So, a good friend of mine at church, mostly figured me out, or at least I thought she did. But, later she told me she had not and to have me talk to her about it was really jarring to her. I've been with this church for 18 months and am extremely happy. Now this latest stupidity on my part feels really awful and I am very frightened of the consequences.

Going on a bit of a Walkabout to Eastern Oregon. Plan to be back around Monday or Tuesday.

Khadijah

Um so this girl freely admits that she is not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to computers. So, this girl's computer is being funny. When posting on some sites, it looks like the ribbon on her typer thingy is running out of ink. Well, this girl does not believe there is such a ribbon in her computer, at least she has never found one. Where would they put such a thing?

I just thought I would say this while I have a chance so nothing gets left unsaid. Just to be clear, last night I recieved nothing more than a a scare, according to the doctor, but my roomate won't let me out of her sight today, so it scared both of us.

So, no drama, but i just wanted to make sure that I told everyone here what a great bunch you are with the exception of one or two who get crabby now and again. I do not think that anyone here has ever had a cross word for me, even when I was spouting radical Islamic propaganda. :)

Well, I am sufficiently certain that I am having a cycle of some sort that I have downloaded an Ap called "My Days" to see if there is any veracity to the idea at all. I've been suspecting this for quite a while, so in two or three months I will know for sure. I placed my start date at the 22nd of July.

This is hard to understand, because there is no cycle to my hormones, so either my brain is having a field day with me or the moon is sending me suggestions.

So, do any of you have similar delusional states?

Gwendolyn

So, I intended to go camping this week end and when I got where I was going, there was lightning, rain and a tornado warning, so I wound up sleeping indoors.

As part of my meticulous planning for this trip, I managed to leave my Trazidone at home. By the time I got home, I'd been off it two days, and last night I felt I was doing so well that maybe this was the time to just quit it cold turkey.

Last night was so hot that I did not sleep well at all but did manage to get a few hours sleep in my, by now, sticky itchy sheets.

I'm still mildly seething, sort of like a dragon with smoke coming out my nostrils, but no flames. In my time being in the world of women, as one, I have never encountered a woman who acted like a man, aside from simply openly hostile, man hater, lesbian women, and even their presentation was, well lacking.

I am in a writer's group once a month and much to my surprise, one of the small group is a published author and has written a few novels that I think are doing well. J P Blackmer, does that ring any bells? He writes Scottish fiction set about 600 years ago.

So, now to the point. He said that when he writes a book, he writes a little bit here, and some there, and finally in the middle and when he thinks he has a story then he works out ways to join all the little bits together. Hmmm. I wonder if I should try that?

Gwendolyn

It has been months I think since I last heard from Beth. I haven't seen her on and know that she was having some health challenges, but appeared to be improving.

Has anyone heard from her?

Gwendolyn

I am reading a certain main stream Author's stories again after 25 or so years. He has one series of books about 12 books long and with my experiences in the intervening years, I am more sensitive in recognizing certain tendencies that seem to be common among TG genre folk.

The way he and his team of researchers have handled certain subjects in these books makes me suspect that a good many of our stories right here in BCTS could survive and perhaps do well in the main stream market, especially those with relatively mild and brief TG content.

Those of you who pray, please do so for me.

I haven't written a word 4 months and I miss it a lot. I have some really radical story ideas and hope that I can somehow find the time to put them into bytes and bits soon.

From: Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

I struggled and fought until I was too exhausted to continue, but felt that I had succeeded in resisting temptation. Heavenly Father had been kind to me in a very special way.

The attraction of a young college student to a rich and powerful man who led her to face her darkest weaknesses somehow drew me and made me feel guilty in spite of the fact that I did not sin. I was tempted but did not sin. So why did I feel so guilty, as if I had sinned?

So, I have been slaving away for years, secretly writing a romance novel. When I write, sometimes I really get into the story and actually try to live it, mostly to write the realisim. Sometimes I worked so hard that the windows in my office would fog up, depriving me of view of, harbor with huge plastic boat sitting in it. Or maybe I was sitting in steaming tub with rubber ducky and writing with laptop? Man, I got the good stuff this time! Woooeeeee!

So, I called the book "50 Shades", goodness those are a lot of sunglasses to carry around.

Most of the time I successfully resist my exhibitionistic wanna be stripper inner self with great success. Though several years ago, I did go clubbing in not enough clothing, those days are long over for me and I strive to be as modest as a Nun, or more. It seems my Muslim days left a permanent mark on me.

I see there is no "Bike" tonight. Angharad is usually quite diligent about telling us if she is too knackered to write. I do hope you are OK.

Gwendolyn

Several people from different compartments of my life have asked me to write my autobiography and I am finally feeling well enough to take on such a task. It will be a transgender (inter-sex) story, and it will also include every aspect of my life, including my success, failures and embarrassing moments. It will include all aspects of my spiritual journey.

I still have a lot to think about, but I think if it has to be sugar coated to avoid offending someone, then it is not worth the effort. It will include it all both smelly and fragrant.

Most of us, I believe, have very stylized ideas about what it means to be a woman in real life, and I must admit that my idea of a woman's life is vastly different than it was back in 1990, the initial start of my journey to my true self.

When I was in Thailand to get my body remodeled, there was a person there who was sort of the coordinator. She was TG,post op, Canadian, and had been a teacher. She drank a lot, a lot! Her job was to insure that we got to the hospital and then to the clinic afterward for thrice daily dilation, and generally see to our welfare. For her it was all about the bars, and male conversations. I could see she was deeply troubled and felt sorry for her, though she resisted any effort to help her to a less destructive life style.

So, some of the stories here are really long and I can't read them in one setting, so I have been using a marker to mark the position of the slide thingie before I shut down for the night. Before you all laugh at me, how else can I do it? It is really troublesome to find my place again when I come back on line.

I am worried about getting the marks off my screen.

Is there some sort of book mark thingie I can use so I can come back to the right place?

Thank you.

Gwendolyn

In some areas of my life I am unapologetically weird. Pantyhose make me feel claustrophobic, so I always wore gartered stockings, which I gave up on when I was Muslim, because with floor length skirts, who needs anything but cotton anklets? So, now that I have rejoined a wider community, I can wear skirts up to my knees, so in more formal situations, I need to wear stockings again.

Since I began to seriously began to address my different-ness in 2001 the good folks at this site have carried me through crisis after crisis; 5 hospitalizations for mental breakdown, a SRS operation, the loss of my family and everything I cared about in life. I was three days from living on the street before things slowly began to turn around. It took years, 10 of them to finally feel like I really wanted to live again, and that did not begin to happen until early last March.

Ok, girls take out a pen and paper and be sure to jot down notes. Test to follow.

So, I spent a delightful morning at the Gyno docs while she taught he how I might get myself out of my pruned up Vagina problem. You see, I have been a bad little girl and stopped dilating about 2 years ago, and now I don't think a rabbit could do me.

I mean, I'm not complaining because I have several stories that just sort of remain unfinished, and I think people like that are bloody awful. So, I resolve not to do that any more.

Anyhow, I was wondering what happened to Ice Tiger and the story called Anari something...can't exactly remember who the authors are, so I just can't bug them directily. There is another one about people being on a slave ship and escaping...