Obsession
I can still remember the first time.
A cousin who lived close was visiting when he whispered that his older brother had magazines with pictures of naked women in them.
As I had never seen a naked women, I was curious, but I scoffed, so he snuck them over.
Sure enough, some of the women were naked, although some were wearing stockings or heels.
But even as I have said I hadn’t seen a naked woman before, I could see that these had something different about them.
Besides the proud breasts, pretty faces, smooth arms, and long legs, these girls had something else - each of these ladies had a rampant erection.
And with that first viewing, my life’s pattern was set.
I was, to put it simply, hooked on these “special” girls, and as time went by, my obsession only grew worse.
My fantasies evolved, from having one of these girls as my girlfriend, to me being one as well.
And I hated myself for that.
Time went on, and I grew up, and by chance I came across a website with stories for and by trans people, and for the first time, I saw them differently.
They were no longer merely the empty objects of sexual fantasies, but real people.
People who were brave and scared, beautiful and handsome, wounded and strong.
And so even as I made friends with them all, I made a vow to never mention the fantasies I carried inside of me.
Because they have shared how they are sometimes hit on by guys just for being trans, and how horrible it made them feel to be reduced to a sex object.
So I keep silent, even though the fantasies plague me still.
Its the least I can do.
End
Comments
Conflict
As you so often do in these short pieces, you do a wonderful job in portraying conflicting emotions. In this case, the conflict between prurience and respect, where the character wants to give both. Nice job capturing that, and also showing how it grew and changed over time.
Titania
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
thanks so much, Titania
This one was tricky, because a lot of us have had negative experiences with guys who are "tranny chasers", so I had to give this particular guy some redemptive qualities as well.
Wow Dottie, thought provoking!
I've had a similar experiences and couldn't really understand the curiosity & fascination I had for them. And then one day I found these story sites, and the more I read, the more it all started to make sense. Thank you hon for posting this. Loving Hugs Popcorn Lady
it makes sense, Popcorn lady?
do tell us more ...
huggles!
Tranny chasers can be a pain.
'Tranny chasers' can be a pain.
They bring a predatory sexual element to situations where that element is often not wanted. Many of them seem to presume that all trannies are looking for some sexual aspect when I suspect a large proportion of them are not.
Technically I could be described as a 'pre-op' transsexual by others and this attracts a lot of attention when 'tranny chasers' find out; fortunately for me there is no problem in letting them down gently.
(Yes, you'd be surprised how many 'tranny chasers' have come on to me ... a seriously wrinkly 68-year-old tranny!)
For my friends however it gets to be a real pain when some chasers refuse to take no for an answer.
As to our fantasies, mine remain just that, fantasies. Some of my friends sometimes explore their fantasies and I consider that a perfectly normal indicator of their youth. I think most of us have wondered where our boundaries lie. Believe it or not we discuss our fantasies with each other.
That is something many men simply refuse to countenance but I think it is the supreme indicator of trust. By this element alone, transgender friendships can be deeper and more supportive than other relationships. We actually find we can discuss our fantasies better between ourselves than with our counsellors or psychiatrists. (That is if we visit them.)
Good article Dot, much food for thought.
P.S. Please do not be offended by my use of the shortened 'tranny' for transvestite.
My Merseyside roots pre-dispose me to using many vernacular reductions like 'ciggie' for cigarette and 'chewie' for chewing gum.
Bev.
thanks, Bev.
I wanted to create a character who was kinda on the edge of being a "tranny chaser" without making him totally unsympathetic.
And yeah, I agree the level of trust I have with some members of this community is deeper than that I have with anybody who ist trans.
Thanks for reading and commenting on the story.
Good Story, Dottie
To me, it's sort of foreign. While pre-op, I didn't want any involvement with guys or with lesbians. I was afraid of the guys and also afraid the lesbians would be grossed out (probably because I was) and/or rejecting.
I did get involved with another pre-op; she did give me my first female orgasms, (Truly; post-op they were just the same) but she didn't seem to realize she was in a same sex relationship. When I was post-op and healed, she fucked me once, then withdrew, broke up painfully and decided she was het.
After much thought and reading, much of it here and especially Bailey Summer's stories, I'm more excepting of m2f non-ops and so called 'she males'. But I've not had contact with them, affairs or even making out.
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee