My mind could easily write very XXX stories, despite the fact that I can't use those stories for sexual release. My body just won't respond. Medically speaking, it is likely that the build up of scar tissue has cut off sensitivity.
On the flip side, back in real life, old age has caused my ability to present myself authentically as female to decline. Gone are the days when I could Professionally Belly Dance. I'm still <5'7" and 180 lbs, though started out about 30 lbs. slimmer. So, for a long time my presentation as a woman was credible. I'm sad to see that departing. So, now days, I've begun to return to covering myself like a Muslim woman as camouflage. Fortunately, I still have the female voice that got me in trouble when I was impersonating a man.
Something I can not understand is that when I see a female with too little clothing on, (in my female mind set) , I feel embarrassed and sad for her. What makes a woman go around and live as an objectified sex object? Are women built to crave male admiration, or does our culture ingrain that in them? OR, perhaps that view of women is simply an artifact that the media tries to pawn off on us? Mostly, the women I see in public are slobs that dress in tight pants and sloppy tops. The are overtly sexual because that is who they are.
I know that there are men on this site who have daughters, but come here to work something about their own genders out by reading and writing stories, and I don't fault you. Perhaps the sight of your own daughter(s) prancing around in too little bothers you like it did me.
After living as a woman, and with women for 15 years, it is so obvious to me that women ruthlessly compete with each other, and that mostly for the attention of men. Is that part of the nest building drive that our Archeology puts in us, or is it something that our cultures do to women?
Meanwhile, an Arab man told me on Facebook, that I have a great ass! I immediately blocked him. Nope I'm definitely not getting anything going. Would any woman be flattered by and talk to such a man?!?
Comments
It also ties to why some women stay with aggressive men
To my mind, het women think aggressive men at some instinctual level means they are strong and capable of protecting their offspring. Now in this modern age, while there is still some truth to that, women in advanced societies who can get good employment opportunities don’t really need men aside from a sperm sample and a good weapon. Men just do not take that very well.
Oooh! Belly Dancing.
I used to be in a belly dance troupe. We performed at a number of events in Ottawa, Canada, and elsewhere, including for The Dragon Boat Festival, Canada Day Celebrations and The National Arts Center (in the lobby, not on stage).
I'm afraid it's been a while since I seriously danced. I SO miss being incredibly fit and flexible. (I did yoga as well for the flexibility.)
Too little clothing?
Is wearing very little clothing necessarily being an exhibitionist? That presumes a knowledge of a person's motive that might be true in some cases but not all. Why do people sexualize nudity when it's our natural state? If the weather permits it, it's a hell of a lot more comfortable, and the sight of skin in itself doesn't turn people into sex crazed monsters unless they've all been conditioned that way. I don't think Native Australians, Southwest Native Americans & South Sea Islanders have this problem. Naked is NOT an invitation to sex, bending over and wiggling your ass at someone + screaming "FUCK ME FUCK ME!" is (Hey, what can I say? I was rilly drunk...). All this body-shame nonsense is a product of the dirty-minded male mindset behind the big three Abrahamic religions that says the flesh is a bad thing; dirty, nasty + something keeping us separate from our gods (or goddesses- YAY!). And that's their business if they get off on guilt, but why do they insist on imposing it on the rest of us? They've sold the world a neurotic bill of goods that I hope we can recover from someday...
~Love, Laika the Old Naked Pantheist Hippie Chick
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(Judaism, Christianity and Islam have all contributed beautiful things to the world and there adherents aren't any worse or better than anyone else on this wet rock in space, but I disagree that I'm "fallen" and need their help getting back up. I know I've sinned, but to me that's only about when I've hurt others; and it's for me to fix, not some innate and permanent state of being. It's such a fundamental difference in thinking that there's not much they can say to me or I to them that's of any use...)
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.
There's a difference.
There's a difference.
Nudist vs. exhibitionists both love being naked but like you point out nudists and I dare add naturalists don't get a thrill from the showing of their bodies. That's what it is, a thrill to exhibitionists especially the reactions of others. The other two just want to be themselves and don't shame others about their bodies, they have seen it all before and only make mention of someone when they cross the line and make nudity sexual or take offense to others.
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Struggling
When I am not writing, I spend lots of time researching religions, and sometimes I get to the brink of Atheism in my disappointment at what I see happening. I agree with your protest that I've quoted below.
"(Judaism, Christianity and Islam have all contributed beautiful things to the world and there adherents aren't any worse or better than anyone else on this wet rock in space, but I disagree that I'm "fallen" and need their help getting back up."
The Original Sin Doctrine is a 2nd Century artifact of the early Church, and is completely against reasonable thinking along with the Trinity, Transubstantiation, and some other ideas that have been fed to the ignorant innocents.
Full nudity
Full nudity is a lot less titillating than partial nudity where strategic body parts are barely covered.
In my youth, I spent some time at a nude beach. There were some very fit young ladies there. After my first time there, when I was amazed at the number of people who seem totally unconcerned about the amount of exposed flesh, their own and those around them, I found it quite tranquil, rather than arousing.
