Amnesia

Magic is.. not a word I would use to describe prom night.[1.1]

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15herrmann-night.jpg A hero isn't born a heroine and growing up can be a bumpy road.
In this instalment we go back a few years.

Events unfold including but not limited to:
A slightly more awake Sarah
(although the benefits of that are debatable)
And Hannah reluctantly goes to prom for a night he should never forget.

Guardian of Future Days, Pt. 3

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Author's Note: I thought I would try my hand at writing again by going back to the beginning: my first story here. It didn't garner much of a response but there wasn't much to it. I'm trying to write again and if I can kindle my creative juices and get over the apathy and issues caused by my illnesses then maybe I can return to some of my other stories.

A Tale of A Thousand Days and A Promise Chapter 3

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konachan-com-68167-amafuki_setsuka-blue_hair-blush-green_eyes-hanafubuki-japanese_clothes.jpg

Washed ashore with no money, no identity and no memory of a life before. Adopted by a kind family only to be plunged into the fires of war. Will the boy, more beautiful than any girl, live a life of happiness or one of sadness?

A Tale of A Thousand Days and A Promise
Chapter 3

By Shinieris

A Tale of A Thousand Days and A Promise Chapter 2

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konachan-com-68167-amafuki_setsuka-blue_hair-blush-green_eyes-hanafubuki-japanese_clothes.jpg

Washed ashore with no money, no identity and no memory of a life before. Adopted by a kind family only to be plunged into the fires of war. Will the boy, more beautiful than any girl, live a life of happiness or one of sadness?

A Tale of A Thousand Days and A Promise
Chapter 2

By Shinieris

South of Bikini 3: Episode 4- Dreams, Realms, and New Beginnings

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The changes continue for Alex and friends as their lives seem to be intertwining uncontrollably. Details of the Empress’ last mission begin to emerge. Terra’s new era finally and truly begins.

Grandpa Takes Beth to Bikini Beach

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Some readers may recall sick Beth mentioned a couple times in "A Bikini Beach Summer". Unfortunately, Grandmother's solution to everything wiped out Ruth's attempt to get information about Beth's sickness to her parents. This is a side-story to the sequel, which is still being written. It occurs a few weeks later, and Beth's condition has consequently worsened.

Never Meddle in the Affairs of a Woman, Ch 12

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***

Chapter Twelve

“Ignorance is Bliss”

***

Light filtered in through the expensive curtain to hit me in the face. ‘Why is it that I’m always being woken up by some kind of annoyance,’ I wondered. I sat up and looked around the hotel room. My head hurt and my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I wondered how much I’d drank last night, it was all a blur. I got up and padded softly to the window and pushed back the curtain.

The Waif ~ 1

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This is the story of a lost and orphaned child—and how he comes to find himself.

NOTE: This is the story that came to me as I wrote ‘The Bestseller’—the story that Barbie penned to illustrate her transformation. I love the fantasy genre, but have never really attempted to write much in it—I hope this does it justice!

Part One: The Beginning

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 26-30

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 26

*Before…

And we’re both like looking at each other and the feeling of remembering or like déjà vu is like so super strong.

We’re both totally doing the mouth drop stare at each other.

And we both do the Jinx thing…twice.

And we both do. “You owe me a Tim’s.”

And my…my heart is breaking in a good way from the familiarity thing.

My heart is breaking in this amazing way because…because she and I we just did this…it wasn’t a fluke.

This is something that we did!

I…Sarah have like real history with someone and she’s doing the same kind of freaking out in a good way as we’re looking at each other and she’s getting it…and tearing up over it and my hand’s coming up to my mouth in that happy sobby thing and Kaitlyn’s doing that happy waving crying arm flapping thing.

“Oh holy crap Sarah it’s there! You’re there!”

(Happy double sobs.)

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 25

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 25

*Before…

“You don’t seem like the sort of girl that’d be a fake friend even in stealth mode. This is why we still need to work Sarah…it’s still there, it surfaced in medical Imaging at least partway in a flashback.”

(Sniffle.) “This sucks.”

“Yeah, it does but you’re going to get through it.”

(Sniffle.) “I am?”

She points past my shoulder and Dad’s there in his jeans and his jacket and he’s giving me this look, it’s that kind of sort of look that you’d honestly only get if you were someone’s kid.

Yep more tears.

He comes over and he slides onto the bed and he puts his arm around my shoulder and he pulls me close and I sort of turn so I can hug him and hold onto him and start to cry.

