.

Marcy’s mum met with her headmistress to discover the dress code is not gender specific. If Marcy wishes to wear a skirt to school the head said it’s within the code and she deliberately wrote the code that way. She expressed approval of Marcy’s ‘light touch’ with make up and jewellery.

Where necessary or possibly helpful to some, there are notes at the end on word usage.

Marcy’s dad, Lewis, was bringing her brothers to spend time over a weekend with Marcy and their mother. They would be staying at a local bed and breakfast hotel. Marcy was not looking forward to the visit and was expecting to receive nothing but abuse from her dad and brothers since she was now a girl and accepted as one, looking and behaving very differently from what her dad and brothers had known before her parents’ separation and subsequent divorce. She explained to Pol how she felt and told her, “I’m happy now, and I don’t care if I never see them again, but I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, even if I knew how.”

Pol thought and said, “You can’t avoid them without hurting your mum, Marce, and I know you wouldn’t want to do that. So let’s think it through. Kay?(1) I know you can’t be what they think of as a proper boy which was why they gave you grief, right? So we need to change what they think don’t we?”

“Yeah, but it’s impossible. I can’t change anything because I’m not a proper boy. Fact is I’ve never been a boy, even Mrs. Yeomans(2) agrees with that now.”

“Ok, ok. There’s no need to stress. We all know you’re a girl, but they don’t know that do they? And they’re not going to talk to any one who can wise them up, are they? Your brothers are thirteen and fourteen right?”

“Yes. There are twelve months between Colin and Gerry and eleven between Gerry and me, so Colin is fourteen and a half and Gerry thirteen and a half.”

“Right. So it’s unlikely either have a steady girlfriend. Some girls at that age do, but usually their boyfriends are a bit older. So if they think you have a girlfriend they’re not going to give you a hard time by saying you’re not a proper boy are they?”

“Agreed. Even if they both have a girlfriend it’s unlikely they would have a go at me if I did too, but how am I going to get a girlfriend in the next ten days? Especially with me being how I am, because all the girls in the village as well as the ones at school know I’m trans and fancy boys. So all the girls at the other school will know too. It’s never been a secret has it? Even the boys who barely know me all know now.”

“Don’t be dim, Marce, there’s me! If you ditch the boobs, the make up and the jewellery for the weekend, wear your hair loose with trainers, jeans and a tee shirt, all we have to do is hold hands and I kiss you a couple of times when they’re watching and it’s sorted. Go to Maxime’s to have your nails taken off, you said last week you wanted them redoing, and have them redone after the weekend. If you remove the polish off your toenails you can have them redone at Maxime’s too. You don’t have to worry bout your hair, cos(3) loads of boys have styled hair. Kay?”

Marcy was not happy with Pol’s plan, but when Pol had the bit between her teeth there was no stopping her. When Pol told Marcy’s mum what she was going to do Julia laught and admitted, “I’m looking forward to seeing Colin and Gerry, but had been worried on Marcy’s behalf. You’re a good friend to Marcy, Pol, thank you. Don’t worry, I’ll play my part.

Marcy wasn’t in when her father and brothers arrived. After their mother had hugged and kissed the boys, she told her sons and ex-husband, “Marc will be back in a bit. He’s at Pol’s. They’re helping her mum prepare her new rose garden, but Pol’s joining us for lunch.” Julia noticed the boys smirking at each other at their assumption Mac was still a sissy playing with girls and pulled them up sharply by adding, “Don’t even think about being rude to her, boys. Pol’s dad is a university professor and she’s clever enough to rung rings round you both. So clever I still don’t understand why she goes out with Marc. Still he must have something to recommend him. They’ve been together for going on twelve months.”

Colin asked incredulously, “Marc has a girlfriend‽”

“Ever since he went to secondary school. They became friends on their first day and have been spending a lot of time together ever since. Do either of you have a girlfriend, Colin? Gerry?” The boys reluctantly admitted that neither had a girlfriend, and their mum said, “Plenty of time yet, you’re only young.” Julia was ashamed that she was enjoying her sons’ discomfort, but determined to protect Marcy from them naytheless added, “Marc always did get on with girls, perhaps that helps now. A lot of his friends are girls, or maybe they’re Pol’s friends, but either way he gets on with them. He’s glad he moved up here because he enjoys going up on the fells with the boys after coneys, and they say he’s a genius at salmon fishing, which they sell to the hotels for twenty pounds if it’s a decent sized fish.”

