his wife. As Edward was very tall, he was able to claim not only had they found King Arthur’s body but that he was probably related. They built a very nice tomb and placed the bodies there. It all went wrong because Canterbury still got seniority–although that is wrong too. The Welsh had been Christians for several hundred years before the English were. So the Archbishop of Wales should be the senior prelate and Llandaff the senior diocese.”

“Sae hoo come it isnae?”

“Saint Augustine happened–he talked the Celtic church into deferring to Rome, and himself into the first Archbishop of Canterbury.”

The back door opened as I finished my exposition and in trotted David and Ingrid with Hannah close behind. “Look what we got?” Ingrid was waving her hand about and something was glistening on her finger.

Tom lightly grasped her hand and took a closer look, “Congratulations,” he said which prompted me to stand and have a look, a small diamond cluster–quite nice.

“Yes, congratulations,” I echoed pleased to see the two of them grinning like Cheshire cats at the same time hoping that David wasn’t about to move on.

“We gotta wait until my divorce is through, but I got my solicitor filing for it already.”

“Well done, lad.” Simon slapped David on the shoulder, “Let’s have a drink to celebrate.” Tom agreed and shuffled off to the wine store to get something suitable. I went and put the kettle on, I didn’t want champagne, I wanted a cuppa, and as I admitted, I wasn’t sure how beneficial the news was to us–but it was I who introduced them–so I have to take the consequences–bugger. I thought it was rather hasty, and wondered which of the lovestruck pair set the agenda–my money would be on Ingrid.

Tom arrived back with a bottle of bubbly, just Moet et Chandon, so the Dom Perignon was still there–not that I enjoy champagne that much anyway. I quite enjoy Asti spumante just as much and a cuppa far more.

Simon opened the bottle and Tom got out the goblets–yeah, we’ve got fluted glasses or goblets and I was embarrassed into drinking a toast to the new couple before excusing myself to sort out the girls.

“What was the pop, Mummy?” asked Trish eyes still glued to the telly.

“David and Ingrid have just got themselves engaged. Gramps was offering them a drink to celebrate.”

“Oh goody, do they need any bridesmaids?” she quipped, glancing over her shoulder at me.

“Yay, bridesmaids,” echoed Livvie and Meems.

“I wouldn’t hold your breath,” I said under my breath and slipped upstairs.