“I love you Sarah, honestly and truly kiddo…and I will get you through this.”

His arms tighten and it’s suddenly me safe with my Dad.

Yep…sooo crying right now.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 24

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 24

*Before…

It’s an hour and a half past visiting hours by the time we’re done watching the movies and we’re all yawning and stretching and stuff and we head downstairs to leave or rather they are and I walk them downstairs mostly to get the aches from the bed and sitting for so long out and stuff.

We hug and promise to talk online and stuff later and I watch them get into their cars and stuff.

Danny has his license apparently and he’s driving this old, really old cutlass cruiser station wagon…that’s Oldsmobile I think it’s such a beater but it kind of suits him.

Sigh…What a really, really good night.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 23

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Hopscotch… A Jump Through Life 23

*Before…

I hear some clapping from the doorway and I look up to see Danny and Jo-Beth with some bags of stuff. And Danny’s grinning and he looks different than his pictures but not, he’s beefed up some since a lot of them by like maybe ten or fifteen pounds of like muscle by the looks of his arms and he’s got a haircut too.

And Jo-Beth who’s clapping all happy like is well…she’s short like five four but she’s got longer hair than her pictures sort of show on her Facebook page and she’s really curvy too like with the sexy hips and she has these really huge boobs.

And I’m kind of feeling a little shy and stuff and I’m biting my lower lip a little and stuff.

“Hey…you guys came.”

Danny grins holding up a big take out bag from MacDonald’s. “And I brought ice cream.”

Kaitlyn squees. “Yay Ice Cream!”

Wow Danny…he looks at her and he looks like he was kind of just hit by a truck.

(Giggles)

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 22

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 22

*Before…

Mom takes Dad’s hand and she kisses him and she leads him out of my room and I look at Kaitlyn and she sort of blushes under the scrutiny and bites her lower lip a little and we sort of do that intense stare at each other thing before the tears are building up in my eyes and I start to cry and…

“Thank you, thank you for just like dropping your life and coming…” (Sniffle.)

She gives me that head tilty really light up the day kind of pretty smile and she reaches up and she thumbstrokes some of the tears that are starting away from my face.

I’m happy crying still some and just emotionally crying too and I’m shaking a little because I’ve never had anyone do that to me before and my brain’s in like good shock?

“You’re my friend Sarah of course I’d come.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 21

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Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 21

*Before…

It was sort of scary dealing with them and at the same time it was just all sorts of cool.

He has Mom sign the stuff for charges to be pressed if and when they can and he leaves with the police officer.

The town police officer was kind of quiet, I’m not sure what he was thinking or if it was like about me or me being trans or not. I really couldn’t tell and I don’t know if that’s just me in my head or it’s just a police thing.

I sigh and double hand hold my coffee as they’re done and Mom and Dr. Johansson are looking at me. “You want to go for a walk and clear out the ughs from all of this?”

I take a breath and a sip then nod. “I think so, okay let’s go.”

Mom slips her arm around my back and we head out to do a few rounds round the hospital with her and my therapist.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 20

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 20

*Before…

They all kind of are gone after that and I’m kind of just sitting there wiping the odd tear leaking out of kind of like relief. There’s some more answers and there’s people that kind of sort of know me and stuff but more importantly they want to know me.
Sarah me…Well I think I mean that they mean me; the whole thing was on Shawn’s page and all.
And Adam…wow…Shawn stood at least for something.
I really can’t like see me being brave though, crazing and wanting to get hurt maybe but brave?
Though it’s kind of nice to know that Shawn wasn’t like an ass to people.
And I am tired…and tomorrow is likely going to be a busy day and things.
I wipe at my eyes again and power down and close my laptop and try and get comfortable and get some sleep before Mom or the staff show up for stuff tomorrow.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 19

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 19

*Before…

“Yes, if that’s the rumors that you’ve been hearing then it’s true. I’m transgender. I always have been but with most of everything that was Shawn kind of broken and gone now there was all of this stuff that I was hiding from all of you and my family and yeah really likely myself.”

Well that’s done.

I go back to looking through my Facebook and going through old posts and shares and even looking into the accounts of the people that I have on my friends lists and what they’ve been acting like or saying and stuff.

Maybe there’s some people that I can talk to, some that might talk to me.

