As the years pass, it becomes increasingly painful and lonely to not have a husband/ companion. The need to talk this out and think about the practicality of the idea has grown really clear to me. So, earlier tonight, as I was out riding, I began to consider who that I know could offer the best council.
The Mormon Church has been wonderful to me; supportive, dependable and gentle. But are they my family? They say they are, and in the next months they will have the chance to show it.
On the other hand, when I think of who it is that has really been through it with me, it would be those who I have known for years on this site. It is astonishing and humbling to me, how many of you have said they love me, and have been kind, caring, and great counsel when I am lost.
So, in my thinking, it seems that those who want to be, here at BCTS, are my family in ways that some of you would never suspect.
The problem with my seeking a husband is that I am a heterosexual woman, and a somewhat prudish one at that. As far as I am concerned there will be no poking around without a wedding ring and a preacher saying his thing over us. I am LDS, and not open to a mixed marriage, having had experience with some of them others and had them treat me dreadfully.
At my age, it is doubtful that we'd be awfully active sexually, but I would want to see to the needs of my potential partner as best I can. I realise that BCTS is probably not the place to seek a husband, unless one of the lurkers wishes to try. I don't want some old guy that wants to lay in his recliner and watch the porn channel, or football all day. If he can't ride a bike a little, and do some hiking and camping, then we are perhaps not a match. UNLESS, I come across someone with a heart of gold, powerful intellect, and is kind and gentle that is also, in a wheel chair or something similar but is full of fight. If he has not given up then perhaps I'm his girl.
I'd perhaps be open to a FtM male if he is really willing to be the man, lug nuts, and oil changes included.
To be clear, I am as much a girly girl as I can humanly be.
So, probably no one here wants a try at me, but I will greatly appreciate Sisterly/Motherly council.
This was not written under the influence of significant mind altering drugs.
Gwendolyn
Comments
This was not written under
Are you suuuuuuuure? giggle
Hey, I feel you. I'm a lot younger than you and I still already feel twinges of the green eyed monster every time I see a couple enjoying each others company.
I've quite a ways to go though before I'd likely be able to attract anyone who I'd want to attract. I'm really not interested in being a "gay guy" or a "straight guy". I'm just not a guy at all. I'm a bisexual female. Period. No matter what my present physical circumstances say. Though, due to my religious upbringing I'd only be interested for that reason in dating males.
Abigail Drew.
Getting this past the GA
Yes, I understand OUR plight, so in the cold dawn light, perhaps the best that is going to happen is as a care giver.
Gwendolyn
good luck on your search hon
Me, I would love to find an understanding person, most likely female but males would be considered, to cuddle with, laugh with, and share with, but dont have any takers yet.
Mormon Church
You may be severely disappointed in your warm welcome to the mormon church. So long as you're a potential member they will love and even smother you with all the attention you desire, until you are a member then they leave you on your own and move onto the next potential.
I became a member by baptism when I was 16. At 19 my mother went to the local church leader. They invited me to reform (dress like a guy) or they would excommunicate me. I saved them the trouble.
The mormon members as a group are very supportive, but reduce their numbers and they are as bigotted and hateful as any small group.
My local reception really soured my beliefs and I recommend you be prepared for the 'not in my backyard' reaction when they find out you are not interested in reforming.
Dayna.
Sorry to hear
you're feeling lonely.
*Gives you Dominant Masculine Huggles*
Dear Gwen,
I sincerely believe you and i wish you the best of luck! I don't know all that much about LDS, but Kim's daughter was forced into it, her other mom, Jackie, was not into the religion much, but she did get food and other help from some bishop around here when she was unemployed. She's on SS disability now, so I don't know how LDS is involved with her.
This area, SE Phoenix metro, more specifically Mesa, Gilbert and some parts of S. Tempe and Chandler are pretty heavily LDS. Kim rents pasture and stalls for her horses on a 8 or so house cul de sac of acre or more sized lots zoned as horse property. 7 out of 8 of these around a million dollar houses are LDS. The present adult owners are maybe 60 to 75; the men had a variety of occupations, but most are from old farming families that sold their land to developers as the PHX are grew rapidly since the '60's. They say the growth around here started booming because of the availability of affordable AC and air travel.
I thought LDS churches or larger districts had some sort of match maker service; I think you said your bishop knows about you, GRS, etc. He might have the best idea of your chances for an LDS mate. I think your attraction to conservative, patriarchal religions might have bitten you in the butt, here. It seems (to my knowledge) that LDS men, our age, involved with the church, are all conservative, thereby less likely to accept a post op. I don't know if they will be influenced by knowing you are intersex rather that "ordinary TS"
I occassionally attend a Unitarian Universalist church around here. They are just pleased as punch if anyone LGBT attends; they had their teen youth group participate in the PHX Gay pride parade. I bet older male members aren't falling over themselves trying to date Tgals, but I'm almost curtain that some would be open minded enough. UU are a moderately old denomination from England; they might sound like they are Flower Children, new age spiritualists or something, but they are solid and lead many causes like Abolition of slavery, the vote for wimyn, no child labor, etc.
About transmen; I have no idea how many are in LDS, but I know they are more rare that Tgals. Just guessing, I'd say then median age of their oldest 10% are somewhat younger than we are, possibly 5 or 10 years. I know you just need one individual so group statistics don't matter all that much, but they might give you a guess about your odds of finding someone from various groups.
I wonder if it's possible to put a womyn seeking man add in a LDS publication that would be seen around here and in Utah? Even better would be more casual networking type intelligence to find T friendly men in various areas.
I think you would make a great wife and companion; you are very bright, well spoken, hard working (I think) and would be very loving, caring and nurturing to a good man!
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
A Husband/Companion
Gwendolyn, I sincerely hope that you do find A Husband/Companion.
May Your Light Forever Shine