“What are coneys, Mum?” asked Colin.

“It’s what northerners call rabbits. We only call the baby ones rabbits.”

“Oh.”

“At the moment, Marc and some of the boys are being taught how to fly fish for local trout by one of their dads because it’s the only legal way way to catch them, and they’re worth a lot of money from the local hotels. Sean’s dad works on the overhead power lines for the electricity board, so he sees a lot of the countryside from a helicopter and knows where all the best fishing spots are. Marc spends a lot of time online watching fishing and fish keeping videos, and sells live fish of all sorts to people with large aquaria. Up to now he’s bought them small and grown them on, but, he’s started breeding and raising fish in the garage. If you ask him he’ll shew you the tanks. He even has oxygen cylinders and an ice maker in the garage next to the tanks so fish can be transported safely with out stressing them, but I have to sign for the tranquillisers the vet provides. It’s a lucrative hobby.”

She laught and added, “I’m not sure if all that the boys do is completely legal, but there’s not a lot I can do about it if they go poaching is there? And he’s bought his tackle and the equipment with his earnings. He paid over a thousand pounds for what he described as the best reel money can buy which came from Japan. He wouldn’t tell me how much he paid for the rod that’s drying in the hall.” What she didn’t tell them was for Marcy it wasn’t a hobby, it was a future. That expensive fishing tackle and the equipment in the garage made the money Marcy was investing, via her own financial adviser, with a view to self-financing the surgery she wished if the National Health Service were dilatory, and she’d already made enough to pay for breast implants. She was making money, and her money was making even more money.

Julia didn’t smile at the irony of it when Lewis said, “Well I’m glad to hear he’s finally making a bit of a man of himself, Julia, but if he isn’t bothered enough to be here for me I’m not bothered either. I’ll collect the boys at eight and see him then.

Not long after that Marcy came home with Pol. They entered the room holding hands and Julia asked, “Put the kettle on would you, Pol, please?”

“Sure, Mrs. Harman. It’s ok, Marc, I’ll do it. You stay and talk to your brothers.” Talk was stilted and painful for Marcy, for she had nothing to say to her brothers and wasn’t interested in anything they had to say. After turning the kettle on, Pol came back and asked, “Who’s Gerry and who’s Colin?” The boys introduced themselves, and Pol asked, “Milk and sugar? Both of you?” The boys agreed and as she left for the kitchen she ran her fingers through Marcy’s hair and said, “You need to get that trimmed and restyled, Marc. It’s starting to look straggly, and straggly hair is definitely not cool. I’ll book us appointments at the same time with Françoise and get mine sorted too. Mum said I was starting to look like a mop.”

As Marcy shrugged her shoulders in resignation, Pol tossed her hair, which she was wearing loose rather than in her usual ponytail, and said, “Mum’s picking me up at three, Mrs. Harman, she wants me to help with the supermarket shopping. If it’s ok, she’d like Marc to come too. We’re eating Italian tonight, and Dad would prefer it if Marc chose the wine, you know how he is. Dad’s invited him to dine with us, but said I was to say he’d understand if you said no.” Pol left, and they could hear the sound of teacups rattling in the kitchen.

Marc’s brothers couldn’t reconcile their contemptibly soft brother with his girlish mannerisms, long styled hair which his girlfriend, who obviously spent a lot of time with him, considered to be cool, his feminine facial features and ridiculously long eye lashes which made him look like a young woman on the front cover of a women’s magazine and what their mum had said regarding his activities with his mates, some of which, though unbelievably profitable, she clearly considered of dubious legality. The idea of Marc breaking the law seemed unthinkable. They’d noticed the expensive Shimano fishing rod sections in the umbrella stand in the hall, and the Shimano spinning reel on top of the creel next to it, but the pink flower patterned wellies(4) had puzzled them. They knew anglers didn’t wear wellies like that, and they were convinced Marc wouldn’t dare wear them in the company of men and boys. That they were their brother’s they didn’t wish to believe, obviously having a girlfriend meant he wasn’t gay, but even he wasn’t that soft, surely?

“Marc, you’d better go shopping with Pol, and seeing as her dad has invited you for dinner you eat there. It’s ok if you sleep over if you’re asked. Just ask Lydia to let me know, ok? That will give me a bit more time with your brothers, and I’ll explain to your dad. Just put your tackle away before you go will you, please, and take Pol’s wellies to the garage too.”

“Ok, Mum.”

“Sean’s mum rang earlier wanting to know if you’re still ok for the fishing trip on Thursday. His dad needs to know by Monday morning from all of you so he knows how big a minibus to hire, and Paidin has an option on a set of Swedish steel throwing knives he’d like your opinion on. He’ll catch up with you if you go on the trip on Thursday.”

“Yes, I want to go. Could you ring Mr. O’Reilly to let him know?”

“No problem, Love.”

Just then Pol returned with the tea tray. “You’ve almost run out of sugar, Mrs. Aitch. Do you want me to get you some? Is there anything else you want?”

“Please, Pol, just sugar, and Marc can go shopping and dine with you. I’ve said if it’s ok with your mum Marc can sleep over, but don’t pester her. If it’s inconvenient I’ll pick him up at nine-thirty.”

Pol helped Marcy to put the tackle away in the garage and hugged her because she needed it. Marcy had been badly shaken by forgetting to hide her wellies and her mum’s last second reference to Pol’s wellies had been too close a call for comfort. Pol smiled as she saw the brothers in the corner of her eye following them looking at the fish tanks. She waited a moment till sure the brothers were watching them and hugged Marcy again before kissing her lips. The brothers turned and left in embarrassment. “See, Marce, that wasn’t difficult was it?” she whispered. “I told you all we had to do was change what they think. Another kiss or two and we’ve done it.”

Lunch was difficult for Marcy. She took little part in the conversation and Pol fielded most of the brothers’ questions. Marcy wasn’t hungry because the constant anxiety made her feel ill. She was terrified her brothers would wish to see her room, for it was the bedroom of a girl, and Pol’s reassurances that she would say the girly stuff was hers didn’t reassure her at all because there was nothing in the room that wasn’t girly, even the wallpaper. She was also sure her brothers would know their mum would never allow two twelve year olds of opposite sexes to share a room, and would draw appropriate conclusions: the room was shared by two girls. She’d shut all the doors upstairs except the combined bathroom and loo hoping the boys would be reluctant to open a shut door in case it was their mother’s room. Fortunately the matter was never raised and she was grateful they had a downstairs loo too. Her brothers never got the opportunity to sneak a look in to her room because they never went upstairs.

That Marc, a boy, slept over at the house of a girl was something the brothers had never imagined, never mind heard of, and much they learnt from Pol they found hard to accept. They were baffled by their mum’s reference to throwing knives. That couldn’t be legal surely? And why would someone want Marc’s opinion of them anyway? That Marc was not just popular amongst his peers but an influential trendsetter often consulted by boys as well as girls of all ages at school on matters of fashion and what was cool was not in accord with the character of the brother they thought they knew. They were stunned by the sophistication of his life, which their mother not only sanctioned but was a part of, and envied him his pretty and intelligent girlfriend.

The girlfriend who on hearing a car pull up had got off his knee, on which she’d been sitting for twenty minutes with her arm around him, and said, “Mum’s here. Come on, You,” as she dragged Marc by the hand out of the easy chair they had been sharing. As he stood Pol casually kissed his cheek and said as they left the room, “I won’t forget the sugar, Mrs. Aitch.”

When Lewis returned to collect the boys he was furious Julia had allowed Marc to avoid him, and Colin and Gerry were embarrassed by him. “You never had the time of day for him when we were married, Lewis, so you are being completely unreasonable to expect him to be in the least bit bothered about you now.”

“I’m his bloody father damn it!”

