Disclaimer: I am not suicidal.

Years ago, right after I came out, and went through all that happens to us, I was extremely depressed, and hospitalized several times. Such pain and depressive episodes is common amongst those in our community, so I am nothing special, and do not need anyone to call the Police. It was a very fortunate thing that I served in the Military 66-69, so am seen as a Vietnam Era Veteran, so the VA has been very caring of me in most ways. I sometimes feel like an interloper because I did not see combat.

Over the years I have experienced the loss of many of my stories due to the failure of storage media. Lately, I've tried to back things up with portable USB Hard Drives, and Thumb Drives, and all seem to fail eventually. A Story that I started back in the late 70s is still with me because the whole thing was printed out on a Dot Matrix Printer. I hope to eventually get back to work on it.

I can change a clutch on a 50 Ford hay truck, give shots to an ailing farm animal, and change a 300 HP 3 phase electric Motor, but I find computer software to be intimidating.

I'm encouraged and inspired enough to finally finish a story that I started in 2009, Hala's Snow Day. Cowgirl Hala, 2016 was the sequel to it, and I have the rest of it sitting on my Hard Disk in various states of completion. My list of published stories is a right mess and I am sorry for that.

Another Writer that I have enjoyed so much was Amethyst. She was working on "Twice Removed" and stopped. Another professional work suddenly abandoned. I hope that whatever she moved on to is satisfying and pays well.

Blessings to you Amethyst, wherever you are.

Gwen

I was digging through my stories just now and am amazed that several of them have gotten over 100 kudos! Thank you.

One of them, "Balmoral" was published in June last year. :)

I had started to write several other chapters to "Hala's Snow Day", but with RL wearing me down, had sort of abandoned the effort. I hope that the files are still lying where I left them, assuming that Microsoft has not done anything untoward with them. I still dislike the way that win10 manages files, but I have not one single gene of computer nerd in me.

I think that anyone who wants to can follow the "Jazz Story", and it seems to me like there is a lot of hype going on, but to be fair, perhaps she is having problems?

I have never seen a Trans girl look as good and sound as good as her. Is that what a lot of coaching and surgery can do or is she actually Intersex? At any rate, I wish her the best.

These days, with all that's going on around us, I'm having a very hard time managing things, as I am sure some of you are also. Certain things are triggering me worse than I can ever remembering them doing. I promise, no drama, as much as I can manage it.

A close friend of mine sent me a short article that explains a bit, so perhaps it will help some of you also?

http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/30/abused-children-may-ge...

Much peace.

Gwen

Not completely sure about this. I lifted it off a spanish page. It appears that Facebook is closing, and it is dated 2019.

Read Angela's story about the big juicy Football player and the effeminate boy. Gosh, I hope they get themselves sorted.

Somehow the story hooked me into one of those teary mindsets, you know, the ones you could break out of if you wanted to. It's only about 1:30 AM here and I think I just want to wallow in my misery for a while. Yeah, just be a sloppy, weepy, pathetic old tranny that most just wish you would just shut up or die.

For a while there was a story called, "Who The Hell Am I". I haven't seen an installment in a while. Did it exist or was it a hallucination caused by a high fever? It was NOT ,"Who Am I?"

I was going to again read "Deception of Choice" (I think that is the title), written by Itinerant but the story is not listed in that Author's works. (I think Itinerant wrote it). I've looked elsewhere on the Internet and not found it. This story is very important to me because reading it, and "Bike" during the really hard years helped me to not allow things to end badly.

If I've gotten the facts muddled up, can someone help me please?

Much Peace

Gwen

There always seems to be quite a lot of young T folk on YouTube, and most are too over the top and exhibitionistic, as youth are wont to be. Don't mean to offend anyone. This old bat is past all that, so I live very quietly most of the time. It's possible to make comments on their blogs, and I used to get replies. For reasons unknown, I can no longer get replies on YouTube.

In re-reading a certain story by a UK Author, I've been exploring authentic recipes of the isles. It was a pleasant surprise to actually discover what a Bacon Sarnie and Chips are. As near as I can tell the bacon used is simply Canadian Bacon between slices of bread. I used very non acid Mayonnaise (can't use anything tomato) and a few sliced pickles. Deep fried "fries" cause me intestinal ructions, so to find baked and seasoned, thickly sliced potatoes in an international store were a pleasant surprise.

Doing an extensive GI to my apartment and find I have two old Computers lying around. Both were working when I shut them down. One is a big ASUS N50V. Laptop. The sticker says it has VISTA in it but I know it has Linux because I bought it from a place that only sells them used with Linux. I'll likely leave the HD, of unknown size in it. I never really learned Linux, so didn't put anything on it.

The other is a Dell XPS 430 with NO hard drive. I'll remove it for security.

I'm thinking of writing a tale about a person of indeterminate gender who mostly lives as a woman. This person supports herself by writing code, sometimes nefariously. The world is well advanced into a threatening Global Warming cycle that has been happening for over three generations, and surprisingly humanity is so pressed to survive that wars and most criminality has stopped, but not before over half the population is gone.

I hope this sounds full on pissed off and not whiney.

I've been out and living as a woman since 2004, and have been treated by the normals (Muggles) amazingly well, though in the last year, it has been getting more and more difficult to pass well.

Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria

This is NOT an indictment of TG stories, and in fact my opinion is that they provide a wonderful "safety valve", for us.

I no longer have the patience to try to log onto Forums, but I did see a thread from someone that has my sympathy. They live in a state that wouldn't know what to do with a T folk if someone hit them with a ball bat.

I'd just like to suggest that there are places to live that are much more progressive, Oregon and California being two. It was about two months from the time I came out until my legal documentation was changed over, except for my Birth Certificate which is very easy and I still have not done.

Blessings to her.

Gwen

Each of us makes our own internal, mental adjustments to accommodate the reality which we face. Sometimes, that reality is bitter and painful, and I think that all of us have faced a time like that to one extent or another.

I was talking to another post op MtF woman the other day, and her experience was the same as mine. They did the surgery, let me convalesce for several days and then wanted another $3000 to finish the job. I had no more money, so came home with no Labial lips. The woman I talked to did the same thing. I don't want to reveal the name of the surgeon here, but I will if you PM me.

For the purposes of a story or perhaps real life, I am wondering how far a rider can push a bike in a day? For my purposes, my bike has been quite nice with the gear ratios being to my liking but perhaps a bit low. My tires are 700 x 32 (what does that even mean?) with a maximum inflation of 75 psi, which I routinely run at 80 psi. It's got a Shimano sprocket set. The frame is one of those crosses between a high bar and a drop frame. I'm very tender, so there will be no high bar frame.

Due to a past broken C-6, I ride upright. 9-11 MPH is fine for me.

I have been reading Shadows blade's story about Rohanna and find it entertaining. There are, however some unanswered questions.

I think that several Authors have written about Aunghadhail, though I do not remember who. In one story, Aunghadhail is killed. I do not know who originated these tales about Aunghadhail, though in this story it seems possible that Rohanna and Aunghadhail may come to a truce of sorts.

Last night, someone tried to charge $360 on my Credit Card from Nike. The card is shut down. I've never had this happen before.

Now to return to hand written checks. :(

Gwen

So, my latest story is out, and admittedly I should have split it in two. Perhaps, what I had thought of as my "style", should have had an editor fix it? I don't want my writing to be like it just came out of an English Composition class, so maybe somewhere between? I wanted it to portray speakers that were not English or US folk.

It is obvious that my High School English teacher would be having a fit.

Or can it be that the readership just did not want normal, nonviolent Middle Easterners?