The only time that I found it in the slightest titillating was when a not to fit middle aged woman chose the beach directly in front of me to undress and that was only while she was disrobing. After, it was the same old average day at the nude beach.
Hugs
Patricia
Happiness is being all dressed up and HAVING some place to go.
Semper in femineo gerunt
Ich bin eine Mann
I think the answer lies here.
It certainly answered some questions for me. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgcjtE0xrE
Exhibitionism Is Something Else
I don't think this is exhibitionism, unless they're getting a sexual thrill from it. More likely for these women it's the same thing everyone else seeks to one extent or another. Affirmation, acceptance, to be seen as they see themselves. Validation. The bolstering of ego and the banishment of insecurity. To be admired.
It's in the human psyche, a need for other people to like us, to interact with others, to have others make us feel better about ourselves.
I'm not saying you can't call it exhibitionism, but it's more akin to preening, and considering all the levels at which it occurs, it's more benign than malignant, and just comes with the territory.
The Disgrace of Honesty
Perhaps revealing one of my inner drives won't carry the disgrace that I fear it will, but I must admit that I sometimes have very lewd thoughts.
I've been working on a story that starts out completely XXX, but evolves into a vanilla love story that is packed with action. I'm struggling with deciding if the BDSM in that first section is a necessary part of the plot. It is obviously the product of a bent mind. I'm sure that all of us have kinky thoughts at times but few of us actually express them in public.
Pondering, pondering.
Puritan view might surprise you ...
Unfortunately, the modern view is that the difference between Victorian attitudes about sex and Puritan views were interchangeable.
Nothing could be farther from the truth. While Puritans believed sex belong solely in the confines of marriage as did the Victorians, they were decidedly pro-sex. They felt the romantic and intimate expression of love making was a gift from God to be celebrated and enjoyed. So much so that in one case, they ex-communicated one man for not having sex with his wife.
A large part of what guides me in writing my prose is this Puritan view and my own Quaker and Puritan ancestry. I prefer sex in the context of marriage, faithfulness to one partner, et al. Now, to a certain extent, the awakening of sexual desire will be addressed in a story I may have written or will write, but never is it taken to the extent that the act is complete with full description.
Which brings me around to your question about exhibitionists. Yes, I am disturbed by the blatant advertisements of sex around us. I have been since my teenage years. The objectification of either male or females while ignoring an individual's potential to make a positive contribution is sad. I can remember the first time I heard Christopher Cross or Joe Cocker or Janice Joplin or Mama Cass on the radio, I certainly didn't judge them by their sex appeal. In fact, Mama Cass was my favorite singer of the Mamas and the Papas. She was a delight. But, all of these singers were not necessarily on the most handsome or beautiful lists.
And, it disturbs me to this day that we lost one of the most beautiful voices in all of pop music because of a body appearance issue. That would be Karen Carpenter who died from anorexia. I adored her signing. She could have weighed three hundred pounds and I would still get a thrill over hearing the beautiful voice coming out of her.
But today, it seems unless you look as beautiful as Taylor Swift or as handsome as Robin Thicke, your talent as a singer is ignored. And the quality of the music has degraded to trash songs like Blurred Lines.
One of the reasons I enjoy French Music so much is how centered they are in things that improve my life. From the Beauty of Doubt by Florent Pagney which celebrates long term commitment to Patrick Fiori's Elles which celebrates womanhood to Patrick Bruel's Qui a le Droit which discusses the lies we tell our children to justify our divorces and bad personal choices we make in our relationships, French music lifts me up whereas when I hear modern American songs I want often to puke.
Which leads me to my point. I detest the ethos that diminishes the individual trans"man/woman" that says unless they look like they are coming off a modeling carpet, they don't count. Yes, I understand the issue of attractiveness. But, one of the positive and clear messages of movies like Tootsie or Mrs. Doubtfire is that you don't have to look like a model in order to pass as a woman.
For what it is worth, when you write your stories the way you often do, you build up the beauty of a relationship built on qualities that endure or point out the ugliness of qualities that destroy relationships and cause pain. Either way, you are exploring our human nature.
That makes them worth your time and trouble to write.
Happy pondering and Happy New Year ...
AuP
Ancient Christian Theologians
Please remember that one of the favorite topics of debate during this same time period was how many Angels could dance on the head of a pin. The definitive answer- found centuries later- is as many as want to. Since the second day of the Christian church’s creation the need of church leaders has (and is still) been to complexify, codify, and interpret the message so to control the layity. And do not discount the power of surrounding culture to also control the expression of faith (arabic modesty norms forced on Islam) either.
BAK 0.25tspgirl
XXX content
I find much of the explicit sexual content- even plot centric- to rapidly become boring. Laurell K Hamilton’s works lost interest for me when I had to skim past 60% of the book. Thankfully she pulled back on the porn level and made her sex scenes move plot again. I skip a lot in BCTS for the same reasons. Porn must fit plot and characters to be valuable writing (unless it’s the whole story...).
BAK 0.25tspgirl