The Struggle
A stray hair found its way down into her eyes, and she swept aside, tucking it behind her ear.
It wasnt until a moment later that she realized how feminine an action that was, and cursed herself.
She’d caught herself doing things like that more and more often lately, and she hated when they happened.
It seemed like she now had to FIGHT to keep any male mannerisms, that as soon as she relaxed, she went back to feminine ones.
And she couldn’t seem to stop calling herself a “she” either.
The change had crept up on her, so she couldn’t exactly say when it really started, but she finally noticed how much she had changed a couple of months ago.
And it wasn’t just mannerisms either. Yesterday when she was introduced to a new student at school, she blanked on her own name, and couldn’t seem to find a way to say it.
But what could she do about it? Who could she tell, without sounding like a crazy person?
Then she saw the councilor for her school, Mrs. Adams.
“Could she help? What choice do I have, since I dont think I can carry this load alone?” she thought., and then made the choice to run up to the councilor.
“Mrs. Adams? Can I talk to you?”
“Sure, Sam. Come on into my office.”
A short walk later, they went into the councilor’s office, and Mrs. Adams closed the door.
“Now, Samuel. What can I do for you?”
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Comments
Samuel, it's not....
Easy to be a boy, you'll have to work at it. says Mrs Adams. But why? They make it look so easy! Say an exasprated Samuel. ( silly girl! ) giggles Taarpa
silly girl?
takes one to know one, I guess.
Giggles and runs away ....
The Struggle for Samuel is to
The Struggle for Samuel is to be who he/she truly is.
May Your Light Forever Shine
Samuel has the right to be Sammi.
I have never had this type of inner struggle and never hid it from anyone, either. I know by reading a lot of stories in here over the years, that there are many who not only have had this type of struggle, but actually was physically hurt because of it. Well, during my prepubescent years, I had the most wonderful girl years, but it was 6 months before I turned 13 that all of that was to, temporarily, come to an end. I won't say how, why or who was to blame, but it was through no fault of my own. It is too bad that society inflicts this "struggle" on the transgender people.
Everybody has the right to be who they are in their soul. This little story says a lot, in so few words.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
glad you liked it, Barbra
It is too bad that society makes us hide our true selves. Maybe one day, every trans person will only read about this kind of struggle.
I remember being terrified of
I remember being terrified of doing something girly and being figured out, I'm just lucky I never realized I could act masculine to cover it up instead of just trying to hide it :p.
grtz & hugs,
Sarah xxx
being terrified of being "found out"
I lived in fear of being found out too. Somehow, I managed to escape detection for a long time, which turned out to not be a good thing .... \
Thanks for commenting, Sarah.