But those other three…they’re not friends so yeah…Blocking…Banhammer time.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 18

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 18

*Before…

And now…now I have what happens after a girl is done crying.

I’m hurt.

I’m hurt and I’m angry.

I get out of the shower and I dry off and glare at myself a few moments in the mirror before going and getting my things, dry underwear and change and dry there…eyes hard…jaw clenched through that.

Then I get my tablet and start playing tunes…Pink…angry stuff girl power kind of stuff and I start looking at myself in the mirror and take out my make-up and with a breath and leaning on the sink gripping it in a sort of eff-you to all of them I start doing my face.

“Fuck you…fuck you all (Angry sniffle.) I’m going to be who I am…and you’ll have to just deal with it.”

I’m going to do this, and keep doing this until I’m good at it, better than good at it.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 17

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 17

*Before…

We eat and watch Stardust on my laptop since apparently it was in the DVD drive as if that wasn’t like telling and even the parents raised an eyebrow at that and made me blush and soon after that they have to head home with their actual RL stuff going on and everything like work and Dad has a long drive to go and get Nova…Uhm Kaitlyn tomorrow and me…well I start going through my laptop trying to figure out just exactly what Shawn was like and where Sarah was hiding in all of the stuff here.

It’s thanks to password saves on my Firefox that I get into Shawn’s Facebook and E-mails.

Oh…that was a mistake.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 16

*Before…

“Yes and if you can do without your mom and I for a while tomorrow we’re going to drive down and pick her up so we can actually meet her parents instead of talking to them on the phone and online.”
I can’t help it but I end up hugging him and he hugs me back.
And there it is the sniffles. (Sniffle.) “You guys are awesome, you sure it’s okay?”
He gives me a bit of a tighter squeeze that sort of sets off what the Doc just said about all of the stuff that they must have gone through with me and everything. It really, really means a whole hell of a lot that he and that she cares so much.
That he’s hugging me like hugging me is special.
……me…special.
Y’know it’s one of those visceral feelings more than anything else but it feels like feeling like I’m special was something that was pretty far removed from my life before this.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 15

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 15

*Before…
She heads back into the office and I look at Mom and Dad. “One of my friends wants to come here and visit and that might mean that she’ll be staying at our place if she’s allowed to…so…can she come over?”
Dad and Mom look at each other and Dad says. “We need to talk to her parent’s first kiddo.”
I nod. “I have their contact info here.”
I bring it up and show Dad who writes it down and he smiles. “Going to Tim’s you want anything?”
“A double-double?”
“Okay.”
He leaves and Mom stays and I hug her then I knock on the Doc’s office door then head inside to set her up with her own LJ account.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 14

*Before…

I actually journal that last bit as a kinda sorts update and then I sent out some PM’s to the people on my friends list.
“Uhm Hey everyone this is Sarah, I’m kind of in a bind and stuff. I’ve got a psychiatrist and she sorta seems alright but it’s still scaring me and everything really bad. See she wants to see this, all of this stuff here on my LJ because it’s the only stuff of me that I have that is any record of me…I mean I don’t really have Shawn-time as me to go by as stuff that happened before in my life.”
“I think, I think I have to do this which means I’ll be friending her to my LJ page here and that there will be a Shrink and an Adult here listening in and stuff.”
“Goddamn it, that scares the shit out of me.”
“If you all need to block or unfriend me to like feel safe and all I get it, it’s really my deal and my bullshit that this is all about and stuff…no judgment from here if you need to bail.”
“But I think, I think that I need to do this.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 13

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Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 13

*Before…

Dad comes in and to the rescue with two of those flannel sheets from the heated thing he wraps one around Mom and he does this big hug and hold thing for her like he’s squeezing her back together and she grips his forearm like she’s hanging onto him…(Sniffle-wow…) and he unfolds it and sets it on the back of my chair and the heat…oh god it feels so good and there’s this relief-care-sob that comes out and Dad gives me this big hug not a hard one but just big and he holds me a few moments before kissing the top of my head.

“Breathe Kiddo, Breathe…it’s just a test, just an arbitrary thing it’s not you. It’s not a big thing.”

Breathe and breathe…oh…I can seriously breathe now…

(Sniffle.) “Thanks Dad, Thanks for the spoons.”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 12

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 12

*Before…

“Later’s and Satori?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thanks for today, it really helped and the offer it’s amazing.”

“Hai-hai.”

I smile as she logs off chat and I’m just staring at her page and then smiling as Mom and Dad come in and whatever they have smells amazing.

