Arm Candy

Agnes, an attractive woman who appeared to be about thirty, had dressed carefully but conservatively for her interview. The job was working in a children’s day care centre managed by a twenty-eight year old woman who introduced herself as Sharon. She didn’t provide a surname, but Agnes already knew who she was and a lot about Sharon because she’d done her homework for the job. Agnes considered it incongruous that the manageress of a large nursery looked ill kempt and like she could do with a good meal.

Agnes, an attractive woman who appeared to be about thirty, had dressed carefully but conservatively for her interview. The job was working in a children’s day care centre managed by a twenty-eight year old woman who introduced herself as Sharon. She didn’t provide a surname, but Agnes already knew who she was and a lot about Sharon because she’d done her homework for the job. Agnes considered it incongruous that the manageress of a large nursery looked ill kempt and like she could do with a good meal.

“Tell me about yourself and why you want the position, Agnes.”

“I am forty-seven and over my life I’ve had many part time jobs, mostly involving working with people. I separated from my spouse over twenty years ago and have no children still at home. There’s little to say that I didn’t put on the application form. As I filled in, I write a occasional articles for magazines and local papers from time to time which earns me a little money. I spend a lot of time looking after my grandchildren for my daughter Siv who like her husband is a busy professional in the city. We have a financial agreement. I would like to be more independent which is one reason why I would like this job. I have filled in all the forms. I have no convictions and know of no other reasons why I shouldn’t do the job and am more than willing to have an enhanced CRB check done as required.”

“Agnes, that’s not your life in it’s entirety is it? I know you live on the hill and must be worth a considerable amount of money. I also have a good suspicion as to how you earnt that money, people talk you know. Why did you tell me what you did?”

“Because it was all true. Agreed, I did not tell you everything about my life, why should I? But what I told you was the truth, any lie was one of omission not commission.

“How did you think you would get away with it?”

“I have told you, there was nothing to get away with. I have committed no crime and told no lies. If that is an issue then you are the one with the problem not me.”

“What will your family think when they find out?”

“You’re talking nonsense! Since my family know all about me, as well as just about every one else in town, why should they think anything? What on earth gives you to think that I am any less fit to look after children than you. Let’s have it all on the table. I know about you too, as you said people talk. You have no man, and go to clubs for a good time and give sex away to strangers. I, on the other hand, am an expensive escort and an evening of my time sets my clientèle back well into four figures. So don’t try to take a high and mighty moral tone with me. And more to the point what will your clients, who are the parents of the children you look after, think when they find out about you? As I am sure they will eventually. My clients, who despite what you may think merely wish some pleasant, attractive and intelligent company for official functions, and I admit occasionally a little more, already know all about me!”

“So how did it go, Mum?”

“I got challenged about my escort work by the scruffy, skanky little tramp that manages the place, but I soon put her in her place with a few remarks concerning her evening activities. She offered me the job, but I changed my mind. I didn’t like the idea of working with her. She made me feel like I needed a bath with disinfectant. I’ll find something to keep me occupied, don’t worry, Siv. I’ll give Enid a ring about voluntary work. Funny really, A skank who gives it away at every opportunity having a go at me because I work as an escort, which as you know involves being public arm candy most of the time and only rarely having sex, which is a pity really.”

“Mum!”

“Tysta ner, Siv. You’re a grown woman you must know what the itch that’s got to be scratched is like when David is working away from home. As I was saying she tackled me over something I’ve never tried to hide, and every one knows about, but you know what really puzzled me?”

“What’s that?”

“I put down on the application form who I write articles for from time to time but she obviously hadn’t realised most were LGBTQ+ publications, and, despite having lived here eight years, she must be the only person in town who doesn’t know I used to be your dad.”