“Yes you are, and it’s taken you over twelve years to find that out. Twelve years, during most of which you not only made his life hell, but you encouraged his brothers to do the same. I never told you before, but the biggest single reason why I left you wasn’t your serial infidelities with the bimbos you met through work, but the way you treated Marc. Well, he’s found his own way now, and to put it bluntly neither you nor his brothers are involved, and I for one am not sorry. His girl friend’s dad is more a father to him than ever you were, and that’s why he’s not here. Professor Munro asked for his help in a relatively trivial matter which I considered to be more important than that he be pointlessly here and subject to your grudging acknowledgement of his existence and scathing condemnations of the way he chooses to live. If you ever want to be a part of his life you’ll have to do so on his terms because like me he’s walked out on you. Now before this gets even more unpleasant I suggest you take Colin and Gerry away, and they are welcome back tomorrow. You are not. Good evening.”

Their mother’s explanation as to why she had left their father caused Colin and Gerry a great deal of anguish, for they had missed her. Their dad’s girlfriend was an over ripe, unintelligent nineteen year old who was extremely jealous of their relationship with their dad. She resented the time he spent with them, couldn’t see why he went to football matches with them when they were old enough to go on their own and he could be taking advantage of the time alone with her, and more to the point taking advantage of her. She had told them she and their dad had marriage plans, and she wanted a family. She’d make it clear her vision of a family did not include them, and they were old enough to know their dad would sacrifice them to keep the gold digger he slept with. She never lost an opportunity to humiliate them, and they now realised, to their shame, that was just how they had treated their brother. The younger brother who lived with the mum they missed and now had a more grown up life than theirs, a life they envied.

It was clear to them their brother was not enjoying their company and didn’t care if he never saw them or their Dad again. They knew their mum loved them, but she’d subtly made it clear living with her was not a possibility. Their past behaviour had caught up with them.

At ten the following morning, Mrs. Munro dropped Marc off. Colin and Gerry, watching through the bay window, saw Pol get out of the back of the car with him, hug and kiss him before getting in the front seat. Marc waved as the car left.

“Was it a good evening, Marc?”

“Yes thank you. I put the sugar in the kitchen, Mum, we bought two bags and a box of lumps.” As instructed by Pol, he added, “Pol said she’d kill me if I forgot to get the lumps, and I got a bottle of that decent hair conditioner too.” Marcy was becoming tired of the charade which made her a little reckless, so with a wide eyed look at her mum she said, “As usual we dressed for dinner, and I persuaded Pol to wear that little black number I made her buy from Sophisticated Ladies(5) in stead of one of her usual big frocks. She looked gorgeous, really sexy. Her dad said she was finally growing up a bit, and her mum said it was really elegant with the way I’d done her hair, so I didn’t get the grief I’d expected from her, cos it is a little more décolleté than anything else Pol’s got, but then she was distracted by Pol’s bright red lipstick, said it made her look tarty. I thought it looked great.

“The Sicilian goat dish Pol’s mum cooked was superb. Can you believe it, she bought the goat meat at Sainsbury’s? I got a couple of bottles of really cheap Chianti at Morrisons that I’d never seen before, but I thought I’d better play safe and told Mrs. Munro she’d better get some decent Valpolicella Classico too rather than risk upsetting Professor Munro. It turned out the cheap stuff was like paint stripper, but he said it was ok with the goat which he reckoned needed something like it to cut through the fatty meat. He said to buy some more and he’d keep it for drinking with similar dishes. I said I’d give him some trout from Thursday’s trip. Pol’s mum is looking up trout recipes and her dad is deciding what he wants to drink with it. He’ll probably choose a German semi-dry white or a Portuguese semi-dry rosé, and he’ll want it not too cold. I know he hasn’t got anything like that, so I’ll probably have to go shopping again some time. Mrs. Munro has invited us and Justin for dinner when she cooks the trout.”

Colin asked, “What’s décolleté?”

His mum replied, “Revealing. A décolleté garment is one that’s cut rather low across the bosom and exposes more than is usual. I’ve a number of such gowns.” A bright red Colin just nodded because he’d no intention of being drawn into a discussion regarding his mother’s exposure of her breasts.

Gerry asked, “What do you mean you dressed for dinner?”

“Formal clothes. You know, women wear evening gowns and men dinner jackets,” Marcy replied disingenuously.”

“Oh. I see. You’ve got a dinner jacket?”