I’m drooling as he passes me a thing of heat up yourself ramen noodles and with it a Chinese take-out bowl filled with Hot and Sour soup.

And some stuff for me to do.

Right now happiness is Hot and Sour soup and crayons and a coloring book.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 11

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Hopscotch… A Jump in Life 11

*Before…

“Yeah it’s pretty much all gone and I’ve found myself here in this journal and with all of you…and even with my memory gone…guess what? I’m still trans. So I guess I’m still Sarah. And I’m like out to my folks.”

“I sort of had a major PTSD freak out inside the Scanner-coffin thing and I…Sarah came out during my panic attack. Thankfully my folks seem to be cool about it. The whole thing though is really scary and really messed up. I think so for all of us.”

“Well that’s about it for now, I really can’t think of much else to say or cover right now.”

I read it twice and then I hit post and I sit back and switch over to my You Tube to watch some videos and as I’m doing so I’m getting pings to my g-mail with replies to my post.

I’m really nervous as I click it over and start to read them.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 9

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 9

*Before…

He passes Mom’s hers and she does the exact almost same thing as I did and he picks up some bags from the floor that he brought in from Sears and Walmart and sets them on the bed.

“Your Mom and I agree that until you get home and can go through your things that I’d best make a pit stop for a few things for you so here you go. Now your Mom picked the sizes and hell she picked out most of this and sent me pics of what to get on the phone so if it doesn’t fit blame her. And the rest is stuff that I picked out.”

Oh…oh wow I look in the bags and it’s clothes and things and I can see packages of underwear and stuff and I look and look and look then I look at him and I look at her and I bite my lip.

“I…I don’t know if I’ve ever dressed like this before...”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 8

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 8

*Before…

No…honey not at all there’s nothing wrong at all about being trans.”
(Sniffle-whine.) “There’s not?”
“No, not at all…you’re a girl. It’s just a pronoun, it’s just one little thing about you.”
(Sniffle.) “But I’m…I’m like…”
She is wiping at my face with a tissue now and that helps and I see this soft concerned but actually caring and maybe even happy? How? How can she be happy about this?
Here hand strokes my face and she kisses my cheek. “You’re alive Sarah. You’re still alive.”
And I start crying all of over again and it feels like this deep aching dam of stuff inside that I couldn’t really articulate like right just kind of breaks in me and lets go with this flood.
………….right now, right friggin now I’m Sarah and i…I really have a Mom.

*And Now…

Butterfly Curse

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.
.Butterfly Curse

Written by Dauphin
Be careful when you visit a Chinese shop to see TV in piece, and if you get thirsty, remember that one bottle can be the Butterfly Curse
"A Sad story that sees a happy boy ruined and with no hope" Diana
"Sometimes its hard to see justice in the world, i wanted to write about that" Dauphin

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 7

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 7

*Before…

Though I did read me saying that “I’d love it but I’d never really wear it.”
I said that a lot.
Though I can see why.
I mean there’s a lot of me that I can see as Sarah seeing Shawn never being out of the way and that had to…and does…suck.
I can even sort of feel that much.
…….I want to be pretty, to just kind of walk and feel and be that person that I feel like inside.
I absolutely do not feel like a Shawn.
Actually I feel…I feel.
I feel like I’m going to panic because now I’m inside this thing and it’s small and it’s closed in and it’s making noises and lots of them and all of a sudden I’m not there.
I’m in the car and it’s rolling and it’s rolling and every time it rolls the air is getting redder and redder and I’m screaming and screaming and it won’t move! It won’t give I can’t get out and my back hurts and I can’t get out1 “Lemme go! Lemme out, please, please let me out! Help! I’ll be good! I’ll be a good Girl! I’ll be a good Girl!”

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 6

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 6

*Before…

I hug her back. “I’m different now aren’t I?”

I feel her nod in the hug. “Yeah, kind of a lot different but not…but I love you anyways.”

There’s something there…something kind of shining through. “Always?”

She sniffle nods.

“Good, cause I think I’m going to need that.”

“Shawn?”

I’m right there on the edge of saying…something, I don’t know what…but something and then the nurses are back in and with a wheelchair. “Alright Shawn you ready for your tests?”

