(aka Bike) Part 656 by Angharad |
 |
“Do you mind if we talk about this for a moment?” I said indicating myself and Erin.
“No, go ahead, I’ll find us some tea,” said Meg.
“Wonderful, I could murder a cup,” I said, ‘and Erin’, my mind added on.
“Problems?” asked Erin as soon as Meg had removed herself.
“Yeah, I don’t want to do any of this.”
“I thought you were doing it before anyone else did it to you? At least this way you have a modicum of control.”
“I know, but I don’t want to do the other stuff.”
“So? Don’t do it,” Erin snapped angrily at me.
“I don’t want to be away from the girls.”
“Okay, okay, I understand. Look, offer to do the others from a studio link up in Portsmouth. If they can’t organise that, they should be shot. Just make sure you can park there.”
“I could always cycle there,” I said triumphantly.
“Sure, if you want to appear a sweaty blob, carry on. I thought part of this was to show how much an ordinary woman you are.”
“Okay, that’s implicit, I guess.” I blushed, it looked like I’d have to do them. At least it was radio not television.
Meg returned with the drinks and we each grabbed one. BBC tea, it was okay I suppose, I preferred my own brand. “Well, can we consider the four shows for a contract?”
“Not just yet, Cathy and I have been talking and she’s concerned about baby sitting cover for her two girls.”
“Oh, I suppose we could pay something towards it,” said Meg looking down at her notes.
“That wasn’t what we had in mind, why couldn’t the radio programmes be done with a studio link?”
“Part of the magic of Midweek is the interaction of the guests, I mean a couple of months or so ago, we had someone who had transformed from a man into a quite attractive woman, are you alright Cathy?” I started to cough, having been halfway through a swallow at the time.
“I’m fine, “ I said coughing some more.
“Well, part of the magic of the programme was for everyone there to agree with the presenter, that, oh I can’t remember her name, but that she was now an attractive woman.”
“I hope you’re not implying that Cathy used to be a…” said Erin quickly, I was still coughing.
“Good lord no, Cathy is obviously all woman, but a very lovely one, and that’s part of the point. I feel that the powers that be would love to use her again, and the dormouse programme is being repeated on BBC 2 in six weeks time, and with some publicity.”
My stomach flipped over. I wasn’t sure I wanted any of this, well, I quite enjoyed doing the film, especially when Des was about. He used to say things like, “Go on make love to the camera,” it didn’t work, I always collapsed in giggles. “Go on pout sexily,” he’d say, and I fall over laughing. “Cathy, you’re supposed to seduce them, purr at them, you want them to buy this film and its message–get ‘em going, seduce them.” In the end I did. I hated it, but apparently, the viewers didn’t.
“I shall do these radio programmes from Portsmouth. If you want me, you’ll organise it. Oh, and I want seven fifty. I have to go.”
“What about the news and local news?”
“What about it?” I asked standing up.
“You agreed to do a slot on both.”
“How long is that going to take?” I asked brusquely.
“I’ll get someone to record an interview.” Meg got up and practically ran out of the room.
“You prima donna!” exclaimed Erin.
“I’m sick of these bastards pushing me around. I won’t be making any more films while I have the children.”
“You have to.”
“Says who?” I snapped angrily at my agent.
“Says me for one, so do the BBC, you are such a natural. Attenborough is the consummate professional, but he’s been doing it for forty years. You’re a rank amateur and yet better than most of the presenters I’ve ever seen. You have to do this, it’s what you were born to do.”
“I always thought I was born to raise a family and live in the background somewhere with peace and quiet. I could study a bit, write a bit and look after my kids. Is it too much to ask for?”
“Yes it is. Don’t give me the bullshit about staying out of the limelight–you absolutely love it. That film is a seduction, you are seducing the men, women, children, camera crew and even the sodding dormice, until they are putty in your hands. They can’t prevent themselves from hanging on your every word.”
“Well I could, in fact I couldn’t bear to watch it.”
“Yeah, so? Unless you’re into either masturbation or narcissism, that’s hardly surprising is it?”
“What? Are you crazy?” I said loudly and Megan came through the door.
“Is there a problem, ladies?” asked Megan.
“Nah, Cathy was telling me that until she discovered dormice, she thought Wan King, was a town in China.”
I blushed as what she had said got processed. I looked at Meg and she looked confused, then blushed and finally roared with laughter. Reluctantly, I began to snigger as well. Erin chortled, it was an old joke, but it got us all going.
“Meg, will you tell this woman, why you are so eager to hang on to her, as a presenter, I mean?”
Meg looked a bit embarrassed, then said, “You’re brilliant and sexy.”