“I always dress formally for dinner at Pol’s, and yes, just like Mum, I have my own formal wear.”

Gerry looked at his mum and asked, “You wear an evening gown, Mum?”

“Of course. All women and girls in our circle do up here. Men look gorgeous in dinner jackets, although of course this close to the border a lot of men, like Pol’s dad, are Scottish and wear the kilts with a Prince Charlie dinner jacket and they are even nicer to look at. When we go out we like to enjoy it and who wants to wear clothes they wear to go shopping in for an event that should be special. Your brother chose my favourite evening gown for me which is so décolleté in style we had to shop for a balconette bra to go with it because I needed the support, but it looks fabulous and gets me noticed. Pol says he has exquisite taste in women’s clothes, and she always takes him along to help her choose clothes, doesn’t she, Love.”

Marcy shrugged, “Yes. We can spend all day shopping for clothes, and you can write off half a day in a lingerie shop like La Senza, but it’s nice spending time with her, though doubtless it’ll be a full day at Victoria’s Secret in Gateshead with her mum and Mum going too. Pol likes feeding the fish, but has no intention of getting wet and cold fishing or coneying on the fells, so if I want to spend time with her I go shopping, and she enjoys me shopping with her too. And Justin definitely notices mum wearing that gown.”

Gerry completely out of his depth talking of shopping, women’s clothes, lingerie, kilts and formal dining decided to allow the topic to lapse, especially after his mum referred to Marc helping her buy a bra to give her support and get her noticed. He didn’t wish to hear concerning her relationships with men, and definitely didn’t wish to know who Justin was. Having to listen to his father and his girl friend making love was bad enough because he knew Colin could hear too. It was something they didn’t discuss. The idea of his mum with a man was mortifying.

The boys’ mum had had a few dates with men she thought she could be interested in, but had not taken them any further once she decided they would not accept Marcy as she was. She was still looking, but any man she entered into a relationship with had to not just accept her daughter but be supportive of her. She was currently seeing Justin one of Pol’s dad’s colleagues who was a physicist, and things were looking hopeful. Justin got on well with Marcy, had supportive views concerning not just trans issues but all identity issues, but had not yet been told that Marcy was a trans girl, though Marcy and her mum suspected he was aware of it.

Colin asked, “Where are you going fishing, Marc?”

“Wildgeese reservoir. It’s a huge artificial lake, over in the North East stocked with rainbows from their own commercial hatchery, costs a hundred quid a day for members, but that includes a packed lunch with a flask of tea or coffee as well as the rod fee, or you can pay a bit more and eat in the restaurante. We always have the packed lunch. It’s a decent meal and we get more time fishing that way. The whole day will probably cost a hundred and twenty each, but it’s the only place I know of where there’s no limit on your catch, probably because they raise their own. The hatchery is huge and ships fingerlings all over the world. We’ll sell the fish to the hotels for more than that. It’s a free day out, we have a lot of fun as long as it’s not pouring down and we made fifty quid apiece last time we went.

“Brown trout from the rivers are worth more than rainbows, but they’re rarer, smaller and harder to catch round here and there’s a catch limit, so Sean’s dad takes us north east every six weeks or so. It’s well worth the two hundred quid a year membership, but if you give them the equivalent of two full twelve hour days help looking after the place, path clearing, scrub cutting, fence repairing, litter picking, strimming and the like they waive the membership fee, and it’s a lot of fun anyway. We spent a long weekend camping over Easter helping out and fished on the Monday. There must have been sixty anglers and their families from all over the country helping and camping. The weather was great and the barbecues and dances at night were excellent.

“They’re holding a huge dinner dance, more like a ball really, in the new clubhouse this Christmas for members and their families, and I’ve ordered tickets for six of us. Did you speak to Sean’s dad, Mum?”

“No. He was on call and had to go to work, a major substation overhead connection Penrith way went out due to a lightening strike. It was on the news. They sent a helicopter for him and the others, and said they’d no idea how long it would take, but I spoke to Sean’s mum, and no I don’t want any fish. We’ll never eat what’s in the freezer, so I’m trying to give some away. The trouble is all your friends’ mums have freezers full too. Ask some of the girls to ask their mums if they want any will you? Start with Lydia.”