Sigh.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 5

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 5

*Before…

I look at her. “I’m like my Dad?”
“Well with like that temperament and stuff.”
“Oh…”
I…I really don’t know how to deal with that or how to feel about it? I mean I’m Sarah right so I just kind of thought that I’d take after my Mom more or something and not my dad and I really can’t figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“Surprised?”
“Y...Yeah kind of…it wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.”
“Really?”
“Yeah…I thought I’d be more like you Mom.”
I look at her and she actually has this really sort of surprised look on her face.
And…I’m really surer than ever she doesn’t know.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 4

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 4

*Before…

And there’s people that are there like me on my friends list and that are trans too and stuff and they call me Whisper or Wisp or Song but several of them…

They call me Sarah.

And even reading it, reading it with that inner voice inside…you know the one that goes on while you’re reading something and there’s that inside narrative thing?

It doesn’t feel wrong.

It doesn’t feel like Shawn.

And there’s tears starting to run down my face.

I think I’m really Sarah.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 3

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 3

*Before…

I…I don’t know what’s wrong but it’s wrong and I know she’s trying her best but I end up crying through the whole thing and even when she’s done I’m still crying and I roll over to my side as best I can and cry into the pillow.

I think she was rubbing my back at one point and trying to comfort me and she was replaced by Mom and there is something that is like maybe visceral there?

I know Mom’s touch, just from the way she was with me before I know the difference and I cry all the harder once it’s her.

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 2

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 2

Chapter 2

*Before…

I swallow. “Am I okay?”

“We don’t know, we’ll see what the doctors say Shawn.”

I nod.

That still just doesn’t sit right with me but what can I do?

*And Now…

Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 1

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Hopscotch…A Jump in Life 1

Chapter 1

Beep…
Beep…
Beep…

My throat hurts…

There’s a flicker in the darkness… a jingle of keys? Seeing them falling slowly into a hand and a feeling of excitement.

I see a blue car, a muscle car and we’re all running towards it.

We…I’m with a bunch of guys getting in the back seat.

I can feel a forward pushing me back feeling going fast.

I don’t think there was any like drinking or stuff but there was yelling.

The screech of tires and a girl screaming.

Me?

Spark - 02 - Less Than Thrilled

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Spark
by
Stardraigh

Less Than Thrilled

SALAMANDER, n. Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.
~ The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

Spark - 01 - Undesired Assertions

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Spark
by
Stardraigh

Undesired Assertions

SALAMANDER, n. Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.
~ The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

Salamander

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Salamander
by
Stardraigh

SALAMANDER, n. Originally a reptile inhabiting fire; later, an anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water.
~ The Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce

The Manumission Game, part 6 of 6

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“I come to play,” he said, holding up the cards and fanning the deck to show the faces. “Do you care for Six-Card Pitch?”

Their faces were suddenly avid. “Nay, Six-Card Pitch is a game for fools. Let’s play a round of Tentstakes,” said the dark-skinned tall woman.

“And the stakes shall be...” the most buxom of the shorter women said, frowning as if she were trying to remember something.

“Ourselves!” another cried.

The Manumission Game, part 5 of 6

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“I think they’re under a curse to remain like that until they sleep with a certain man. Probably the sorcerer who put the curse on them, or his patron — but something went wrong and they never did sleep with the guy, and they’ve been like that for decades, maybe centuries.”

The Manumission Game, part 4 of 6

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“I’m not a woman,” he said in a low voice. “I’m a man, but a wicked alchemist did this to me. Can you tell me anything about the sorcerer who did this to you?”

A haunted look came into the eyes of the women for a moment, but quickly passed. “We have ever been thus,” one of them said.

Life as a Penny

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.
.Life as a penny

Written by Dauphin
The year is 2029. People are tired of criminals. They are regressed to children. Louis is one of these
Being re-written, to correct the spelling and grammer mistakes

TwentyThree - Part 1

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Twenty Three — Part One
Man was making such a mess of the world in 2020, something had to be done, or womankind would be lost forever.

International Miss Sissy

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. .International Miss Sissy Written by Dauphin Being re-written, to correct the spelling and grammer mistakes

A New Doctor in Town; Who? Part 4

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A New Doctor in Town; Who? Part 4

By: Desiree Jones
Doctor
Who Fan-Fiction

Dr. Who and other recognizable Dr. Who character's are the Property of the BBC, there will be a few original characters which are my own. Princess Tutu is property of AEsir Holdings This story is not for profit but written for my enjoyment as well as those that may read it. Picture is from Victoria's secret ad sent to my email. 

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