I nearly collapsed. “You are joking?”
“I wish I could be half as sexy, and no, I’m not joking. Okay, so the dormouse is your subject and you show that in your film. But you also pass on the enthusiasm to others. We’ve had to put up a thing on our website about the dormouse, because viewers keep phoning or emailing us. They want to see one.”
“Do you know how long it took me to be able to find them?” I said almost rhetorically.
“No, how long?”
“Two years of field work.” It was a fib, I was studying something else at the time and began to notice dormice occasionally, then with a bit more practice, I found them more often and so on.
“Oh wow, so just looking at our website, isn’t going to help?”
“Thankfully, no. They’re protected because they’re endangered. I don’t want would-be David Bellamys going looking for them.”
“You might get all these sexy girls out searching for them, trying to emulate you.” Erin was taking the proverbial.
“We want to hang the story on the fact that, on the Isle of Wight, they’ve been increasing in numbers. As the expert we want your take on it.”
“Alright, let’s get started,” I said, with little enthusiasm.
Comments
Pant, pant, pant...
Whew, I'm finally caught up! Reading 656 chapters takes a bit of time!
Poor Cathy just can't take a compliment, can she? Keep up the good Angahard, you're amazing!
Saless
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
"But it is also tradition that times *must* and always do change, my friend." - Eddie Murphy, Coming To America
I can sympathise there
I can sympathise there Saless, Took me a long time to catch up too, But it was worth it, Just so that i could follow Angaharad,s marvelous story.
Good to see Cathy being more assertive and telling the BBC what she wants, If the BBC wants to keep her then they had better keep her sweet...Cathy is in a strong position at the moment...She just needs to use it!!!
Kirri
Catching Up
I put off starting this series for a long time but eventually I succumbed to the power of the dormouse side.
Michelle B
You should all
either pity me or envy me, there is over 3200 chapters now. Pity me because there is so much there and it will take forever, or envy me because there is so much there and I don't have to wait a day between chapters, hee hee.
Surely ...
... Cathy should be aiming for 'Start the Week' in the same slot on Monday morning. With Andrew Marr it's much more intelligent and upmarket. 'Mid-week' is rubbish and our radio quickly gets retuned to Radio 3 when it's on. Of course, 'In our Time' with Melvyn (Lord) Bragg might be like shooting for the moon LOL. Sorry, I'm a Radio 4 addict.
I can't imagine how awful it must be for people who have no desire for celebrity to be hunted by those low-life paparazzi photographers. Cathy has my sympathy.
Geoff
Cute Picture, Angharad,
Cathy must be one of those very rare girls who just happen to have been born with faulty plumbing. Because, she evidently took after her mum in body, and loks. I am basing my observation on the coments on her sexiness, and that she can easily pass as a genetic woman. I wonder if her body is now producing its own hormones? Could Cathy be even slightly intersexed?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
That's it Cathy
Be assertive, kick a$$! Tell them you want to bring your kids along too! Don't let them push you around, you're the STAR! (but it's ok for the star to go home and make lunch for her family too because she's a generally nice person)
Cathy and her agent need to
Cathy and her agent need to remember one important thing. The problem with the BBC or any other TV/Radio media is that they will use you, abuse you and then throw you out like last weeks fish. Unless you can constantly come up with something fresh and appealing, you are of no interest to them. That is "stardom" for you.
J-Lynn
Actually
Erin is using Cathy in this role. She needs an advocate besides Erin, who doesn't really give a flip about Cathy or her family. Tom might do it, but he does not need the stress. Stella maybe?
Think about it, it is to Erin's benefit to push Cathy into as much publicity as possible. Erin doesn't have to live with the consequences, and there is strong financial motive here. Cathy's is going to have to learn to say no.
Do you know how many more there are to go ? 2500!
750lb That's more like it ! stick it to them, it's only money
Cefin
Here we go ! Radio and Television! What more?
I'm reading the full series again. I read the new installments as they come in live, then continue rereading the early installments.
Angharad, this body of work is so well done that the same joy sharing Cathy's life happens each time through. I particularly love it when you take the story line down a well known path such as normal folks experience, then thread out to enhance the emotional back story. Reaching back into Cathy's treasury of one-on-one contacts with real people, definately draw readers into the story, almost as participants. Doesn't feel like fiction, doesn't read like fiction, it's real :)
Richelle
participating in Cathy's life
I'm glad
That you're enjoying it the second time around. I must admit I occasionally am looking for something mentioned earlier on and end up reading quite a tranche of episodes sometimes I don't even remember little story arcs, sometimes I cringe at the mistakes and other times feel quite pleased by the way something turned out. Thanks for the comment.
Angharad