“Ok, Mum.”

Gerry asked, “You said the dances were excellent, Marc. You dance?”

“Yeah. We all do, all the boys too I mean as well as the girls. It’s not just disco dancing here. We do ballroom dancing too, and a lot of us are members of the local Scottish country dancing society as well as the school dancing club. It’s a lot of fun and a great way for girls and boys to mix, especially over the winter when it’s too dark to do much outside except over the weekends. Loads of kids go out with girls or boys they met as dancing partners.”

Colin, who like Gerry had never stood up on a dance floor, asked, “What was that about throwing knives? What do you do with them?”

“Throw them at targets. It’s a sport like darts or archery. It’s getting popular round here. It started at a club in Dumfries, but we have a club at school now with almost as many girls throwing as boys. There’s an inter school league and a knockout championship. Pol tried, but gave it up, cos she’s no good at it.”

Gerry asked, “Why does Pol’s dad ask you to choose his wine, Marc?”

“It’s a long story, but in spite of her being an amazing cook Pol’s mum never remembers what she’s bought before. Pol’s dad is really clever, but he’s autistic and has Asperger’s. He’s uncomfortable being with people he doesn’t know, doesn’t mix socially and spends most of his time in his study. We’re all working on him to go to the Wildgeese dance this Christmas, cos Pol’s mum would love him to go with her even if he only dances with her, Mum and Pol. He enjoys a bottle of wine with a decent dinner. I think dinner is his only interest apart from his work, so he likes to do it properly which is why we always dress for dinner at Pol’s.

“Shopping is difficult for him, but he reckons I’m not a bad judge of what goes with what. That’s because a long time ago I told him Retsina went with the lamb we were eating. I’d never even heard of Retsina before which is Greek and tastes of resin. Pol says it’s drinkable loo cleaner. Any way he knows if he tells me what he wants I’ll get it if they’ve got it, and if not he trusts me to get a reasonable substitute. Ages ago I made a few mistakes but not many and none in the last six months because if I’m not sure I get some thing else that I’m sure of too. I’ve learnt quite a lot regarding wine now. It’s really interesting, and he’s willing to let me take a chance on something new. He says at the worst it can be cooked with.”

Colin asked, as if he were scoring a point over his younger brother, “Why doesn’t Pol do it if she’s so clever?”

Their mum laught and replied, “You have to know Pol to understand. She’s perfectly capable of doing it, but prefers Marc to do it so she can be seen by any of their friends who are shopping too holding hands with him. She’s a lovely girl, but she is a little possessive concerning your brother.”

The nightmare that was the weekend eventually passed, and Marcy was relieved it was over without having had to meet her father and she and Pol could revert to their normal girl-girl relationship. Her mum still laught when Marcy’s remark, “I always dress formally for dinner at Pol’s, and yes just like Mum I have my own formal wear,” crossed her mind.

Pol’s mum had laughingly telt them they were a high flying pair of con artists and that Julia was almost as bad.

“I didn’t notice you batting an eyelid, Mum, when I got out of the car and kissed Marce. You could have blown us in then if you’d wanted to, couldn’t you?”

Lydia sobered instantly and said, “No I didn’t and yes I could, but I didn’t want to, for no one should be given a hard time for things beyond their control, and I regret the necessity that you had to do it to protect Marcy, but that doesn’t mean I had to like it, does it?”

“No it doesn’t, but any way, Mum, it was scary, but kind of fun in a way too. Maybe I’ll consider acting as a career. What do you think, Marce?”

“Scary, yes. Fun, no. Mum was happy to see my brothers, but I can’t say I was, all they ever do is talk sport, and I was glad I didn’t have to talk to my dad. My bothers and I never had anything in common and we have even less now.”

Notes on Word Usage

1 Kay, slang for ok.
2 Mrs. Yeomans, Marcy’s gender dysphoria consultant.
3 Cos, slang for because.
4 Wellies, Wellington boots. Wellies are tall, waterproof boots made of rubber.
5 Sophisticated Ladies, an up market, rather expensive ladies’ clothing store.

Ch 6 Macy’s friends find her a boyfriend and then she finds herself on Castle.